Sunday, April 06, 2008

I ALSO Have a Dream

( This weekend, many of us mourned the passing of the late, great, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 40-years previous, on April 4th, 1968. Below is my twisted homage to MLK and a liberal retooling of one of the greatest speeches of all time. Forgive me. )



Thank you everyone for attending today. I am happy to join with you in what will go down in history as perhaps one of the top 200 posts that The Pug has ever crafted.

Five scores ago, a great American known simply as "The Pug", in whose furry and hunched shadow you now stand, ended a long night of captivity and emerged from Lamby's crawlspace to start a blog.


But many posts later, The Pug still is not free. You see, the manacles of earning a paycheck and the chains of ever increasing expectation continue to harsh his buzz. So I stand here before you, rear leg lifted in outrage, to once again remind you of a shameful condition.


It is obvious that America has defaulted on a promissory note where blogging was supposed to make this particular canine rich and famous beyond even his wildest imaginings. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given him a bad check (endorsed and post-dated by none other than Leelee), a check which has come back marked "Store Credit Only." The folly of not using PayPal has now become self-evident, as not all schemes were created equal.

Now is the time to lift the skirt of Lady Justice in my search for both vengeance and a path to the promised land.


The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges from beneath the G-String of patchy oppression.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand in the warm, urine-imbued shallow end of "Why Oh Why Must It Be This Way?", wondering why it must be this way.


We must forever conduct our struggle against the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow creativity to bitterly and covertly infiltrate our postings and our comments.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead because it is extremely awkward to march in any other fashion. We cannot turn back until it becomes time to depart. We cannot be satisfied as long as a single female blogger or Women Seeking Men poster on Craigs List remains unsatisfied.


I am not unmindful that some of you depart my blog with greater trials and tribulations than previous. I suspect that some of you may have come fresh from incarceration. You have been the veterans of creative suffering, and as such are naturally drawn to my musings. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.


I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. This is one of a type that is not all wet. Nor does it this time involve any of my female bloggers in revealing or compromising poses.


I have a dream that Lamby one day will not be judged by the color of her rope-skipping lambs, but by the content of her blog.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that Party Girl will forgo her partying ways to - a la Shania Twain - have a "Party for Two" with Yours Truly.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that instead of Enronesque "massaging the numbers", Pud massages my numbers.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that somehow Cathy is related to the Onassis family, and is due to inherit an island upon which we can roam sans-clothing and consummate our passion for each other on a pre-arranged, annual basis a la Jackie and Aristotle.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that one day, Limpy will get laid in all states, both geographically and perhaps in a few altered ones as well.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where Sassy Blondie and I continuously switch roles as teacher and student, and extra credit is a given.

I have a dream.


I have a dream that Pinks and I stay at a motel where - for safety - we spend the entire time in the room with the curtains drawn.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where Serena's answers to one of her posted quizzes proclaim that The Pug is her ideal match.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where She forgoes her art to tattoo her own body with images of The Pug, which she then posts on her blog.

I have a dream.


( Oops, was that the Alarm Clock? Already? On a Sunday? WTF? Okay, I'll have more dreams in the ensuing comments. )

This is my hope. And when all of this happens, especially when The Pug is FINALLY able to realize the substantial return from his blogging that he deserves, we can then shout from the pierced, jewelry-capped mountains, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"



.

39 comments:

/t. said...

"A post at last!
Post at last!
thank God Almighty,
we have a post at last!"

good tribute, pug

but serious now, this 'real life' thing is encroaching entirely too far into your obligation to us for frivolous fantasizing and blog entertainment -- watch it!

/t.

Pink said...

Woo hoo - /t said it!!!

And watch it, indeed...

That is one naughty penguin...this time symbols, mr polar bear pug...next time - who knows!

Hope you had a good weekend
xx
pinks

Little Lamb said...

Hopefully all our dreams will come true.

I like the picture of the pig and the polar bear with the penguins the best.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Thank you, my friend. I proclaimed an emancipation from blogging, but didn't know how to formally announce it.

***

Pinks - I did, now that you jet-setted onto the scene, m'lady.

***

Lamby - Not so much the women in lingerie? Or Howard Dean punching a kid? I don't even know who you are, anymore, Lambycakes!

