Wednesday, May 06, 2009

A Quick Note To My Loyal Readers

.

Hi Everybody,

So sorry for the delay. I'm not going to lie to you (this time). I could make up some elaborate and exotic excuse as to why I've been able to post only once a month, but the simple excuse is that I've been working quite a bit.

You see, when not avidly pursuing convert Taliban operatives here on the blogs (you know who you are, infidels!), I've been overseeing the last of the Guantanamo torture assignments before that little version of Camelot comes to an end.

Since waterboarding is no longer acceptable, I force the prisoners to read through Lamby's blog. Even the most hardened terrorist is reduced to a quivering blob of confessions within minutes. Excellent work, Agent Lamby.

However I must admit the solace of making America safer is sadly tempered by the realization that I'm shirking my obligations here in blogland. And of course it has completely pushed back Puglypaloosa to the summer months, where public nudity will be necessary to cope with the heat. I'm sure at least one special lady won't have a problem with that. Make that TWO special ladies. And don't even get me started on this gal. Does she ever wear clothing? Geez.

And I've been contributing to society in other ways.

For instance, someone has to reassure all of the Craigslist masseuses that most of "ad respondents" are NOT killers. So at least once a week, I visit a new one and whip that message out.

And what about "Octomom"? Someone had to track down the deadbeat dad. I have it narrowed down to either this guy


or that guy.


Bastards. They should have their tentacles cut off.

Finally, someone had to step in as a surrogate father of Bristol Palin's baby, keep the breast milk flowing, and make sure the two women in the Governor's Mansion are "appreciated". Why can't I be the Dustin Hoffman to their Anne Bancroft and Katherine Ross? I've been around enough hot abusive drunk women


and misguided debutantes


to know the ropes.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to drop this quick little note to let you know I haven't forgotten you, truly do plan a new post shortly, and miss everyone.

Ciao for now, mon amis.

.

79 comments:

puerileuwaite said...

Oops! I'm not done with the photos yet, but blogger is not cooperating. So this one is "almost done".

Serena said...

Shoot, I think I'd rather have been a misguided debutante than house mother to the Craigslist masseuses, but it's all good. I can crack a whip and spot boys there's obviously something wrong with. If you need any help waterboarding those Taliban dudes, just let me know. I live to serve.:)

darkfoam said...

why oh why must it be this way, eh?


anyways, if you want a hot drunk abusive woman i can hook up with somebody i know .. she drinks till she falls down, talks your head off which is rather abusive, don't you think? i just about lost my head in despair when i listened to her drunken yammer for a couple of hours the other day .. plus, since it's so important to you .. she get's hot real easily and then glistens nicely in the sun. ... :)

ANNA-LYS said...

Miss YOU!!!!(I wear hi-heels now and then, but not in the kayak, call me a skinpanzee if you like ;-)

Enemy said...

Heathen! Apostate! Bad Guy!

Just admit it, you didn't feel like posting.

dianne said...

Thank you for the mention Puggles my sweet,I will get nakked for the Puglypaloosa celebration if that is necessary, well I've done it before havent I. ;-)

You left an 'n' out of my name in the link my sweet so it doesnt take you to my blog. :/ ♡

Little Lamb said...

Oooooooooooooooooh! a new post!

puerileuwaite said...

Serena - Why can't you be both? I get tired of JUST the massage portion anyway.

***

Foam - Ah, I see. The "classic" redirection ploy. JUST what I would expect from someone who would demand a ride home and then tempt me with her nachos.

***

Anna-Lys - Geez, lady, I wish you would have told me that "no high-heels in the kayak" tip last year. Now I'm just another harrowing episode of "I Shouldn't Be Alive!".

***

Enemy - Honest, lady! It's the "Republic" conspiring to keep me from my fans! SOMEONE needs to rise up and take action against the powers that be.

***

Dianne - Thank you. I appreciate your flexibility on at least two levels that I can presently think of. I fixed at least two types of links as well, but this is a family blog, so I can only mention the one to your blog in this reply.

