Saturday, December 01, 2007

Presidential Trivia - XVI thru XX


Hi everybody,

"At Last" is not just an Etta James tune, it's probably what some, okay ... none, of you are thinking upon spotting something new here on "Why oh why".

So what WOULD you say to a brand new, brilliantly crafted post? Who wouldn't say yes? Well, would you be willing to settle for the latest installment of Presidential Trivia? Good, I thought so. Okay, here goes.


16) Abraham Lincoln - Little is known of this President, as there are few - if any - books on the man. So all that remains are hearsay and barroom talk, passed down through the generations. In fact, learning about Mr. Lincoln from those wise old sages in taverns and watering holes is the main reason so many underage youths are infatuated with gaining entry to those establishments. To them, I say, wait your turn, Sunny Jim, the time will come when you can legally learn about our 16th* (* so my "fact-checkers" tell me) President.

Here's what I've been able to piece together. He was informally known as "Honest Abe", but apparently not so much for his honesty, than as a sarcastic moniker noting the lack of it. Turns out that some of you are probably more honest than this shyster. Except maybe for Corn Dog. The origin of this nickname appears to stem from Abe's days as a Horse and Buggy Trader, where he gained a reputation for emancipating folks from their cash, employing many of the shady practices that we still see today. Using a fishing pole with a dollar bill to lure dopes onto the lot? Abe was the first. Injecting sawdust to hide equine lower intestinal problems? You guessed it: he also pioneered that nefarious trick.

But strangely, both law practice and politics have a cleansing effect, along with a way of sweeping past bad deeds under the carpetbag, and as such, this is the path that Abe chose. Yet, the shenanigans did not stop altogether, as he continued to scam and ridicule. At the end of a Pro Bono case, he would get his client drunk, and attempt to collect; claiming that Pro Bono was Latin for "in favor of penises, not stiffing the attorney". If the client was an attractive woman, he was notorious for whipping out the "Lincoln Log" a la Clinton, thus inspiring the children's toy set. Also of note, the word "plaintiff" was allegedly coined by Abe as a derisive slap at the typical accuser, who was usually plain-looking at best, and seemingly always in a "tiff" with somebody.

In particular, his foray into law produced - as is always the case - a resulting over-amplification of his narcissistic personality, and he was known to bop down the street flashing in sign language both an "A" and an "L" to passersby. His famous statue in the Lincoln Memorial beautifully captures his hands "signing" in this manner. Unfortunately, variants of this gesture were adopted by carriage riders and street punks alike, a tradition that carries on to this very day (Lamby's middle-finger wave when changing lanes, to cite one example).

Lincoln's term as President was - per my sources - uneventful. He wasn't the worst President we've had, so I suppose by that low standard he did a good job keeping things together. Probably the only remarkable event was the manner of his death at the hand of a disgruntled former customer from the carriage dealership days, who shouted, "Sick Sonofabichin Tradein!" during the dirty deed, which apparently is Latin for "tired of being Bono'd".


17) Andrew Johnson - Was the first President to be impeached, probably because of a Time Traveller who reported to Congress that Johnsons make shitty Presidents. He was an ineffective leader, and the Southern Reconstruction debacle started under his watch. But how effective would you be, if all the time you were Lincoln's Vice-President, he introduced you to those present by loudly proclaiming, "Allow me to whip out my Johnson"? It got old real fast for everyone, but by that time the die had been cast; and everywhere he went, people would throw condoms at him.


18) Ulysses S. Grant - Was yet another military hero who became a mediocre President (and thank you SO much for paving that particular route, George Washington ... did anyone note the sarcasm? Well, aren't you all so damned observant). Unfortunately, my friends, Julian Lennon was no John Lennon; and Grant was no Washington. His administration was both negligent and corrupt. And there's a reason his name is so similar to "useless".