***

Little Lamb said...

I'm sorry, Pug, my true colors must be coming out.

leelee said...

all those dreams and all I can give is an endorsement on a bad check from America??? I'm crushed..I'd always hoped any dreams included me in a more pleasant situation..I guess I should be happy for a mention (sans link however) in your long awaited return to blogging..

:-(

OK HUGS!! anyway ;-)

Serena Joy said...

So, are we going to get a national holiday out of this? I could rig the answers to my quizzes to ensure that The Pug is my ideal mate if that's what it takes. Geez, I just hope he's paper trained.:)

Sassy Blondie said...

I gotta lesson for ya, Pugsley darlin'....;)

puerileuwaite said...

Oops, I have a dream that I would answer all of my comments in "I have a Dream" format. And so, from the sodomizing rivers of backwoods Georgia, to the cannibalizing snow-capped Donner Pass of California, I loudly proclaim, "let me start over"!

***

/t. - I have a dream that /t.'s mo po code might translate properly all the way back to original Windows and perhaps even Macintosh formats, bridging the gap not only between ALL Operating Systems, but all operators as well.

I have a dream.

***

Pinks - I have a dream that I might accompany Pinks on an extended excursion through London and outlying suburbs, reenacting Monty Python skits whenever possible, then getting freaky to cap off the evenings.

I have a dream.

***

Lamby - I have a dream that Lamby is really a Cougar in Wolf's clothing, and that this innocent and wholesome act is a carefully constructed facade.

I have a dream.

***

Okay, and now for the new comments ...

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - I have a dream that your colors may run, but they will not fade.

I have a dream.

***

Leelee - I have a dream ... actually I have MANY dreams about you. But unfortunately this is a "Family Blog" (albeit more Manson than Ozzie and Harriet), and so my dreams involving you did not make it past the censors (even AFTER I got them drunk).

And so I have a dream that one day I may be able to share these dreams with you, free from Puritan oppression and the threat of hot-blooded Latin reprisal.

I have a dream.

***

Serena - I have a dream that we can leave paperwork of any kind - legal in particular - out of our love for each other, as it does tend to clog the intakes.

I have a dream.

***

Sassy - I have a dream of an arm-in-arm trip to the "Neighborhood Walmart" where once again you are in your pajamas ... as am I in mine. Fortunately I sleep in the nude on warm nights, and on this particular trip you have forsaken your Sponge Bob attire for Victoria's Secret. We make our way to the Pharmacy for lotions and notions ...

I have a dream.

***

/t. said...

it's
important
that we keep
our dreams alive

but in this case, i dunno...

/t.

leelee said...

Oh yeah..now your talking Puggles..

HUGS 4 PUGS!

cathy said...

I have a question...

... Why am I so close to the wrinkly chinese lady with maggots on a stick in your dream? sob!

Also don't worry about my not being Greek, I'm about to take over the world so that I can ban the use of plastic, except for medicinal purposes.

I have a dream in which the world's resources are used intelligently.

cathy said...

I also have a dream about a faceless stranger... but that's another story:) shhh.

CruiserMel said...

While I was sleeping (perchance to dream about the Pugman) I neglected to read any blogs for about 2 months and apparently have been replaced by a myriad of lovely ladies. Me thinks I need to roll over and cry myself to sleep now.

Little Lamb said...

We shall see puggy, we shall see.

limpy99 said...

While I have the altered states already covered, I must leave kudos for one of the most sacriligious yet hilarious posts I've ever read.

GirlGoyle said...

I think I was dealt the same bad check. So....we share something - and apparently it's not a dream.

Enemy of the Republic said...

No dreams about me, Pugster??? And you have the gall to show me in my lace boyshorts that I planned to wear only for you. Hmmph. Well, more action for Black Bart. I know a good dog when I see one who will appreciate me for my body and not my mind.


LOL to /T.

leelee said...

everytime I see that picture of Howard Dean I crack up.

TGIF and HUGS!

Enemy of the Republic said...

You know, I think Howard Dean is crazy. He really is.

Pink said...

well...I'm not so sure about the monty python business...but freaky I can do.

xx
pinks

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Maybe the answer is to keep them on ice. I could do that. Then everyone could call me the Iced Dream Pug.

