Thursday, March 22, 2007

Beware the Ideas of March: Custom On-Hold Music

Hi everybody!

By this point, you're probably all "Bermuda Triangled" out, and might be ready for yours truly to disappear into the great beyond if he mentions the subject again (Oops! I just did ...). So I thought I'd switch gears and share my ideas on a vastly different topic; one that I've been ruminating on, as I wonder why things are the way they are.

I had an epiphany (I would've preferred "Tiffany", but I couldn't locate the mall she's singing at): we need to do much better in one key area of civilization: "On-Hold" and background music. Now if you're like me (and who isn't?), you'll listen to the occasional tune and think, "THIS would be the perfect background song for ___________".

So here goes. I've opened the phonebook and am targetting the major industries that require my help (and yours ... well, SOME of you ...).

Accountants

You Never Give Me Your Money by The Beatles
Welcome To My Nightmare by Alice Cooper
Take The Money and Run by The Steve Miller Band
Money by The Beatles
Rambling Gambling Man by Bob Seger
Mony Mony by Tommy James and the Shondells

Acupuncturists

I Bleed by The Pixies
Under Pressure by Queen

Air-Conditioning

Cool Jerk by The Go Go's

Airlines

Crash by The Dave Matthews Band

Arson Hotline

We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel
Let's Get It Started by The Black-Eyed Peas
Fire of Unknown Origin by Blue Oyster Cult
Fire Woman by The Cult
Hot Fun in the Summertime by Sly and the Family Stone
Fire by The Ohio Players
Cities On Flame With Rock and Roll by Blue Oyster Cult
Burnin' For You by Blue Oyster Cult
Fire Lake by Bob Seger
Fire Down Below by Bob Seger
Light My Fire by The Doors
Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones
Puttin' Out Fire With Gasoline by David Bowie
Oops! I Did It Again! by Britney Spears
Pictures of Matchstick Men by Camper Van Beethoven
Eternal Flame by The Bangles
Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing by Chris Isaac
If You Love Someone, Set Them On Fire by The Dead Milkmen
Start a Fire by Graham Parker
Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple
Disco Inferno by The Trammps
Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
Cities In Dust by Siouxie and the Banshees
Burning Down One Side by Robert Plant
Fire by Jimi Hendrix
Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil
Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas
That Smell by Lynryd Skynyrd

Attorneys

Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia by Vicki Lawrence
Slippery People by Talking Heads

Bail Bonds

Set Me Free by The Kinks

Beauty Salons

Beautiful Loser by Bob Seger
Lola by The Kinks

Closets

Found Out About You by The Gin Blossoms

Coaching

Touch Too Much by AC/DC
(anything by Judy Garland)

Consultants

I Loved You So I Told You a Lie by Ted Nugent
Do The Brown Nose by The Dead Milkmen
Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin

Cruise Lines

Ship of Fools by Robert Plant
Love on the Rocks by Neil Diamond
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot
Sloop John B by The Beach Boys

Dairies

Maggie's Farm by Bob Dylan
Junior's Farm by Wings
Sex Farm by Spinal Tap

Dance

Dancin' Fool by Frank Zappa
I'm So Tired by The Beatles
Dancing In The Dark by Bruce Springsteen
When You Dance, I Can Really Love by Neil Young
Shake Your Hips by The Rolling Stones

Dating Services

I Hear You Knocking by Dave Edmunds
Who Can It Be Now? by Men At Work
Love is Like Oxygen by The Sweet
Give a Little Bit by Supertramp
Lady by Styx
Submission by the Sex Pistols
Another Piece of Meat by The Scorpions
Crying by Roy Orbison
Slave to Love by Roxy Music
Sympathy For The Devil by The Rolling Stones
When the Whip Comes Down by The Rolling Stones
I Didn't Mean To Turn You On by Robert Palmer
Super Freak by Rick James
That Ain't Love by REO Speedwagon
Creep by Radiohead
Breaking the Girl by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
I Got a Woman by Ray Charles
Sheep by Pink Floyd
Don't Sleep In The Subway by Petula Clarke
Big Time by Peter Gabriel
People by Barbara Streisand
Fire and Ice by Pat Benetar
Promises in the Dark by Pat Benetar
Goodbye to Romance by Ozzy Ozbourne
Don't Speak by No Doubt
Cracklin' Rosie ny Neil Diamond
Turning Japanese by The Vapors
Hair of the Dog by Nazareth
These Boots Were Made For Walkin' by Nancy Sinatra
Girls Girls Girls by Motley Crue
Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye
What's Your Name? by Lynryd Skynyrd
Good Girls Don't by The Knack
Love or Confusion by Jimi Hendrix