***

Little Lamb - Please channel your excitement into responsible citizenship by NOT engaging in acts of arson.

boneman said...

I see I forgot to comment before when here
But clicking on links ALL OVER the WORLD! What cheer!
And all within a tight framework, I see....
(sounds like I should bring a camera with me?)

(To the Puglypaloosa, I mean,
not to catch you with your nacho Queen)

Little Lamb said...

I'll try to behave myself, I really will.

*faints*

ANNA-LYS said...

Dear Pug,
You got it!
That is my self-reflection mirrored in my post. I am sorry, I drive You nuts, I promise I will be better, when I am settle down on my new job, and in my little cave on the island. I live in a total chaos right now. Kisses!!!!!

chickory said...

i smiled when the drunken link went to foamy.

leelee said...

You know me so well...I have NO PROBLEM with coping with the heat in myriad ways..public nudity is only one..

an I love getting included in your posts...does make me feel like a special lady indeed.

HUGS 4 PUGS!

ANNA-LYS said...

"HUGS 4 PUGS"
I like that expression
feels warm and nice ;-P

puerileuwaite said...

Boneman - Sorry pal, but all covert photography is strictly the responsibility of the management. I learned that from the immortal Chuck Berry.

***

Little Lamb - Oh no! It appears you have fainted. I'd better take you to a quiet secluded place until you regain consciousness. I'd hate for someone (else) to take advantage of you in that condition.

***

Anna-Lys - Well if there is anything we have learned from others over the years, caves are a soothing influence. Whether we are discussing Osama Bin Laden or Japanese soldiers who have no clue the war is long over, there is a palpable calming effect.

In fact, I would like to visit your cave at least once after you move in. I shall bring wine, candles and a CD of Zamfir playing his pan flute as mood setters.

***

Chickory - The "drunk lady" link was a tough prize for this crowd, so in fairness I had to go with my first impulse. And there was Foamy at the head of the jello shooter line.

***

Leelee - Well in that case, I'd better make sure my furnace is in good condition. I'd hate to have to make any more excuses for a faulty pilot light.

***

Anna-Lys - I like it too. Just don't feel like your arms and legs have to stay "north of the equator". There's a rain forest, giant religious statue, and all other kinds of exotic delights to discover.

leelee said...

Pug your the BEST!

HUGS 4 PUGS....I do like the sound of that too ;-)

..................... said...

jello shooters, eh? .. lol ..
next time i come across any i might just have to try one..

Serena said...

If you have no problem with me doing both, I certainly don't. It'll be double the fun for moi.:)

Helene said...

Oh good... I thought there was something REALLY wrong with you! lol

Hope that work being busy IS a good thing!

Little Lamb said...

What is that you're doing, Pug?

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - I prefer the feel of that.

***

Foam - (She stated "innocently")

***

Serena - We'd better hurry, then. Nasty rumor has it that Craigslist is getting rid of their "Erotic Services" category.

***

Helene - Something "really wrong with me"? Not in my opinion, lady. (And who cares about everybody else's opinion anyway?)

And yes, being busy at work is a GREAT thing these days. Anyone who still has employment is indeed VERY fortunate. I suppose "W" didn't leave a COMPLETELY "nuculer" (as he would eloquently say) economic wasteland in his wake, after all.

***

Lamby - There can be no secrets between us. Except what I do. And practically everything else.

Little Lamb said...

You weren't assaulting me, though. You treated me like a lady. You kept your paws off me.

leelee said...

me too!

HUGS 4 PUGS

cathy said...

Once a month sounds about right to me.

dianne said...

You must be very busy at whatever you do my sweet, dont work too hard.

Dont go disappearing into that cave with Anna-Lys for too long now, all of your other girls need you too. ;-)

Hugs for Pugs does feel nice. ♡

Helene said...

hi

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - I went with the hunch that you never want my paws on you. It may prove difficult, but thy will be done.

***

Leelee - Then it's agreed we shall only use the Braille Method to communicate when we finally meet.

***

Cathy - Sorry, but I need to see the full moon WAY more often than that.