However, in his favor, the Secret Service WAS instituted during his Presidency, and as a fan of "The Wild Wild West" (the TV show, not the movie), this was a major coup. James West and his sidekick Artemus Gordon worked for the United States Secret Service, and it was their duty to keep the country safe from a large assortment of evil geniuses and their wicked schemes. Blending elements from The Man from U.N.C.L.E., James Bond, and the ever popular western, our two heroes rode the rails in a private train fighting many a bad guy.


19) Rutherford B. Hayes - Be honest (not in the opposite fashion, like "Honest" Abe, but in the literal sense). How many of you, when reading the name "Rutherford B. Hayes", thought he was a pimp? I know I did. But as it turns out, there WAS also a President by that name. Here ... let me go look some crap up on him and report back .... .... .... okay, I'm back. Here's what I stole and bastardized, er, here's what I learned.

Mark Twain (author of "Huck Finn" and other fine works of American literature) stumped for Hayes. His detractors of course played on that fact and twisted it by producing "Hayes for President? Fhuck Himm!" buttons.

Now get this: Hayes expected the Democrats to win. When the first returns seemed to confirm this, Hayes went to bed, believing he had lost. The popular vote apparently was 4,300,000 for Tilden to 4,036,000 for Hayes. Hayes's election depended upon contested electoral votes in Louisiana, South Carolina, and *groan* FLORIDA. If all the disputed electoral votes went to Hayes, he would win; a single one would elect Tilden. With apologies to my Florida friends, The "Lamebrain State" indeed served as the "Nation's Dick" more than just in the 2000 election! At least back in those days, the only "Hanging Chad" would be the poor bastard election official that was rightfully lynched for handing the Presidency to a Republican.

Months of uncertainty followed. In January 1877 Congress established an Electoral Commission to decide the dispute. The commission, made up of eight Republicans and seven Democrats, determined all the contests in favor of Hayes by eight to seven. What a surprise. The final electoral vote: 185 to 184. Son of a bitch! History IS one painful "Mobius Strip" of repeated bullshit.

Hayes had announced in advance that he would serve only one term, and retired to Spiegel Grove, his home in Fremont, Ohio, in 1881, where he launched the Spiegel Catalog business (subsequently bought out by Eddie Bauer ... or was it the other way around?). Anyway, I digress. He died in 1893, thus making future rigged elections in his favor "difficult" at best.


20) James Garfield - I know what you're thinking: the Pug's going to make some lame-ass reference to Garfield the Cat. Damned straight, I am. It's my blog for Chrissakes, and I've been saving this joke since I started this insipid "Presidential Trivia" series. In fact, it IS the reason I started it. Tell you what: if you don't like it so much, then why don't YOU run for President and try to stop me. No, wait, don't. Knowing THESE voters, they probably would elect you. Hell, maybe I should run (*wink* *wink*).

Anyway, James Garfield did enjoy lasagna and crapping in sandy material. However, in a departure from the preferences of the cartoon cat, President Garfield also was infatuated with trains, and would spend endless hours ignoring the responsibilites of running the nation to hang out at the station. This would prove to have tragic consequences, as Garfield one day got into a heated argument and subsequent altercation with another train buff over the merits of "HO" versus "N" scale. An embittered attorney (one of many, I'm afraid) by name of Charles Julius Guiteau, was the other party in this fateful dispute, and he happened to already be agitated by the theft of his "Orange Julius" concession idea. So this was simply the wrong time and place for Garfield to be a "Subject Matter Expert Bully", as it cost him both his life and any possible "Model Railroading Hall of Fame" recognition. Live and learn.

***

Well that does it for this installment of "Presidential Trivia". I can only hope this continues to inspire your interest in the Oval Office, instead of just the oval tracks of NASCAR.

.

85 comments:

/t. said...

it's true

Rutherford B. Hayes
was not a pimp, daddy,
though frequently found in train station washrooms foot-tapping and singing, 'Beat Me Daddy Eight To The Bar', a song later made famous by the Andrews Sisters

/t.