Day Care

Pretty Baby by Blondie
Baby Come Back by Player (courtesy of The Simpsons)
Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan
Runaway by Del Shannon
Runaway by Bonnie Raitt
She's a Runaway by Bon Jovi
Run Away by Jefferson Starship
Touch Me by The Doors
My Baby Left Me by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Little Creatures by Talking Heads
Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon by Neil Diamond
Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground
Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter by Herman's Hermits

Drug Testing

You Can't Catch Me by Chuck Berry
Piss On The Wall by the J. Geils Band
The River by Bruce Springsteen
Purple Rain by Prince

Funeral Homes

Alive Again by Chicago
(Don't Fear) The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
Can't Find My Way Back Home by Blind Faith
Alive by Pearl Jam
If You Leave Me Now by Chicago
Tombstone Shadow by Creedence Clearwater Revival
That'll Be The Day by Buddy Holly
Into the Great Wide Open by Tom Petty
Don't Take Me Alive by Steeely Dan
Goodbye to You by Scandal
She's Not There by Santana
Take Me With U by Prince
Can't Stand Losing You by The Police
So Lonely by The Police
Enter Sandman by Metallica

Marriage Counseling

No Woman, No Cry by Bob Marley
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? by Nirvana
Stir It Up by Bob Marley
You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi
Miracles by Jefferson Starship
If You Loved Me, You'd Let Me Go by Huey Lewis and the News
Just When I Needed You Most by Bread
Love Is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar
Just The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby and the Range
Nobody But You by Lou Reed and John Cale
Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen
Never There by Cake
Goodbye to Love by The Carpenters
Victim of Love by The Eagles
Victim of Love by The Cars
I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick
Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen
Wicked Game by Chris Isaac
Maybelline by Chuck Berry
Devil Woman by Cliff Richard
Before You Accuse Me by Creedence Clearwater Revival
You're Not the Boss of Me by They Might Be Giants
Girlfriend is Better by Talking Heads
Promises, Promises by The Thompson Twins
Baby, Please Don't Go by Them
Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp
Haitian Divorce by Steely Dan
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
It's All Over Now by The Rolling Stones
She's So Cold by The Rolling Stones
This Old Heart of Mine by Rod Stewart
You've lost That Lovin' Feelin' by The Righteous Brothers
What'd I Say by Ray Charles
Cruel To Be Kind by Nick Lowe
You Don't Bring Me Flowers by Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond

Massage

Don't Touch Me There by The Tubes
Touch Me In the Morning by Petula Clarke
(You've Got) The Magic Touch by The Platters
I Have the Touch by Peter Gabriel
Shock the Monkey by Peter Gabriel

Mental Health Services

Don't Bring Me Down by The Animals
She Talks To Angels by The Black Crowes
Can't Find My Way Home by Blind Faith
Crazy by Patsy Cline (courtesy of The Simpsons)
Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow by The Soggy Bottom Boys
The Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson
If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow
Up! by Shania Twain
Fool to Cry by The Rolling Stones
Happy by The Rolling Stones
Everybody Hurts by REM
Busload of Faith by Lou Reed
Knock Me Down by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Shiny Happy People by REM
Stop Your Sobbing by The Pretenders
Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd
Trouble by Pink
Nobody's Fault But Mine by Led Zeppelin
Friends by Led Zeppelin
Crazy Train by Ozzy Ozbourne
How Bizarre by OMC
Bark at the Moon by Ozzy Ozbourne
It's My Life by No Doubt
Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue
Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai

Motels

Papa Loved Mama by Garth Brooks
Lovers In a Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn
Prove It All Night by Bruce Springsteen
Anticipation by Carly Simon
Double Life by The Cars
Lust For Kicks by The Cars
You're All I've Got Tonight by The Cars
Stay the Night by Chicago
Too Much Money Business by Chuck Berry
Let's Go To Bed by The Cure
Everybody Wants Some! by Van Halen
Love In Action by Todd Rundgren
Waterfalls by TLC
Stop! In the Name of Love by The Supremes
Stray Cat Strut by The Stray Cats
Love the One You're With by Steven Stills
Evil Ways by Santana
Let's Spend the Night Together by The Rolling Stones
Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby? by The Rolling Stones
Love Rollercoaster by the Ohio Players
Roxanne by The Police
Since I've Been Loving You by Led Zeppelin
Hey, Hey, What Can I Do by Led Zeppelin
Gimme Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull


Movers

Get Out of This House by Shawn Colvin
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka
Time For Me To Fly by REO Speedwagon
Walk Away Renee by The Association
Gone, Gone, Gone by Bad Company
She Caught the Katy by The Blues Brothers
Should I Stay Or Should I Go by The Clash

Paintball Supplies

I'm a Loser by The Beatles
Deadbeat Club by The B-52's
War Pigs by Black Sabbath
The Continuing Story of Bungalo Bill by The Beatles

Penis Enlargement

Big Shot by Billy Joel
Is that All There Is? by Brenda Lee
Just a Little Is Enough by Peter Townsend
One Tin Soldier (from the movie "Billy Jack")

Pharmacies

Love Is The Drug by Roxy Music
White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane
Remedy by The Black Crowes
Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi
Toxic by Britney Spears
Haven't Got Time For The Pain by Carly Simon
She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult
Don't Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty
Get Off My Cloud by The Rolling Stones
Mother's Little Helper by The Rolling Stones
No-No Song by Ringo Starr
Lithium by Nirvana
Dr. Feel Good by Motley Crue
Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce

Planned Parenthood

Too Many People by Paul McCartney

Schools

I Don't Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats
Bad Boys Get Spanked by The Pretenders
School's Out by Alice Cooper
Imaginary Lover by Atlanta Rhythm Section
Maggie May by Rod Stewart
Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn
Don't Stand So Close To Me by The Police
Bang a Gong (Get It On) by T-Rex
Smokin' In The Boys' Room by Brownsville Station
Hot For Teacher by Van Halen
School by Supertramp
(She's) Sexy and 17 by The Stray Cats
My Old School by Steely Dan
Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkle
Schools Are Prisons by the Sex Pistols
To Sir With Love by Lulu
Teacher by Jethro Tull
Harper Valley PTA by Jeannie C. Riley

Sex Change Clinics

She's Always a Woman by Billy Joel
Found Out About You by The Gin Blossoms
She's Got Everything by The Romantics
The Perfect Girl by The Cure
Girl Don't Tell Me by The Beach Boys
Something in the Way by Nirvana
Maneater by Hall and Oates
You Better Hang Up by Don Henley
Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel
Tell Her About It by Billy Joel
Where's the Dress? by Brooks and Dunn
Then He Kissed Me by The Chiffons
Boys Don't Cry by The Cure
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndie Lauper
Growing On Me by The Darkness
Changes by David Bowie
Rebel Rebel by David Bowie
Natural Thing by UFO
Here Comes My Girl by Tom Petty
I'd Love to Change the World by Ten Years After
Hurt So Bad by Linda Ronstadt
Man! I Feel Like a Woman! by Shania Twain (also suitable for Prisons)
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart
Hot Legs by Rod Stewart
Here Comes Your Man by The Pixies
Wave of Mutilation by The Pixies
Get the Party Started by Pink
When a Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge
Evenflow by Pearl Jam
Just a Girl by No Doubt
Longfellow's Serenade by Neil Diamond
Down Under by Men At Work
Ohh! My Head by Richie Valens
Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz
What Is And What Should Never Be by Led Zeppelin
Moby Dick by Led Zeppelin
Wang Dang Doodle by Koko Taylor
Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas
Any Way You Want It by Journey
A Boy Named Sue by johnny Cash
Thick As a Brick by Jethro Tull
Uptown Girl by Billy Joel
You Keep Me Hangin' On by The Supremes

Shoe Stores

Fairies Wear Boots by Black Sabbath

Spas

Every Breath You Take by The Police
Private Eyes by Hall and Oates
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot

Supermarkets

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2
Lost In The Supermarket by The Clash
Green Onions by Booker T and the MGs

Tanning Salons

Sweet Leaf by Black Sabbath
Horizontal Bop by Bob Seger
Bad Moon Risin' by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes
A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harem

Towing

Don't Follow by Alice In Chains
You Keep Me Hangin' On by The Supremes
Gimme Some Slack by The Cars
Cruiser by The Cars
Stuck In a Rut by The Darkness
Cruisin' by Smoky Robinson
Can't Get There From Here by REM

***

Congratulations! You are now cursed to walk the Earth, remembering these tunes (and looking like an idiot with that smirk) as you enter the aformentioned establishments.

