Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Hello and Welcome!


Welcome. Let the de-programming begin.

Having a chronic interest in self-improvement, by virtue of my own motivation and the advice of numerous so-called "friends", I have perpetually been on the prowl for the "holy grail of personal growth books". THE book. Both life transformer and spiritual awakener. Emitting a modest but confident aura of positive energy from its humble perch next to the latest Ortho "Garden Trellises and Gazebos" tome in the Costco hardcover section.

Here's where I'm at right now.

My current read is "The Art of Happiness", an introductory interpretation of the Dalai Lama's teachings for those of us whose were raised in the western hemisphere. I am enjoying it. And I WANT to believe. It certainly "appears" that converting the multitudes into new streams of revenue (other than through book royalties, perhaps) are unlikely motives.

I do think that a Buddist theme park could be the coolest - or possibly the lamest - new concept in family entertainment. "Make me one with everything" hot dog stands and those leashes for invisible dogs would be two of the more obvious offerings. Refunds would exist only if you believe that they do.

But then my alter ego (Mr. Cynical) puts in his unsolicited 2-cents: what if this is all part of an elaborate and unnecessary hoax, carefully crafted in order to justify wearing a robe and sitting around all day? Then it dawned on me: put a television (tuned to one of the ESPN channels) in front of him, add some facial hair and body odor, and you now are looking at my cousin Mike.

I don't mean to disparage the Dalai Lama.

What if we do have it all wrong? What if we've been conditioned to believe that change must first come from within, when in fact the opposite may be true?

What if we must first confront and eliminate the insanities that exist in our daily lives, so that our true selves can - for the first time - emerge into a congruent state with a just and sensible world?

Did the world morph over time from the ideal to the absurd? Or has it always been this way?

I wonder. Would Ernest Hemmingway be able to comprehend the intricacies and dramas of an indoor mega-mall?

What would F. Scott Fitzgerald think of eHarmony?

Would Herman Melville start a blog?

Would anyone continue to follow it after the first installment? How about after the post where he describes all of the different types of whales?

The possibilities are intriguing.

For your homework assignment, I would like your responses to the following (supporting pictures and/or links are welcomed) questions:

1) Which enlightenment books would you like Costco to offer?

2) Which attractions would lure you to a Buddist theme park? Why?

3) Which daily insanity bothers you the most?

4) Who are the famous authors, politicians (or other notables) from the past would you like to see coping with incongruent present-day situations? Please describe.

Thank you so much for being here with me as I attempt to get this baby "off the ground". I look forward to hearing from you.

- puerileuwaite


doggerelblogger said...

I would like to see Plato shopping at Costco for the latest enlightenment self-help tome while wearing a pair of Wheelies.

Can this be arranged?

puerileuwaite said...

Consider it done, doggerelblogger. Berkeley Costco, 7PM, next Tuesday (This one's easy, as I sorta look like Plato. *sigh*).

Thanks for the post, my first!

Paula said...

Welcome to the blog world! You should maybe, um, make your homework assignments shorter;)

I like the way you write.

puerileuwaite said...

pj, thank you for your post. And the kind words.

You're right ... too much homework. One of two things that I would have done differently (blog title is another, though I go back and forth on that one).

I always wanted to be a writer, and almost took that career path, but chickened out at the last minute. So this cheesy blog of mine represents a second chance, I suppose.

Party Girl said...

Oh, you're fun.

I can only think of answers for number 3 and 4 right now.

#3: Sit in a clean, fresh water shallow pond/lake with personal waterfall that I can sit under, swim in and enjoy at my lesiure. (Notice the, clean, part of that comment. No peeing.)

...The hot dog stand sounds good too, though.

#4: People who don't know how to leave a proper phone message when calling a place of buiness. Or, those who don't know how to properly talk on the phone when talking to someone at a place of business. I truly feel a remedial course in, "How to leave a proper phone message," should be offered.

I would be willing to teach it.

Thanks for stopping by and for your words. I look forward to seeing you again and to reading your posts.

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you PG. Somewhat ironic that the party girl has submitted the most homework so far. That ain't natural.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Homework! LOL

1) Which enlightenment books would you like Costco to offer?
"How to avoid the 'en-lightenment' of the contents of your wallet in a wharehouse store."

2) Which attractions would lure you to a Buddist theme park? Why?
Chocolate- I like chocolate-

3) Which daily insanity bothers you the most?
Checking my email- looking for a reply from someone who NEVER writes back!

4) Who are the famous authors, politicians (or other notables) from the past would you like to see coping with incongruent present-day situations? Please describe.
General MacArthur in I need to really explain?

puerileuwaite said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
puerileuwaite said...

Oops, I had missed grading a question. Those who can't teach write blogs, I suppose ...

Fair Mayden,

All I can say is THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Just as I had lost all hope, here you are with a completed (and a very well done) homework assignment.

Let's grade it, shall we?

1) Excellent (and realistically painful) answer. As enlightened as I strive to be, my kryptonite will always be well-served puns. BTW, My only defense is to stay out of these stores [25/25 points].

2) Not sure where Buddists stand (actually, they seem to SIT more)on chocolate. (Now there's an image ... a monk perched on top of a Hershey's bar! I am such a heretic!) But since I'm still meandering my way through the book that I mentioned (I do a lot of reading in parallel), I shall be vigilant for a ruling on chocolate. My instincts say that it IS a form of needless self-gratification, and - though it is a socially-acceptable form - it is gratification nonetheless. I may be able to obtain a waiver for dark chocolate, since it does purportedly have health benefits. Concerning your grade, as I am personally addicted, I chose to give full credit for your answer [25/25 points].

3) I agree with the email answer, and would like to add anything correspondence-wise that is promised (phone call, fax, package, mail, [25/25 points]

4) I'm more of a Patton guy, but I totally see where you were going with this one, so [25/25 points].

Finally, 10-additional extra credit points are awarded for your diligence [110/110 total points]. Well done! A+

Congratulations, MV, you have made the Honor Roll. That's the spirit!