Puerileuwaite Keeps Quiet

By Amanda Huginkis
2 hours, 55 minutes ago

What was supposed to be a public affair has ended up being pretty hush-hush.


Puerileuwaite, who had a full schedule of appearances lined up to promote his new album, "Limp Cactus: Nevermind the Pricks", is sidelined with a strained vocal cord and has been ordered not to sing, his publicist confirmed Monday.


His physician warned the "approximately" 26-year-old songbird not to use it or else face losing it, stating Puerileuwaite should refrain from speaking while giving his pipes time to rest. This apparently means ALL pipes, so consorting with groupies is also off-limits.


The setback forced Puerileuwaite to cancel a date with The Late Show with David Letterman and a Friday performance on the Today show is now up in the air. Instead, the "Holding My Own" singer flew to New York a day earlier than planned and met with a voice specialist.

"He's on total vocal rest, and some of his appearances have been delayed," said publicist Hugh Jazz. "He can talk, he can croak out a few sentences. He sounds a little off, but, you know, he can't sing." Questioned further as to whether this was a new condition, or in fact a problem that Puerileuwaite has always had, Mr. Jazz quickly fled the room.


The specialist described Puerileuwaite's problem as either a strained or bruised vocal cord. Experts worldwide have recommended its complete removal, along with the others, just to be on the safe side.

Puerileuwaite did manage to drop by Total Request Live Tuesday, where he hoarsely introduced music videos, and briefly flashed his ta-ta's.


A friend of the Teen Choice Award winner for Creepiest Trenchcoat Guy told Bad Touch Magazine that Puerileuwaite, who has been communicating with people via crude dolphin-like squeals and random groping, was feeling physically okay but was bummed about the bad timing.

"Limp Cactus: Nevermind the Pricks", Puerileuwaite's first album on Stalker Records since making the switch from Coloniscope--as well as his first album post-deflowering--comes out on Tuesday. A half-hour MTV special, Puerileuwaite: A Private Man by Public Vote, airs Sept. 4. The (luckily) pretaped show promises a "very sexually intimate performance of songs from his new album" and "an exclusive inside look at Puerileuwaite's inner workings."


MTV has long been a good friend to its onetime key grip. The video for the dance-happy eponymous first single from "Limp Cactus: Nevermind the Pricks" featuring John Bobbitt, Paris Hilton, Jerry Mathers, Slim Whitman, Andy Dick and Ryan Seacrest, directed by Mark Ratner, debuted on MTV's TRL July 19.