.

62 comments:

puerileuwaite said...

(This oughta keep you busy ...)

/t. said...

This Blog

Brain Salad Surgery
- Emerson Lake & Palmer

The Road To Hell
- Chris Rea

Why
- Annie Lennox

/t.

It's Me, Maven... said...

Hmmm, a few you neglected:

SEX CHANGE CLINICS: She's got balls, AC/DC;

UROLOGISTS: Why does it hurt when I pee, by Frank Zappa; Short Dick Man, by 20 Fingers; Big Balls, by AC/DC; Got you by the balls, AC/DC; Ball Breaker, by AC/DC; Be Stiff, by Devo; Wiggly World, by Devo;

GYNECOLOGIST/PROCTOLOGIST: My neck, my back, by Khia; Deep in the hole, by AC/DC; Sink the Pink, by AC/DC; Stiff Upper Lip, by AC/DC; Scratch and Sniff, by Stevie Ray Vaughan

FUNERAL HOMES: I grieve, by Peter Gabriel; Little Boxes, by Pete Seeger; Please Mr. Gravedigger, by David Bowie; We are the dead, by David Bowie;

SPERM BANKS: Cool Jerk, by the Go Gos; Whip It, by Devo; When I think of you, I touch myself, by The Divinyls; Beating around the bush, by AC/DC; Hands of Seduction, by Billy Squire; Main Vein, by Jamiroquai; The Harder They Come, by Jamiroquai

FOTOMAT: Photographs and Memories, by Jim Croce; Photograph, by Def Lepard; Centerfold, by J. Giles;

LIFE GUARD: The Tide is High, by Blondie;

EPILEPTIC SUPPORT LINE: You shook me all night long, AC/DC; Nervous shakedown, by AC/DC; Can't stand still, by AC/DC

INSOMNIAC SUPPORT LINE: This City Doesn't Sleep, by the Eurythmics; All Night Long, by Lionel Ritchie

COPD SUPPORT LINE: Just Breathe, by Kenny Loggins,

THE HAIR CLUB FOR MEN: Give me back my wig, by Stevie Ray Vaughan

MEXICAN DONKEY SHOW: Why do girls love horses, by Adam Ant


Perhaps I've said too much?

puerileuwaite said...

Oh Lord, what have I done ...

***

/t. - Looks like somebody's "Jealous Again".

***

Maven - Uh oh. I may have met my match: my "Annie Oakley" of the blogsphere, if you will. Well in that case ... "Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything* (* lewd acts excepted) better than you. (Actually now that I think about it ... no I can't ...).

***

cathy said...

What have you done indeed !

BAIL BONDS: Hold Me Loosely.
CRUISELINES: Don't Rock The Boat
FUNERAL HOMES: Long Time Gone,
Stairway To Heaven,
Spirit in The Sky.
MARRIAGE COUNSELLING:
Take Me As I Am Or Let Me Go
Everything That I Hate
MASSAGE: Loving,Touching Squeezing
MENTAL HEALTH: Paranoid
MOVERS: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
Penis enlargement: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!
SCHOOLS:Smokin' in The Boys' Room
Hit Me With Your Rythmn Stick.
I'm going to stop now before my nose starts bleeding.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, lookie here, a new post. It's a good one, too. I'm going to have to think a little about additions to the lists. I'd add 'Lawyers in Love' to the Lawyers category. I have to thaw my brain out a bit to think about any more.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Nice cut-&-paste job.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Did you have one on penis enlargement? I thought of Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Let's see--Marriage Counseling: I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers,Rid of Me by P.J. Harvey Lawyers-
Criminal by Fiona Apple, Escort Services: I'm a Loser by Beck, Loverman by Nick Cave/Bad Seeds
The Right Stuff by Brian Ferry...oops, dinner is here. I shall return.

To reply to /t: This Blog: Bliss by Tori Amos.

Love you, Pug.

Little Lamb said...

You must have worked on this one a long time.

Scary Monster said...

Here be me additions to your fabulous list. Awesome post here pug.

Accountants:
Back in black~AC/DC
Acupuncturists:
Needles and Pins~The Searchers
Air-Conditioning:
So Cold~Breaking Benjamin
Airlines/Pilots
Leaving on a jet plane
Travel agents:
Goin down the road feelin bad~ GD
ticket to ride Beatles
Schools:
Rock and roll high school~the Ramones.
Rubbish removal
That Smell~Lynryd Skynyrd
Tanning Salons:
You are my sunshine
Working girls:
Love in an elevator~Aerosmith

This Blog:
Puppy Love~Paul Anka

STOMPALOHA
The Monster Mash

puerileuwaite said...

