Hi everybody,
As inspired by Gautami's latest post, I would like to submit a poorly crafted and - therefore - humble poem.
***
Inertia
Why must people stand around?
Heads up their asses,
knuckles on the ground.
Inertia.
Why must SUVs blaze away?
Yet in front of me,
they take all day.
Inertia.
Why is Happy Hour so adored?
Yet work itself is such a bore,
even that receptionist flirt - the filthy whore.
Inertia.
Why won't winter take the hint?
Triggering thoughts I cannot print,
that I lust for gals with healthy tint.
Inertia.
Why so challenging to post?
When it's my blog buds,
I enjoy the most.
Inertia.
Why just one word?
For all these situations,
mental masturbation.
Inertia.
:-)
;-)
ReplyDeleteI like it..the poem I mean..
Leelee - I can't help but wonder if there was something else besides the poem ...
ReplyDeleteEXCELLENT! Fabuous poem, Pug.
ReplyDeleteInertia is your friend,
Until it's your enemy
Because you can't begin.
I was going to comment. but then I couldn't think of anything to say. So I went back to sleep.
ReplyDeleteYou are a literary genius!
ReplyDeletewhat do YOU think Pugsly...
ReplyDelete~wink~
brilliant!
ReplyDeletetruly awesome!
a pugly tour de force!
so, time now for a new post...
/t.
"Curse you Walt Whitman!! "Leaves of Grass" my ass!!
ReplyDelete-Homer Simpson-
I don't know why, but this seemed appropriate.
Poorly crafted? Hmph. I like it. Hell, it defines me, woman dying of terminal ennui with contraindicated inertia. You were peeping in my window when you wrote that, weren't you?
ReplyDeleteLeelee - Trust me. You're better off not knowing.
ReplyDelete***
/t. - Curse you for seeing my bluff. You are much too clever for us naughty people.
***
Limpy - Let me put it this way: The Simpsons are always SO appropriate, that it's a full-time struggle not to constantly plagiarize them (and your reference reminded me of the time I went camping and ran out of T.P. [ouch, the memories]).
***
Serena - When I wrote it? No, not while I wrote it (p.s. - I am more excited about Prom Night than ever!).
Me, too, Puggy. Me, too. You CAN dance, can't you?
ReplyDeleteWhy must people stand around?
ReplyDeleteHeads up their asses,
knuckles on the ground.
this bit sounds like some sort of perverted yoga to me. LOL
Love the poem.
Serena - Sure can. If the "Horizontal Mambo" counts as a dance. Also I am intrigued by the Lambada, and the Tango (because I heard it takes two to Tango).
ReplyDelete***
Cathy - Thanks. Unfortunately this particular form of Yoga is way too prevalent - especially in business.
I like! And you are right. Print those thougtht anyway!
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way...
ReplyDeleteIf there were fewer words, fewer languages describing the whole cosmos, it would have been a better place to live in.
Though the rhyming is a bit haphazard at times, I like the overall effect.
You neeed to write more of poetry.
Why won't this object accelerate?
ReplyDeleteIts motion tends to remain straight,
which makes me want to flatulate.
Inertia.
Enemy - Thanks. That is my (new?) philosophy for this blog. Hope you're doing well, my good friend.
ReplyDelete***
Gautami - Your first observation makes a lot of sense.
And I agree with the haphazard rhyming ... to some extent. I purposely wrote and posted this one quickly, without much editing or refinement. I was honestly aiming for more of a rough-edged "Beatnik" feel to it.
I should (and intend to) write more poetry, albeit in my own warped "attempt at being humorous" style.
When I just let it flow, instead of paying too much attention to the mechanics, I tend to enjoy the process more. As I gain confidence, I promise to become a better student of the technical aspects. As always, thank you for your feedback and encouragement!
inertia?
ReplyDeletei heard ya
lazy and sluggish
i say to the puggish
this is the reason it be:
you got pills
to take lard off
and pills to put hards on
pills for jerky legs
pills to fix square pegs
cars that do the parking
shocks to stop the barking
blackberries cell phones
microwaves and sheep clones
liposuction buttocks lift
tons of automated shit
hydroponic supersonic
ambiens and gin n tonics
inertia?
i heard ya
this is the reason it be:
there's a bunch of spoiled lazyass motherf*ckers up in here!!!!!
noam saying?
She - You've still got the gift, my friend. Pills to fix square pegs, you say? Physically or mentally? Because I would like to find out where to get some. Crap. I just realized there may be other people reading this ... nevermind ...
ReplyDeletebetter with bongos. or bongs.
ReplyDeleteprocrastinertia
ReplyDelete& SHE
ha ha ah ahaha ahhah aha ahha ahaha ah haha hah haha ahah ah ah hahah ahah ha a haha haha ahah ahahahah aha ahh aha hahah a ahhaha hahah aha hah ha ahaha ahahhah ah aha hah aha hahh aha ah aahha haha hahah haha ahaha ahaha ahah ahah ahahah a ahaha ahaha haha ahahah ah aha hahah aha hahah ah ahha ahah ahaha hah haha ahahha aha ah aha aha hah aha haha aha hah ahahah a haha hahh aha ahah ahah aha haha haha haha haha ahhaah ah ha ha!