Scary Monster said...

Me always thought that Lincoln Logs were a scatological term. Thanks fer clearing that up.

You be making the Presidency sounding quite fun. Me reckons me ought to throw me hat into the ring. First let find an official pole taker.

STOMP.

Enemy of the Republic said...

As usual,/t has his palm on American history. Rutherford (I almost named my son that one) was a groovy dude. Check out the beard--he was a trendsetter.

Did you mention Ulysses had a bit of a drinking problem?

Did you mention that Andrew Johnson had his Johnson surgically removed so that he could cave into the Carpetbaggers and all the rest who descended onto the South and brought the word Victory as a euphemism for We Kicked Your Ass, Now We Take Names. Thanks to him, the South got pissed and we still are not fully reconciled. I hate that eunuch president.

Didn't Garfield die peacefully in his sleep?

I heard that Lincoln guy wrote his own speeches and handwrote letters to families who lost soldiers. Oh, you didn't mention that war between the states. Maybe that took place in a parallel universe that Johnson came from.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Scary, if you run, can my cat Muffin be your running mate?

Sassy Blondie said...

I'm an Abe Lincoln fan from waaay back...

Crashtest Comic said...

my favorite president was Mike Brady.

she said...

i was disappointed to learn that "pro-bono" didnt involve inserting sawdust into a certain sunglass wearing U2ube. might i suggest "probe-bono?" preferably by the german hausfrau from the austin powers series. grrrerhaha...actually the dollar on the stick might work on bonos as well. "i raised 9 mil for africa...which means after administrative fees they will receive $4.95."

so THAT"S where the L on the forehead came from. Honest Abe: the original loser!

so! andrew johnson is to blame for atlanta. is it too late for a class action lawsuit? im suing every johnson in the phonebook - no. hell, im suing every johnson in los pantelones!

RB hayes the original gansta and great great great grandfather of one isaac hayes...which coincidentally wrote the soundtrack for "shaft"...that's right, you guessed it "honest abe" was his godfather!! grrrerhahaha

yes a review of these lame asses makes us proles in 'merica yearn for a real curl tail to step up to the plate and run an honest campaign as only a K9 could do. people suck! theres a reason people choose dog avatars...wishful thinking. OBEY THE PUG *wink*

fun post buddy. good to see ya!

Little Lamb said...

I like Abraham Lincoln.

limpy99 said...

I don't remember anything about this post after "Allow me to whip out my Johnson" If you do nothing else in life sir, you shall be remembered for that.

Although not by me, as I suffer from attention deficit diso

Serena Joy said...

Yeah, I guess I like dead presidents okay. Shoot, even the deadest one could win a battle of wits with the current allegedly live one.:-)

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - More so lately (after news of that creepy politico from Idaho), I'm nervous about any government officials lingering in public restrooms.

I do like the Andrews Sisters reference however, as it dovetails nicely with my Johnson reference in at least 2-ways.

***

Scary - I think it's the color of the logs that leads to that misnomer. Monica may still be available if experience is an absolute prerequisite.

***

Enemy - Disgusting as it seems, if American History is the worst thing /t. has his palm on, it probably won't get any hairier.

Have you ever known a Ulysses who didn't? Have you ever known a Ulysses? To borrow from Groucho, "answer the 2nd question first".

Well, if you believe a certain band of Southern Rockers, the South is gonna do it again.

Eventually I suppose he did. But he WAS shot in a train station, though he didn't die right away.

I heard a rumor that Lincoln only wrote to attractive widows, inviting them to the White House so he could hit on them. I'm hoping it wasn't true.