Cathy - Great additions. That's the spirit!

***

Serena- If anyone is capable of coming up with good ones, it's you. I made it challenging by listing as many as I could think of.

***

Mighty D - I'll take that as a compliment. It's original, baby! (Granted, I'm sure the concept - as a blogging topic - isn't. But the material - except a couple, where noted - is all mine. Cutting and pasting would've been way too cheesy even by my standards.)

***

Enemy - More good ones. I was hoping my buds would embrace the concept and run with it. Thanks for the sentiment (blushing). Love back at you.

***

Lamby - I did. I'd been wanting to do it, and as you can see, I got carried away. I selected numerous categories from the phone book, and then combed through my iTunes. I worked on this one over a couple of days.

***

Scary - Even more great additions. I knew I'd missed some really excellent ones. Thanks buddy.

***

(p.s. - /t.'s selections are STILL killing me!)

Enemy of the Republic said...

Here's another: Wedding Planners: Ring of Fire--The Man in Black,
I Walk the Line--The Man in Black
Folsom Prison Blues--The Man in Black.

cathy said...

Now this post really could keep going 999,999.can't wait to see what serena joy comes up with.
NB. nothing wrong with the odd bit of cutting and pasting i myself often steal stuff from my brother if I want readers of my blog to share a good joke with me.Mr
" might be a dick " was it

kate said...

omg...

Is that All There Is? by Brenda Lee

I really laughed at loud this morning!! This must have kept YOU busy!!!!!!!

You are as clever as a fox!! Any relationship? *wink

puerileuwaite said...

Enemy - I like the way you think. We're like "peas and carrots". I think "our" on-hold music should be "There's a Place For Us" from West Side Story.

***

Cathy - I'm not above cutting and pasting, but give credit when I do. Again, this was done from scratch.

***

Kate - That it did. Obsession is not just a fragrance. And well, I didn't want to admit it, but "Fox On The Run" by The Sweet could apply.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I'm in agreement, Pug. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day... yeah, the brains have melded.

Scary Monster said...

Hey pug.
Me is catching the Night train or maybe hitchin a ride to the local airport. Then me gonna Fly like an eagle to the Green green grass of home and do some Surfin USA. Me figures that Me will do some Truckin around the north shore and maybe me will try Catchin a wave.
Then it's off to Margaritaville and me will find a Dancin queen.
Me will be as tired as amonster who's been Workin in a coal mine so Me will Just Me China cat sunflower back to me room and Let her Love me tender.

Me guess me just a 21st Century Schitzoid man.

There might be posts from Waikiki.
Stomp ya later, friend.

limpy99 said...

I'm trying to figure out if Nazareth's "Love Hurts" belongs under marriage counseling, motels, or free clincs. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Great post. Made me wonder yet again why The Dead Milkmen aren't in the Rock and/or Roll Hall of Fame. Thanks to Rev. Lovejoy.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Limpy: I LOVE the Dead Milkmen.

jmeped said...

What do you have for long lost lovers?

kate said...

obsession... hummmm

Animotion right??? --You are an obsession,
Youre my obsession
Who do you want me to be...

I loved that song in the day! lol

As for the fox song... never heard of it...

puerileuwaite said...

Well, I thought this one might bomb, being so verbose and all. What a pleasant surprise to see the reaction.

***

Enemy - Wasn't it refreshing to see West Side Story for the first time, and realize that you COULD be in a gang just because you could dance? Or maybe it was just me ...

***

Scary - Well in that case, watch out for them "Tiny Bubbles".

***

Limpy - I had that same quandry with a few of my selections, so I made an effort to divvy them up. Glad you liked the post. The really sick thing is that I've spent the past two days thinking of more categories for a future sequel.

And it's yet another pleasant surprise to learn that Enemy and yourself are rabid Dead Milkmen fans like yours truly.

***

Enemy - Now you're really starting to spook me out. No need for that sex change op after all, as I already know what the female version would be like (only way brainier).

***

JMEPED!!! You're back! I missed you. What the heck happened to your blog? For you? Anything you want. I was afraid to ask ... fearing the worst (I'm also concerned about Dykesdog, and hope that she's okay (if anybody knows ... email me).

