I ALSO Have a Dream

( This weekend, many of us mourned the passing of the late, great, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 40-years previous, on April 4th, 1968. Below is my twisted homage to MLK and a liberal retooling of one of the greatest speeches of all time. Forgive me. )



Thank you everyone for attending today. I am happy to join with you in what will go down in history as perhaps one of the top 200 posts that The Pug has ever crafted.

Five scores ago, a great American known simply as "The Pug", in whose furry and hunched shadow you now stand, ended a long night of captivity and emerged from Lamby's crawlspace to start a blog.


But many posts later, The Pug still is not free. You see, the manacles of earning a paycheck and the chains of ever increasing expectation continue to harsh his buzz. So I stand here before you, rear leg lifted in outrage, to once again remind you of a shameful condition.


It is obvious that America has defaulted on a promissory note where blogging was supposed to make this particular canine rich and famous beyond even his wildest imaginings. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given him a bad check (endorsed and post-dated by none other than Leelee), a check which has come back marked "Store Credit Only." The folly of not using PayPal has now become self-evident, as not all schemes were created equal.

Now is the time to lift the skirt of Lady Justice in my search for both vengeance and a path to the promised land.


The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges from beneath the G-String of patchy oppression.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand in the warm, urine-imbued shallow end of "Why Oh Why Must It Be This Way?", wondering why it must be this way.


We must forever conduct our struggle against the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow creativity to bitterly and covertly infiltrate our postings and our comments.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead because it is extremely awkward to march in any other fashion. We cannot turn back until it becomes time to depart. We cannot be satisfied as long as a single female blogger or Women Seeking Men poster on Craigs List remains unsatisfied.


I am not unmindful that some of you depart my blog with greater trials and tribulations than previous. I suspect that some of you may have come fresh from incarceration. You have been the veterans of creative suffering, and as such are naturally drawn to my musings. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.


I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. This is one of a type that is not all wet. Nor does it this time involve any of my female bloggers in revealing or compromising poses.


I have a dream that Lamby one day will not be judged by the color of her rope-skipping lambs, but by the content of her blog.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that Party Girl will forgo her partying ways to - a la Shania Twain - have a "Party for Two" with Yours Truly.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that instead of Enronesque "massaging the numbers", Pud massages my numbers.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that somehow Cathy is related to the Onassis family, and is due to inherit an island upon which we can roam sans-clothing and consummate our passion for each other on a pre-arranged, annual basis a la Jackie and Aristotle.

I have a dream today.


I have a dream that one day, Limpy will get laid in all states, both geographically and perhaps in a few altered ones as well.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where Sassy Blondie and I continuously switch roles as teacher and student, and extra credit is a given.

I have a dream.


I have a dream that Pinks and I stay at a motel where - for safety - we spend the entire time in the room with the curtains drawn.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where Serena's answers to one of her posted quizzes proclaim that The Pug is her ideal match.

I have a dream.


I have a dream where She forgoes her art to tattoo her own body with images of The Pug, which she then posts on her blog.

I have a dream.


( Oops, was that the Alarm Clock? Already? On a Sunday? WTF? Okay, I'll have more dreams in the ensuing comments. )

This is my hope. And when all of this happens, especially when The Pug is FINALLY able to realize the substantial return from his blogging that he deserves, we can then shout from the pierced, jewelry-capped mountains, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"



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