***

Leelee - I KNEW you would come around and see it my way. Now we just need to find a way to get rid of Ricky.

***

Cathy - Why, that is what we would subsist upon on our little island. Maggots on a stick. And wrinkly Chinese women. But you don't have to necessarily use me intelligently.

Concerning your "faceless stranger" dream, we can set up a leper colony on the other end of the island.
Or I can wear a Phantom of the Opera mask.

***

puerileuwaite said...

CruiserMel - You snooze instead of cruise, and we lose. And your timing couldn't be worse, I'm afraid, as Foreigner is just about to announce me as their Lou Gramm replacement on the upcoming tour. There is not a Conoco we will not be hitting to fuel up our cross-country caravan for all points unknown.

***

Lamby - Yes we shall, we shall.

***

Limpy - Thanks. My goal for every one of my speeches is to reach out and touch someone in a meaningful way for at least one of the plaintiffs. My work is done here.

***

Girlgoyle - I just want to go on record that I liked you BEFORE you offered to share the check.

***

Enemy - Could I make it up to you if I PROMISE to take your mind for granted?

***

Leelee - Say what you want about the man; he WOULD be FUN at a party. Plus you just KNOW he'd tote in a big ol' Nitrous Oxide tank instead of a boring kegger.

***

Enemy - That is WHY I fully embrace him as OUR candidate. The person to represent us must be one of us.

***

Pinks - Fortunately I require that you only need to meet one of the criteria. That one.

***

leelee said...

lol...now YOU'RE talking!!

cathy said...

maggots, eeeww! I'm going to tickle trout, wrap them in banana leaves and bury them in the sand at midday to cook.

Let's go with the mask for now.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Pugster, consider your offer under advisement. And true, we do need one of us in the office of Prez!

puerileuwaite said...

Crap. I had a dream that I could stay consistent in my "I Have a Dream" reply format.

***

Leelee - I have a dream that this talkin' turned into action.

***

Cathy - I have a dream that this means it's a "go" for "Operation Zorba".

***

Enemy - I have a dream that BOTH of us could be there at the same time. I could be President, and you could be right there serving under me.

/t. said...

hmmm,

same dream

time to wake up
and tell the hosers :)

new post

/t.

leelee said...

tell me where...when...

Pink said...

yawn...I keep having this recurring dream....

oh.

its the same blog post.


yawn.

I'm with /t

NEW POST!

(come on my sexy sky pilot)
xx
pinks

Enemy of the Republic said...

I too would join in the clamour for a new post, but I haven't updated my blog, nor do I want to until I can be happy and free, serving under the Pug.
Yes, it's true; I want to write joyful posts celebrating our power in the Executive Branch, running the country to the dogs--and folks--that is a grand improvement to what is happening these days.

she said...

i asked the tattoo artist for a pug but he didnt hear me right and gave me "fug" instead! grrrrerhahahaha

Corn Dog said...

I'm so crazy I thought I had commented on this post. I see I have not. Okay. Maybe I did and you deleted it, Pug. Paranoia, a new adventure for me. I think I'll wear that around a while.

she said...

i hope this absence means youre formulating your platform for the presidency.

Enemy of the Republic said...

LOL to She

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - I have a dream that the needle (and needling) stopped skipping, and a NEW post emancipated us all!

***

Leelee - I have a dream that you REALLY REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME (like my Sponsor)! So I'll tell you the same thing I told the guy at the "Breakfast Anytime" place: "I'd like it during the Renaissance, please."

***

Pinks - I have a dream that this Sky Pilot introduces you to the Mile High Club.

***

Enemy - I have a dream that - together - you and I will DELIVER this great country of ours back to the people! As soon as WE'RE done with it.

***

She - I have a dream that this - and future - tattoo(s) of Yours Truly will be both grammatically accurate and 3-dimensional. For instance, I want a lower belly tattoo of me where the eyes follow left-to-right and up-and-down. That's why you should only go to a "reputable" tattoo artist. Find out where the bikers go.

***

Corn Dog - I have yet to delete a comment (except one of my own, accidently). Since I am also paranoid, I have a dream that we can look out for those black helicopters together. Provided I can trust you.

***

She - I have a dream that THIS will come to pass, making the 1968 Convention look like a Monet painting in comparison.

***

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