***

Dianne - Too late for that, I'm afraid. I'm a slave to work, when I want to be a slave to love.

No worries about the cave. This Pug - along with the Dixie Chicks - needs "Wide Open Spaces".

In the interim, the Pug-Hug Conga Line forms to the right.

***

Helene - In Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.

leelee said...

Everyone likes HUGS 4 PUGS

(perhaps I could do T-shirts and/or bumperstickers!)

In the interim..I will lie awake at nights awaiting our Braille meeting

H 4 P

Little Lamb said...

That means I'm safe with you. shhh, don't tell anyone.

ANNA-LYS said...

Will he be on my island???????

ANNA-LYS said...

btw I don't think he has a kayak, does he?

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Aside from the freebies for yours truly, we could make a fortune! Then you could FINALLY afford me.

***

Lamby - Of COURSE it's safe with me! Would I lead you astray? In fact, our first night together would conform to the three inch no touch rule, strictly adhered to as we consume hard candy and watch "Marathon Man" (THE ultimate "safe" viewing choice).

***

Anna-Lys - He could be anywhere there is a fresh supply of free towels. And if he does have a kayak, you may want to consider purchasing a drill.

..................... said...

huggies 4 pugs??? ..
poor dear ..
i didn't know you were incontinent ...

Serena said...

"Hurry" isn't a word I really like to hear. Makes me just a wee bit nervous.:)

Sassy Blondie said...

What exactly makes me misguided, my precious? Stop working as hard as me...it would seem that people miss your posting. Now give me lil kiss and I'll be on my way...must get back to work, you see.

(plus typing on this iPhone is difficult)

Sassy Blondie said...

What exactly makes me misguided, my precious? Stop working as hard as me...it would seem that people miss your posting. Now give me lil kiss and I'll be on my way...must get back to work, you see.

(plus typing on this iPhone is difficult)

Little Lamb said...

You are a sweet pug, aren't you?

Enemy of the Republic said...

Thought of you today. Don't know why, nor do I remember the thought. But please know that you were thought of.

NYD said...

Actually I am relieved that there is no new post. I dropped by to reassure myself that all is mundane and steady.

Thank you for your assistance

P.s. I were a true infidel then I would have to accept the assassination assignment that some aspiring fundamentalist leader would request.
What the hell am I talking about???
I don't know- I just wanted to type words with "ass" in them.

Sassafrass!

dianne said...

I saw your comments over at Boneman's blogs Puggles my sweet, very funny, they made me laugh.

Good to see you back, I hope you are OK and havent been working too hard.♡

puerileuwaite said...

Foam - I prefer to think of myself as "INTERcontinent", thank you very much.

***

Serena - Think of it as "quality instead of quantity".

***

Sassy - You have an iPhone? Please buy me one. That way we can text each other while we are working. And don't tell me you can't afford it.

***

Lamby - Yes I am. Now where's my damned doggie treat?!

***

Enemy - Um ... okay.

***

NYD - Well then I am about to upset your apple cart with a flurry of posts so profound, that life as we currently know it will soon be a distant, fading memory.

Your assassination assignment is to go back in time and rub out the following:

1) the first rapper;
2) the first idiot to wear and alarm clock around their neck* (* may be the same moron as #1);
3) the jerkoff who invented the "backup warning beeper" for forklifts, backhoes and other industrial machinery;
4) "W"'s grandfather;
5) the dumbass who recommended Texas for statehood;
6) the cop who arrested Ozzy for pissing on the Alamo;
7) the stylist who designed Donald Trump's toupee;
8) the person responsible for "Fritos Honey BBQ flavored twists";
9) Jon and Kate, minus the 8;
10) everyone who voted for Rob Blagojevich (even if they voted for someone else and their vote was altered)in the first place.

That is all for now. Other assignments to follow, Black Mambo.

***

Diane - You have NO idea. But FINALLY I have a little break in the action (also known as the "eye of the hurricane"), so I'm getting ready to launch my "comeback tour".
XOXOX

Little Lamb said...

here's a dog biscuit.

darkfoam said...

just pulling those little pug leggies, puerileuwaite ..
anyways .. in these times it's better to be too busy with work .. then being on, what my friends are starting to call, extended leave ..

dianne said...