(p.s. - I thought Muffin was going to run on his own ticket. It's tough enough for a cat to get past the prejudices of the voters, so I'd be real careful about looking outside our borders. That's why Muffin should play it safe and go with The Terminator. We'll quickly change the Constitution to grease the way)

***

Sassy - I thought so, since apparently it's impossible to keep you out of places that serve up cheap hootch. Hell, you probably have all of his speeches memorized by now! ;-)

***

Crash - I used to think so too. But then I remembered that every one of his speeches seemed more like a Father-Son lecture than a speech. And his "An American always keeps a promise" crap got real old, real fast. Also, who could forget how he wanted to use taxpayer dough for that 60's retro White House makeover, complete with an Astroturf Rose Garden? It just came across as a wee bit too "precious".

***

She - Me 2 on the U2, K9, er, She. Though I wouldn't worry too much about Africa, since as you can see by a recent post, they are swimming in moola.

BTW, LBJ was a famous Johnson for NOT wearing pants, so I would recommend removing that from your criteria. In fact, he was infamous for talking to advisors and reporters through an open door while sitting on the crapper.

It all fits, as I heard a rumor that Rutherford B. Hayes was one bad mutha ... (Watch your mouth!).

Same here! I know a certain canine who is carefully selecting the planks to walk. *wink*

***

Lamby - Is that some sort of code that you enjoy going to bars? Inquiring Pugs want to know. But if -for once - you really ARE on the level, then we share a common passion, and I would like you to send me half of your 5-dollar bill collection.

***

Limpy - What great timing, as indeed, I DO intend to do nothing more in life. Though I must admit that I AM disappointed, because I slipped a lot of legalese into this post as a test to see how damned good you really are.

***

Serena - I wouldn't be so sure of that. "Strategerie" didn't exist before "W", so they may have been "out-reconnoitered".

ArtfulSub said...

With some polish, you could sell this stuff. Some of it was really quite good. Reminded me of Dave Barry back when he had a sense-of-humor.

Sassy Blondie said...

As matter of face, Pugsley, "Four score and seven years ago..."

And who says I like cheap hootch? What the hell is cheap hootch anyway?

puerileuwaite said...

Artfulsub - Welcome, and thanks for the kind words. That would be a dream, to actually find someone willing to pay me to write this crap. Also, it would mean P.T. Barnum was right. Funny you should mention Dave Barry, because I used to read his Sunday column regularly, right up until his "retirement".

***

Sassy - If I only scored with you four times in seven years, then I'd want John Wilkes Booth to shoot me too.

Cheap hootch is the lowest grade alcohol that they tend to serve in open bars at weddings, and also in Denver nightclubs. It tends to cause blindness and promiscuity, though not necessarily in that order.

CresceNet said...

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puerileuwaite said...

Crescenet - No comprendo, amigo.

/t. said...

quick
translation:

"my door is sober"

/t.

limpy99 said...

I caught the legalese, as I actually use the phrase "crapped in the sandbox" as shorthand for most of my legal arguments.

RevRee said...

What about Ronald Reagan????

I wrote him a letter once, when I was 5!

GirlGoyle said...

good to know you are half way through on your president's trivial. What will you focus your energies on when you run out of presidents??

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Well it certainly wasn't Jim Morrison then! And that also means it didn't have "ajar" of moonshine either. Thanks for translating. You will be my official translator for all of my diplomatic missions.

***

Limpy - Those are precisely the kind of insights into the legal profession that one just doesn't get from TV. And here I was, thinking that "crapped in the sandbox", is something that only yours truly did as a youngster.

***

Revree - Any chance THAT is what triggered the onset of Alzheimer's? Just a thought. Did the Secret Service show up at your house, just to make SURE you weren't another John Hinckley? You can never be too careful, especially with all of the crazy nuts out there!