***

Kate - Well, me neither, at first. But I have MUCH MUCH older siblings who turned me onto it ;-)
Does anyone else remember that song?

***

cathy said...

My cut and paste remark wasn't aimed at you. If this wasn't original you would have posted it a lot quicker.

cathy said...

Hey who else listens to music whilst blog surfing. Why haven't we got any blogging songs?!
kk I'll start...
Act Naturally(Buck Owens)
Don't lie (Black Eyed Peas)
These Are The Days of Our Lives (George Michael/Lisa stansfield)
The Way I Am (Eminem)
Love Can Build a Bridge(Westlife)

Oops gotta go to work-that's not a song it's me getting out of my pyjamas...byeee

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

hmph. accountants and nightmares in the same catagory? Methinks not!

However, you did neglect "Taxman" by the Beatles. Very timely.
xx
pink

leelee said...

k...it's now saturday and I STILL havne't finished these lists...

ok back to the grindstone...where were we???....yeah...shoe stores...I'm getting there

eccentric recluse said...

you have been a busy little pug!

do you own all these tunes? do you have them on your hard disk?

btw, you have been tagged.

kate said...

ahhhhhhhh yes... the ole "I have OLDER SIBLINGS' excuse! hehehe yea yea

Enemy of the Republic said...

Pug! You and I have both been tagged by the same blogger. Oh, I am so honored to be in your company.

gautami tripathy said...

If you want my frank opinion (and you should want it), this post is too much all at the same time. Can you break it into small packages? At least my brain can't assimilate so much info all at the same time. Not when it filled with preparing of results of my school students. If I taught like this, my kids would stop coming to school.

Nothing further to say.

BTW, you can come visit me and we can negotiate about this with tea/cakes/cookies/whatever in my kitchen..

puerileuwaite said...

Cathy - I've never heard of "Oops gotta go to work-that's not a song it's me getting out of my pyjamas". Sounds like a Country song. Okay, just teasin'. I like your idea of songs to blog by, however. I'll have to give that one some thought ...

***

Reverend - I also forgot to include "The Logical Song" by Supertramp. And let's face it: if most accountants were sexy like you, I wouldn't have to bash them (Oh, I still would ... I just wouldn't be REQUIRED to).

***

Leelee - You go, girl. I knew I could count on you to savor each and every one! And just wait until I publish the "Coffee Table Book" edition.

***

E_R - Yes, I have almost all of them on hard disk. Some are from CD, and some are from Limewire. Thanks for the tag, the shout out on your blog, and for providing the topic for my next post.

***

Kate - Excuse? Well, if bashing my (younger) generation makes you feel better, then have at it. :-) Our lifestyle of constant "Techno" and snowboarding isn't for everyone, though it's sad that it makes us a target.

***

Enemy - Likewise! Today we are two adjacent spray-painted freight cars as part of the same runaway train.

***

Gautami - I like your wicked sense of humor! Your critique is both valid and appreciated. And I did consider breaking it into multiple posts, but did not for the following reasons:

1) I see this post as more of a "reference" than a topic. So IMHO one should view it more as a companion to the Dictionary or Telephone Book, than an article. In fact, it will likely go in my sidebar as an evolving piece to (hopefully) freshen that area up a bit.

2) I didn't want to drag it out, and make my blog my tedious than it already is.

3) I wanted to take away the more obvious ones, to challenge my readers as much as possible.

4) It helps me to find out which readers have OCD (like yours truly), and torture them as well. But again, I figured most folks would quickly breeze through them and laugh at the ones that stood out.

Hopefully my logic (or lack thereof) makes some degree of sense. I'll take you up on cookies, tea and cakes in your kitchen. I'll even bring my Karaoke machine!

puerileuwaite said...

Oops. Typo alert. I meant MORE tedious ...

leelee said...

Hey, I have an idea Pugsly...

How about a coffee table book with fold out legs that actually BECOMES a coffee table?? or has that idea already been thought of...~WINK~

cathy said...

now you've done it.COUNTRY MUSIC!
CATHY'S GOING TO GET CHEESEY.
here we go blatantly stolen from ejokes, he'll forgive me.

Top 25 Country Classics

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don’t Run So I Figure We're Even. 20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.

what is it about you that entices giant comments, is it the way you wag your tail:)

cathy said...

now you've done it.COUNTRY MUSIC!
CATHY'S GOING TO GET CHEESEY.
here we go blatantly stolen from ejokes, he'll forgive me.