Puggles my sweet, there is an award for you over at my blog. ♡

Anonymous said...

just when
you thot it safe
to go back into the blogs

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Lambycakes - Could I have some lambycakes instead of that biscuit?

***

Foam - Ain't THAT the truth. Not a day goes by that I don't count my blessings, even if work has put the kibosh on my blogging in recent times.

***

Dianne - Thank you very much for the award. You are very sweet!
XOXOX

***

/t. - If there's ONE thing (and probably ONLY that one thing) I've learned, it's that it's NEVER safe to go back into the blogs. Swimming in the ocean with bleeding cuts is the safer option.

***

PUGLYPALOOSA IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!!!

leelee said...

wooo hooooo...I've got my halter top and denim shorts and fringed boots ready!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

HUGS 4 PUGS!

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - You always know how to dress perfectly for the occasion! Me? I can't find a thing to wear, except for my Dwight Yoakam hat, sleeveless denim shirt, chaps and thong.

Anyhoo, I *plan* to get this baby off the ground tomorrow, so I hope to see you (and everyone) there!

Helene said...

I am waiting...

humph...

I know theres a funny Pug blog coming soon...

isnt there??????

Little Lamb said...

lamby cakes?

Enemy of the Republic said...

I can't remember if I have commented here. Gosh, you must hate me!

Anonymous said...

pug, buddy

this is the same
quick note we've been
reading here for two months

in dog months, it's more than a year -- this is appalling even by pug standards

/t.

dianne said...

I hope you are OK Puggles my sweet and not working too hard, just popped over to say Hi and tell you that you're missed. ♡

leelee said...

Ok...your way more behind in posts than I...my last (until today) was June 11....I don't feel so bad now..

Miss ya puggles

HUGS 4 PUGS!

puerileuwaite said...

I'm going to cheat this time with just one quick reply, instead of my usual individual shout outs.

Thanks for continuing to stop by and for your comments. I had not intended to take this almost 3-month sabbatical; it simply turned out to be the case.

And I am eager to return in order to finally launch the long-anticipated and possibly dreaded "Puglypaloosa"!!!

So thanks again for your support and patience, and stay tuned ...

The giant Lilliputian said...

Glad to see that the pup is still barking!

foam said...

maybe you should just plan on having a winter puglapathingie ..

Serena said...

When, Pugsley? When? I'm not getting any younger, you know.

boneman said...

(a quick note to my loyal readers...)

Well, that was last May (a day after Cinco de Mayo. (wasn't his brother Groucho de Mayo? and Harpo de Mustard?)

I just read a translation of the word "Meow"
and it says that it means "woof"....
Hmmmm.
Maybe that's right.

Sassy Blondie said...

Wherefore art thou, Pugsly??

boneman said...

well, I found out why you're not posting new stuff.
Busy...HA!

You're walking across country!
http://www.cougarconvention.com/
(hey, it must be real because they have their own website, right?

('Course, I don't know where you live, but, heck. You're the Pug!
If it was San Francisco, it would still take you a while!)

sorry...couldn't help myself.
d=))

Anonymous said...

hmm,
déjà vu...

this is strangely similar
to a quick note i once read
IN A PREVIOUS LIFETIME!!!

hope yr well

/t.

dianne said...

I hope you are OK Puggles my sweet, its been awfully quiet over here and you are missed...I hope you arent working too hard, you have to have some leisure time? ♡ xoxo

darkfoam said...

i know, i know ..
pug is busy with his plethora of grandkids this summer ..!!
that surely would keep an old pug busy ..

Serena said...

I think I'm starting to channel Barbara Lewis. Seems like a mighty looooong tiiime ... she-bop, she-bop...;)

puerileuwaite said...

Giant - If The Brady Bunch can "keep on, keep on dancing", then I certainly can keep on barking. Especially when it most disburbs tranquility and the neighbors.

***

Foam - Excellent suggestion! What do you say we split the difference, and opt for a fall Puglypaloosa?