***

Girlgoyle - I've been too worried about that inevitability, so I purposely blocked it out. Until now. Here's a few options you have prompted me to consider:

1) Start collecting dead Presidents;
2) Do a new series on European Royalty;
3) See if Canada has any interesting politicos;
4) Work on my romantic life;
5) Spackle the den;
6) Turn this into a Celebrity Trivia blog;
7) Roam the Earth, like Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction;
8) Macrame;
9) Lots of "Letters to the Editor";
10) Scoutmaster;
11) Completely immerse myself in all of the various "Star Trek" permutations;
12) Select one lucky blogger, and live with her in sin for one year - then blog about it;
13) Sit in on random court cases, eating my lunch with the pigeons in the park each day;
14) Underwear modeling;
15) Turkish prison (as an alternative to #12);
16) Dress in various costumes, and stand on street corners holding signs for local businesses;
17) Corporate Tax Consultant;
18) Semi-professional gigalo;
19) Golf Instruction for ladies taking up the game;
20) Continue to churn out creamy, cholesterol-laden updates to this blog.

I'll let you know what I decide.

GirlGoyle said...

Plenty of options....

puerileuwaite said...

Girlgoyle - I'll have to remember to post the sign-up section for #12. Gee, I hope blogspot.com has enough space of their server to accommodate all of the entries. Those who do sign up will help me determine if #15 is the better choice.

leelee said...

Coincidently and frankly I don't know how proud I am of the following fact BUT...My mother's mother, married a grandson of Ulysses S. Grant...so I guess, that kinda sorta makes me related to him...kinda....too bad he was one of the worst prezzzzesess. Oh well.

Just a little of my family tree to ponder...

what can I say??

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - That is one cool factoid! In his defense, he trusted his administration too much to do their jobs, and do them honestly. Plus, he was the first Union General (over the entire operation) who had both guts and smarts.

Little Lamb said...

If I send you half of my five dollar collection we should go on a date. ;-)

leelee said...

P...I like the way you think...you've turned my frown upside down in regards to my long lost Kin.. :-) Thanks!

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - I dunno. What would your new husband think?

***

Leelee - Well, it's reminded me that I should never take you for "granted".

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Historically hilarious! Thank you for brightening my morning.

leelee said...

Pug...You're the best!!

Little Lamb said...

My so-called new husband is having an affair already, so who cares?

Sassy Blondie said...

Did you just call me promiscuous, Pugsley, dear? Shows how little you know me...promiscuity might be a nice distraction from my life, at this point. However, I'm still deeply offended and more than amused by your implication. Hmmph!

NYD said...

The post was entertaining and I will have to go back and look at the previous ones, but it seems like the real action takes place behind the scenes.

puerileuwaite said...

Saintly Nick - First of all, welcome! And thank you for your visit and comment. Likewise, your kind words were very much appreciated.

***

Leelee - Aw shucks! Thank you, sexy. It is SO good to have you back!

***

Lamby - Well I do, for one. The first blogger that I turned on to the immortal Elmore James was Leelee (in a thinly veiled admission of my admiration ... oops, my secret is out ... thank God I have many more!); now it is your turn, and the lyrics fit ... somewhat. So crack open that bottle of whiskey, put on those dark shades, and let's get started:

It Hurts Me Too by Elmore James* 1963
[* "King of the Slide Guitar and Blues Legend"]

You said you was hurtin',
you almost lost your mind
Now, the man you love,
he hurt you all the time

But, when things go wrong,
ooh, wrong with you,
it hurts me too

You'll love him more
when you should love him less
Why lick up behind him
and take his mess

But when things go wrong,
whoa, wrong with you,
it hurts me too

He love another woman,
yes, I love you
But, you love him
and stick to him like glue

When things go wrong,
ooh, wrong with you,
it hurts me too

Now, he better leave you
or you better put him down
No, I won't stand
to see you pushed around

But, when things go wrong,
ooh, wrong with you,
it hurts me too

(Nothing like the blues to warm the soul)

***

Sassy - I'm sorry, my pet. It's just that when I discovered you were sharing your cookies with another suitor, it made me suspect the worst. I now realize that you just may be that mythical, pristine '63 Corvette that's been waiting for a certain Wayfarers wearing Pug to grab the, er, key.









when things go wrong

The Phosgene Kid said...