Top 25 Country Classics

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don’t Run So I Figure We're Even. 20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.

what is it about you that entices giant comments, is it the way you wag your tail:)

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Not in OUR version of reality, if we so choose. So how about some of our other collaborations? Such as:

The "Bro" (a bra for dudes with "man boobs");

Salad preparation while taking a shower (it's a real time saver).

***

Cathy - I love your selections. Leave it to Country Music to chronicle my life with such precision!

But since I'm more of a Classic Rock / Alternative Pug, I continue to mull over potential song titles from those genres. Such as:

"Everytime You Go Away (You Seem To Take Something Else From The Apartment With You)".

On the abundance of comments (and while I'm at it: the blog buds that leave them), I begged the Supreme Being: just let me be moderately "successful" at ONE thing, and I'll be happy. So there you have it (still ... hopefully I have 2-more wishes left).

Serena Joy said...

Sorry I'm so late getting back to this, and sorry if I list something already listed. The lists have gotten SO long.

NASA - Something from 'Dark Side of the Moon,' or maybe 'Fly Me To The Moon'

The bank - 'Money Changes Everything'

Nursery school - 'Sweet Child of Mine'

Car dealership - 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light'

Waterproofing company - 'Who'll Stop the Rain'

Camping gear store - 'Going Up the Country'

Jehovah's Witnesses headquarters - 'All Along the Watchtower'

Police Department - 'Crosstown Traffic'

Home Depot - 'Careful With That Axe, Eugene'

Taxi service - 'Go Now'

Movers - 'Refugee'

Camel broker - 'My Hump'

Marriage Counselor - 'Voodoo'

Enemy of the Republic said...

I have a few more:

Bush's upcoming veto: God's Gonna Cut You Down sung by the Man in Black, I'll Put a Spell on You--any decent Blues artist, I Can't Tell You Why--The Eagles

Presidential Election: Piggy by NIN, Happiness in Slavery by NIN, Doll Parts by Hole, Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

puerileuwaite said...

Serena - To borrow from the immortal Randy Vanwarmer, "You Left Me, Just When I Needed You Most".

Just teasin'. I know this list, being so long, was a challenge to "process". Your additions are wonderful, and are crackin' me up here.

***

Enemy - VERY disturbing. I like it!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Stick with me, kid. Disturbing is my middle name. And Cathy, do you really like country music (I'll check your blog.) I'm a new convert. Love Kenny Chesney! But the Man in Black is my hero.

limpy99 said...

The best country title I've heard, and I can't recall the artist, is "You're the reason our kids are so ugly"

And for lyrics, it's goota be George Jones singing about drinking whiskey from an Elvis Bottle out of a Flintstones jelly glass.

"I broke the head off Elvis/Filled Fred up to his pelvis/Yabba-dabba-doo/The King is gone/And so are you"

tfg said...

My proctologist has the Muzak version of Back Door Man piped into his office.

It's Me, Maven... said...

HOW ON EARTH COULD I FORGET????!?!?!?!?!??!

PROCTOLOGIST: Do You Take It In the Ass, by the Wet Spots.

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

Pugsy,

we sexy accountants like a good bashing now and then...if thats what the kids are calling it these days ;)

xx
pinks

cathy said...

enemy of the republic - I like almost any music except formula pop songs my favourite country songs at the moment are
OUT MY BACK DOOR & ACT NATURALLY

Little Lamb said...

Pug, I've got to come up with a new post. Do you have any suggestions? I never can think of anything.

puerileuwaite said...

Enemy - Disturbed is my current one. I usually like to stay with the "D"'s: Danger, Dickweed, et. al.

So we'll get along just fine. Though at some point we'll switch, and I'll be responsible for the disturbing.

Country music used to be an oxymoron to me, even though I grew up with it (and all genres ... long story).

My favs? The Man In Black, Hank Williams Sr., Patsy Cline, Shania Twain (Oh Yeah!), Lyle Lovett, and scattered songs by other artists. Maybe I'll have to do a "Pure Country" post.

Rockabilly? Don't get me started on that. Rockabilly kicks ass.

***

Limpy - Yet again, your good taste in music amazes me, Compadre. Exploring George Jones' stuff in greater detail has been on my to-do list.

Now is probably as good a time as any to give a shout out to Lyle Lovett and his immortal:
"I Married Her Because She Looks Like You".