(whew -- someone should come up with a shorthand for the laughing out loud thing)
/t.
I guess you'd better lead so I don't step on your toes -- which is one good reason why horizontal trumps vertical.:)
ReplyDeleteugh--
ReplyDeletepoetry is for the limp of wrist.
She - Alas, I was born too late. I would've loved to be a part of that scene. Dig it.
ReplyDelete***
/t. - "Procrastinertia". I like it. LOL is way, way overused, IMHO.
***
Serena - Agreed. Besides, if you're steppin' on my toes while horizontal, we're probably doing it wrong (but I'll recheck my Kama Sutra just to make sure ...).
***
Crash - Hey buddy! Long time, no see. You have a point, and yet nothing (well, except maybe for one other thing ...) seems to excite the ladies more.
dig it i do PW. and thanks for the props buddy. er, or should i say puppy? (hey /t.)
ReplyDeleteYeah. I always get it backwards.:)
ReplyDelete/t has a point. How does one laugh their ass off in shorthand?
ReplyDeleteThat's neat! I like it. And you have a new post, too.
ReplyDeleteHugs pug...
ReplyDeleteI love how your poem "climaxed" at the end.
:)
I need a drink now~
:x
I woke up, but I still couldn't think of a thing to say. Its like I've got err...whats it called...again? I could look it up in the dictionary, but that would require moving off my ass.
ReplyDeletexx
She - That was a typo. The correct statement should've been "Dig?". I am bummed out, man. I almost had us on the train to Squaresville!
ReplyDelete(I like the blonde hair and straw hat, BTW, but it was the writer/artist that I "Dug" first, even during the "questioning my own masculinity / K9 pre-female cocoon stage".)
***
Serena - I completely understand. For the same reason, that's why I'm no good for factory work. I misplace the procedures manual and skip steps. Bolts don't always get properly mated to nuts; or sometimes in my haste I forget to thread on a washer. Some claim they are more disciplined in Asia; that the quality and production is much higher, despite the inferior tools that they employ.
***
Enemy - I was wondering how people are able to do other things with shorthand.
***
Lamby - Good morning, sunshine! I'm glad you liked the post. Hopefully it won't take so long for the next one, but I never know anymore.
***
FM - Actually that wasn't supposed to be the end, but I suddenly became way too excited. I just want to go on record and say this "has never happened to me before".
:-)
***
Reverend - Not a word to say? Gee, was I THAT good?
;-)
you are too kind, suh.
ReplyDeletegrrherherhaha! your instinct knew all along.
(never trust an avatar.)
alas ive been off my game of blog in favor of art in the real, but enjoy being one of the 12,984 women who come to the pugyard to lay down a steaming brown, or in your venacular, pinch.
speechless, dear puppy. ;)
ReplyDeleteOne question, mental masturbation, what is that? Is that like mind fucking?
ReplyDeleteShe - Well you ARE cute (this is a little awkward ... I've never said this to a woman who I originally thought was a man before).
ReplyDelete***
Reverend - In that case, I need a cigarette (and I don't even smoke).
***
Rev - Not quite. And also: in this context, masturbation is often the preferred option.
LOL Pug-
ReplyDeleteI had 3 comments for you, but I just can't bring myself to post them! LOL-
So- I'll just sit here and grin... and be glad you can't see me blushing :)
It be Dr, Seuss for adults. Me loves it. Oh, and iffin you ain't gonna take the receptionist up on her offer, send her my way.
ReplyDeleteSTOMP-SLURP!
inertia will hurtya. so i formed a new steamer at sparringk9. i am looking forward to your funny take on what that first "thing" is.
ReplyDeleteOh Puglet how I miss thee!
ReplyDeleteFM - There's always Pugmail for those. ;-)
ReplyDelete***
Scary - Dr. Suess kicks ass. And you know, I didn't even realize I was riffing in the same vein. Cool.
Oh, I you don't wanna tangle with THIS receptionist. If you perform badly, she lets the world know with Post-Its all over your car. Not that this has ever happened to me. But just in case, I hold my own "calls".
***
She - Sparring K9 is BACK? Yes! Lemme relink it. And I'll be right over.
***
Pud - Hurray! I've been worried about you. The feeling is mutual, babe. You still rock my Casbah. And I want you to know that I've refused to get sand in my shorts or use a towel after what those bastards did to your trailer. Infidels! I defecate on your prayer rugs!
I really love this poem.
ReplyDeleteEnemy - Thank you. To a humble Pug who is blown away by your writing, your kind words mean a lot.
ReplyDeletemore pug!
ReplyDeletexx