Lincoln did pretty well right up until the last act. Kennedy saw the value of the bullet to the head ploy, too bad all politicians don't try it before they run for president.

Corn Dog said...

OMG! I laughed so hard Pug. Your less than honest friend, Corn Doggie
P.S. You should teach history in...in College.

Kate said...

My Dad just sent these to me... seemed somewhat appropriate here (well the first few at least! lol)

IF THEY HAD A JEWISH MOTHER...

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!"

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"

PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"

BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"



MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."

/t. said...

P.DIDDY's
Jewish Mother
making like Santa
while greeting a couple
of P's friends on the video set:

YO! HO HO!

/t.

leelee said...

Oh Pugsly.....I...I...don't know what to say...I...had...no idea...~blush~

I'm touched, I'm honored..I'm..speechless. I'm back!!

HUGS! for PUGS!

leelee said...

and BTW...I do love Elmore James...sho nuff I do..thank you for "turning me on" to him ~wink~

Little Lamb said...

Puggy, I have great news. My marriage is null and void. Since a preacher or clergy didn't marry us, it's not legal, so you see, I'm not married after all.

Pink said...

are you as sick of Abe Lincoln as I am?

Oh wait. I keep getting him confused with that arse from U2.

(you inspire me)
xx
pinks

Pink said...

PS to Lambie - its LEGAL, its just immoral.

But consider the source ;)
xx
pinks

puerileuwaite said...

NYD - Thanks. Anything to get folks to show a passing interest in history, lest we repeat it (which I think we'll do - regardless.). And whether it's this humble blog or life in general, the action ALWAYS takes place behind the scenes.

***

Phosgene - That's yet another thing we voters should get to decide. Except perhaps for Florida voters.

***

Corn Dog - Thanks! I'm glad you noticed. This is how I occasionally pay homage to my blogging buds, with a playful little swipe here and there. It's a form of endearment. Usually it's sweet Lamby that I pick on the most, and early on she wasn't sure if I was just being mean. Now she knows it's from the heart.

College, you say? I would enjoy that, but I fear College is no place for an eccentric liberal* (* in some - not all - ways) with a passion for educating like yours truly.

***

Kate - I love Jewish Humor (seriously)! So these were awesome! I'm also a Jackie Mason fan. I'm also fond of Eddie Murphy's "old Jewish man" from the barbershop in "Coming to America", and especially his joke at the very end of the movie (which I often retell, accent and all).

***

/t. - Some days I don't know who's more disturbed, my friend: you or me. Most days I'm pretty sure it's me. But today ... ?

***

Leelee - Even though I am a Pug, I can't always be expected to run from my feelings!

But was it REALLY necessary to add the "to him" verbiage in your last comment?

;-)

***

Lamby - Whew! That's a relief, because the Pug is all about low mileage and one-owner when shopping for a vehicle.

***

Pink - Not to worry. I confuse those two all the time. They even both went through their awkward, nerdy phases. You inspire me too, my world-traveling Zen-Vixen.

But if it IS immoral to marry a lamb, then I'm not sure this is a world I want to live in.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Just seeing if you have a new post. I haven't been blogging much--work gets in the way--how inconvenient.

gautami tripathy said...

So how have you been?


rooted
reading room

leelee said...

why do you think I put "" ;-)

Little Lamb said...

Pug, I don't if I'm married or not, but I have a baby goat that I named after the father.

And the the father of my goat loves me and Pink. But she doesn't want to be married to him...

Oh its just so complicated.

Kate said...

=] and i think its a toss up about who is more disturbed... you or /t.! lol

Chick said...

Lincoln logs...now that's the funniest trivia I've heard in a damn long time.

puerileuwaite said...

Enemy - Damn those employers and the fistfuls of cash that they entice us with! Damn them all to hell!