***

TFG - Do you have his number? I refuse to go to mine, what with his playing 'Fooled Around and Fell In Love" every damned time I'm in for an exam. And of course, as the proverbial "chocolate icing on the cake", he insists on singing Karaoke to it as he's going deep.

***

Maven - Of all people, my ex-boss sent me that clip (true story). Which is one reason why I wanted to see other career opportunities.

***

Reverend - "Children behave", that's what they say when we're together.

***

Cathy - On second thought, I wanna see the proctologist who plays those tunes!

***

Lamby - What about the OTHER movie that you like?

gautami tripathy said...

pug, this is even worse! I was hinting at less is more, you go about on a long explanation in your reply.

You are banned outright from my kitchen.

BTW, there IS a kitchen post on my blog!!

Serena Joy said...

I don't really like country music -- not the old-style, anyway -- but I love Lyle Lovett and Patsy Cline. I saw and liked 'Walk the Line,' too, which I didn't think I would. I agree with you on Rockabilly, Pug -- it KICKS ass.

Little Lamb said...

There are two more of thsoe. Gotta think of what to say abotu them. Thanks, boss.

GirlGoyle said...

This has to be your master piece. I've tried but I can't come up with anything. Imagine that...I'm drawing a blank! Good job Mr. Pug.

Scary Monster said...

Aloha Puggles!

T&he sounds of surf and sea and coconuts dropping on tourists has inspired me to include these:

Seedy hotel front workers:
The partridge family theme.
Me don't know why but me keeps hearing it every time me goes through the lobby and they be greeting me with C'mon get happy aloha smiles. Now that's scary.

Souvenir shops:
Cheepnis ~ Frank Zappa
A dime a dozen ~ Jimmy Skinner

STOMP.

puerileuwaite said...

Gautami - Okay. I get it now. You prefer brevity. Fine. I apologize. I shall read you "Kitchen" post. And keep my comment short. But, speaking of kitchens, I am reminded of the following (I love Steve Miller's KILLER version BTW):


Come On In My Kitchen

by Robert Johnson (November 23 1936, San Antonio, Texas version)

Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

You better come on in my kitchen,
it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

When a woman gets in trouble,
everybody throws her down

Lookin' for yo' good friend,
none can be found

You better come on in my kitchen,
it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

Nnn, the woman I love,
took from my best friend

Some joker got lucky,
stole her back again

She better come on in my kitchen,
baby, it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

(spoken: Mama, can't you hear that wind howl?
Oh how the wind do howl!)

You better come on in my kitchen,
baby, it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

Nnn, the woman that I love,
I crave to see

She's up the country,
won't write to me

Then, you better come on in my kitchen,
goin' to be rainin' outdoors

I went to the mountain,
far as my eyes could see

Some other man got my woman,
lonesome blues got me

But she better come on in my kitchen,
'cause it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

My mamma dead, papa well's to be,
ain't got nobody
to love and care for me

She better come on in my kitchen,
'cause it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors

:-)

***

Serena - I KNEW there was another reason to like you (besides being a sucker for red-headed female vixens, that is)! We will HAVE to do a tribute to Rockabilly.

***

Lamby - Okay, but remember the Pugs #1 Rule: NO PORNOS!

Wait. That's actually the Pug's #101 Rule (right after Rule #100: Only "Classy" Pornos).

Oh well. Use your discretion.

***

Girlgoyle - Well then, it appears I can "hold my own" when it comes to "On-Hold Music". *Sigh* ... and ... other "things".

***

Scary - Word to the wise: AVOID THE HYATT'S WHALE-WATCHING CATAMARANS! Otherwise, your theme music may become "Must Of Got Lost" by The J. Geils Band.

Serena Joy said...

We will HAVE to do a tribute to Rockabilly.

For sure, Pugs. That ought to be a lot of fun.

leelee said...

Actually if I may correct you...I believe it was called the MANssiere

/t. said...

LONG
LIVE THE PUG


/t.

leelee said...

LONG LIVE THE PUG

Crashtest Comic said...

Long live the Pug...

kate said...

"You can't leave. All the plants are gonna die." - Bill Murray, Stripes

My plants are beginning to look a bit wilted...

karla said...

Aw. Bye, Pug. We'll miss you.

leelee said...

I'm hoping this tag will bring you back...even for a bit...I miss you!!!

Tag you're it

http://leasaann.blogspot.com/2007/04/oh-boyive-been-taged.html

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you all for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.