***

Serena - Alas, that may be true, but at least you are now nice and ripe.

***

Boneman - Funny you should mention Cinco de Mayo ... WHO KNEW Tijuana would be so tough to escape after the festival? Remind me to write about it sometime.

***

Sassy - Wherever an intoxicated blonde is in need of trusting assistance, that is where I shall be. Or at least under her balcony while she's undressing. Either place.

***

Boneman - And what a sham that was! Not a SINGLE Ford product in the entire convention hall. Nor was ANYONE a BYU alum. Geez. Did I feel used.

***

/t. - Who knew? I certainly didn't. But summer is coming to a close, and it's time to turn my attention back to promises delayed. Thanks.

***

Dianne - Thank you, and the feeling is mutual. It shall be good to be back.

BTW, ANY work for me is "working too hard". I was meant to be a trust fund Pug. So let me know if you find any trust funds in need of a custodian.

***

Foam - Grandkids? Why must you always hurt the one you love? I'll chalk it up to feelings of abondonment and neglect. But I'm back now, so let the healing begin.

***

Serena - Hello stranger! I actually have had that tune in my iPod! But I get the hint.

Helene said...

you dog you! that mind of yours is always in the gutter! lmao

Nice to see your name pop up in a comment... looks like you are about as inspired as I am with regard to the posting...

Hope you had a great summer!

Shweta Tiwari said...

just too good..read ur few posts..they are simply awesome..

puerileuwaite said...

Helena - I'm still alive AND employed, so YES(!), it HAS been a GREAT summer. Wasn't too great for blogging, though. However my batteries are almost fully charged and ready for my Elvis-style comeback!

Now ... where did I put my white, sequined jump suit? That thing seems to simply disappear into the upholstery every darned time ...

***

Shweta - Thank you very much for your kind words. I am delighted that you enjoyed your visit, and would like to welcome you to my humble(?) blog.

puerileuwaite said...

Helene - BTW, I have decided to refer to you as "Helena" on occasion (perhaps even "Helen of Troy", as the situation warrants ... which I am sure will often be the case ...)

;-)

boneman said...

Wednesday, May 06, 2009
A Quick Note To My Loyal Readers

.

Hi Everybody,

So sorry for the delay. I'm not going to lie to you (this time). I could make up some elaborate and exotic excuse as to why I've been able to post only once a month, ....well, now, just a cotton pickin' minute!
We're nigh on four months later, and for old farts like me that's a heckuva long time!
(How old are you, boneman? Well, since you asked...who else but old folks use the word nigh?)
Yes, I added it up.
It's a third of a year.
Heck, it's danged near TWO YEARS for DOGS!

Then again, I believe the magic words were, you have work.
In this day and age, that IS more important than wandering around on the internet lifting legs on aloof cats that are busy cleaning themselves.
(my own dogs say that this is a fun hobby of theirs.)

(wait a minute... why IS my leg wet?)
MAX! TUG!
boy... when I catch those beggars!

cathy said...

you always make me feel so much better about neglecting my blog.

Aunty Belle said...

mercy, PW,
this is a case of serious blog neglect!

Reckon ya have one heck of a real life goin' on...hehee!

Serena said...

Are you aware that it's now nearly the end of September, my dear puppy? Just sayin'.;)

Anonymous said...

OK

just checking

i had this strange feeling
that something had changed in the world,
but a quick visit here confirms my fears are groundless

thanks again, buddy

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Boneman - There is not a blog or post I won't ignore for the opportunity to pee on cats and old-timers!

***

Cathy - I can also make you feel better about neglecting your morals, so please bear that in mind.

***

Aunty Belle - Yes, unfortunately I DO have one heck of a real life going on. PLEASE make it stop.

***

Serena - Good point. It IS late September, and I really should be back in school. And blogging too, I suppose. I'll also laugh at all of your jokes, and see if I can get your love without needing to coax. Thanks for reminding me, "Maggie May".

***

/t. - You are very observant. With my new post, the world is indeed spinning at 78-RPM's once again.

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