***

Gautami - I've been tired, mostly. Life's been good, but busy. It's been awhile. I hope you are well. I need to pay you a visit, and flex my poetry muscle!

***

Leelee - I was hoping that was the case! Now all we need to do is feed our mutual passion with a "meet you half-way" clandestine affair in Eastern Texas.

***

Lamby - Well, you shouldn't let it get your goat. Maybe he found that making an honest lamb of ewe was too daunting of a task. Some of us just really don't want to be fenced in.

***

Kate - Thank you for the compliment! Tie goes to the Pug!

***

Chick - Welcome! And thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Beautiful redheads are like kryptonite to me, so sorry if you noticed that my IQ dropped (another) 25-points while writing this reply.

Little Lamb said...

Ok, puggy, I can be as fickle as anybody.

GirlGoyle said...

I do think your #15 option may be less painful than the #12 and surely gives enough to blog about anyway.

NYD said...

If all the action is behind the scenes then the facade is just a farce. Hmmm, Methinks that maybe you got the right idea about things, little pup.

Pink said...

you want to marry a lamb?

or just go ON the lamb?
xx

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - Well in that case, you DO fit right in with this crew. Welcome aboard. You are assigned to Galley Duty.

***

Girlgoyle - Damn straight. Besides, I'd better ride the "Borat" craze while I can. People are still thirsty to learn about culture in that patch of the globe. And the Turks may prove more stable than women, anyway.

***

NYD - That's why we have to be vigilant for the truth, if we do happen to stumble across it. Scary Monster is a prime example. Did he simply choose to stop blogging of his own accord, or did the mob and the Teamsters get to him? Did he depart Lilliput for the states, or is he on another island somewhere with Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and Amelia Earhart?

***

Pinks - I also gravitate toward the option that compromises my freedom the least. So it appears that the lesser of 2-evils is the second.

/t. said...

pug,

this post
looks very much
like your last post

hey, wait a minute, this post is your last post... i mean, i know it's coming, but then so is christmas

/t.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Merry Christmas Pugs :)
I read most of your post out loud this morning to hubs (kids were upstairs)- and frankly it was better than anything I saw in the paper today :)
Only you could have a "train" of thought that would link Grant to the Wild Wild West (Robert Conrad- GRRRRR!!!) :)
loved it~ xoxox :D

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Me and /t have been on similar paths lately- and apparently on the same blog reading and posting schedule too :D

leelee said...

Galevston........oh Galveston.......

Little Lamb said...

I mentioned you in my newest post.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Oops. Okay, so here we are once again with the same post up for 2-weeks (and counting, I'm afraid). And the shame is that I DO have a bunch of new post ideas poppin' into my tiny noggin all the time. It's just that the other job (the one that pays the bills) has been more demanding than Lamby.

I was hoping today I could post, but now I'm thinking it may be tomorrow or Tuesday. This is why I probably deserve that lump of coal in my stocking (at least I HOPE it's coal, because it feels kinda squishy).

***

FM - Wow! BETTER than the Sunday Paper? Yes! The Pug HAS arrived! Merry Christmas!

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - "We'll always have Galveston" just sounds funny. How about Paris, Texas?

***

Lamby - Okay, let me go check it out, and see how risque the post is.

/t. said...

hey,

you can't
rush quality, dude

just sayin' there's lotsa folks out here who actually look forward to seeing what you post here

/t.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Wonder if Florida will hang Chad again next year?? Most Floridans must be morons, how tough is it to vote? If you don't know how perhaps you shouldn't be allowed to...

leelee said...

Oui-HAW!!

Little Lamb said...

I totally agree with Phosgene Kid.

NYD said...

Hey there. For some strange reason I had thought you put up another post.

As for the answers to the Scary one's withdrawal I can't say anything, but that he promised us a year of stomping and delivered on the promise. As for his whereabouts I can say with certainty that he is home in NY.

I'll be joining him there in a couple of days and posting about it.

leelee said...

Most Floridans must be morons, how tough is it to vote?

Consider me insulted - leelee, South Florida

Little Lamb said...

Lee lee, I live in South Florida, too. I'm not insulted. I voted correctly. I'm sure you did, too. It's those other idiots that ruined it for us.

leelee said...

Yes, Lamb, you are right....I just dislike being bunched up with them...what a picklle they got us into ...almost done, though...Mr B is almost gone...thankfully!

Lovely weather we're having isn't it?? YUM!! leelee likes it!!

Little Lamb said...

I love this weather.

Pink said...

ahem.


NEW POST!

thank you.
xx
pinks

Pink said...

my hunger for the pug never wanes.
xx
pinks

Kate said...

happy wednesday pooch!

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Thanks for the kind words, my friend. I really do appreciate the pals I've met here, and this continues to be my favorite place. Each day I plan to post, and each day I find I've run out of time and energy. I already have my next installment written in my tiny noggin; it's just finding the 2-things I mentioned to properly post it (any day now ...).

***

Phosgene - In their defense, there are quite a few old timers down there who see voting as their civic duty. It's the responsibility of others to HELP them with the process, and I have seen firsthand how some of the volunteers in these places can be unhelpful, and assholes, even. So I think there's more to the story than that. Also, the Republicans did some shady things down there prior to the election to help skew the results.

***

Leelee - I like the way you think! ;-)

***

Lamby - Please see my response to Phosgene.

***

NYD - Thanks for the update on the Scary One. I miss his stomping around.

***

Leelee & Lamby - How hard is it to make the voting process idiot-proof? I don't blame the voters, I blame the government jugheads responsible for making the voting process as efficient and reliable as possible. They failed. Also, WHY were so many legitimate voters removed from the rolls in the months prior to the election? THAT had nothing to do with "hanging chads" or bumbling voters. I have equal reservations about BOTH parties, but the sleazy things that were done by the Republicans to rig the election is immoral, illegal, and goes against the very principles that this country was founded on. This is why I am no longer a Republican. I love my country, but I intensely dislike the criminals ruining it. "Nuff said.

***

Pinks - Aw shucks! Thank you. Soon, my pet. Please see my comment to /t., above.

***

Kate - Back at you, my little 5K blur of blondeness!

***

(See all of you real soon!)

she said...

come back to the pound your CD is up!!! its the nastiest one up in there too. grrrherhahahahaha!

Pink said...

What? Now I get used comments too?

Better than used condoms I guess.
xx
pinks

Enemy of the Republic said...

C'mon, wish us a Merry Christmas or something.

leelee said...

((((((((((PUG)))))))))

Merry Christmas!!

puerileuwaite said...

She - I love it! You are the greatest!

***

Pinks - Think of it as "me, saving my energy for a better purpose". ;-)

***

Enemy - What if you don't WANT to have a Merry XMAS? What if some of us prefer a Melancholy XMAS? But I DO feel comfortable commanding everyone to "have a nice day".

***

Leelee - You too, ((((Leelee))))!

***

Okay, even if it kills me (and it probably will): NEW post out THIS weekend, my friends. Anything to keep some of you off the streets and out of the malls for that brief period of time (especially yours truly).

NYD said...

that's the spirit! I could use a laugh or two. Besides this post is startin to feel like third period history class.

gautami tripathy said...

Wishing you laughter,love, joy and much peace for Christmas and coming New Year!

Much power to your pen too!

Pink said...

a better purpose? what? I'm not even there! You can't start without me - again!
xx
pinks

puerileuwaite said...

NYD - 3rd Period? Thanks for going easy on me. Most folks usually give me the "right after lunch and gym class" slot in the schedule.

***

Gautami - Likewise, for you and yours, my friend!

***

Pinks - No, actually this purpose DOES require you to be there! ;-)