Monday, October 02, 2006

Career Opportunities - Part I

Hello everyone,

I can manage just a few paragraphs today to let you know I'm still alive and thinking of (most of) you.

I realize that some of you have been wondering, WTF? Do I EVER plan to post again? Well excuuuuuuse me for trying to get a life! I had no idea that blogging is creepily similar to that movie, "The Firm". Or maybe it's just like the "Hotel California", the way they* (* Lamby and /t., usually) stab at my blog with their "steely knives", but they just can't (totally) kill my zest for blogging.

(Though try, they do.)

Perhaps it's more akin to "The Devil's Advocate", where I'm granted modest blog popularity, just to have Heckle and Jeckle* (Lamby and /t., usually) descend, devour and devastate like crows on a field of prize winning corn.

(But I kid.)

Okay, since I'm currently "between ideas", I'll go with the truth for this post. I've been in the midst of career planning - a new concept I've wanted to try out for awhile now. And it has paid off. I'll be moving on to a better opportunity (Hurray for me! Hurray for everything!). So today I gave 2-weeks notice. I feel like 120 lbs.* (* about what Lamby weighs ... /t. weighs much less) has been removed from my shoulders!

(I am SO glad those two have a great sense of humor. Maybe not in their comments. But perhaps in their reactions to this post.)

Two weeks from today, I'll be starting my new job. I will meet a whole new bunch of coworkers who have no natural immunities to my bullshit. I'll be able to exclaim that "I'm on it!", with no one being the wiser. I'll also be able to confirm that "I'm all over it!", without them realizing until much too late that I was past it; not concerned with it.

Presently, my boss and the Business Office Beotch (just one of the "BOB"s) are the only one who know. The rest of the torture weasels will, as soon as they open their emails (to which I should have attached viruses ... oh well, live and learn).

Serves 'em right for leading me to believe I'd be handsomely rewarded for my efforts, just to find out they had no intention of doing so. Just like how CrashTestComic shined me on about being the front-runner in his "Name The Tour" contest, just to find out that he went with some totally obscure reference that none of us have ever heard of (Kubla Khan? WTF?!).

So how will they respond? Dull surprise? Outrage? Counter-offer? Sexual favors? To be continued ...

.

259 comments:

1 – 200 of 259   Newer›   Newest»
/t. said...

new post --

GREAT!

good time to plug
for the competition...

apocalypse now
playing at k9's

end of the world
as you never imagined


SPARRING K9

we return you now to regular programming

/t.

PS, pug, will be back later, maybe, to see what you wrote about this time

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Thanks for the link. Yet another brilliant work by k9!

Little Lamb said...

Yes, k9's post is all about /t. & me. I do look cute in k9's post and so does /t.

(sorry but we have to live up to what you made us out to be, pug)

/t. said...

yeah,
K9 is quite
the photoshop
wizard --

little lamb and i are honored that he thinks enough of us to include us in this new work -- he's really a special kind of guy -- usually people just make fun of us, but not K9 -- we love K9 -- he's a really, really swell guy -- i'd die for him

hey, you're a great guy, too, pug -- little lamb and i love you, too...

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

As long as you two know that it was your turn to be teased.

But for some reason, I suspect that you guys like k9 way better than you like me. I sure hope I'm wrong about this ...

/t. said...

yeah,
that's quite
the commical
off-the-cuff
remark over there at K9's, pug -- of course we know you're kidding...

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Oh, and you DO like me better than the Clown, so please show your love by voting for me on Rev's blog.

Little Lamb said...

/t. vote in Revree's contest? Oh brother!

puerileuwaite said...

I'm kidding. You know what they say, any press is good press! All in good fun.

But come to think of it, the intensity of yours and Lamby's eyes does have a sinister connotation. Sort of like the "eye at the top of the pyramid" on the 1-dollar bill.

/t. said...

of course, dude

we don't love the
clown -- his language
is too course -- always quick with... well, WTF, for example, and worse -- it bothers little lamb

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Sure, Lamby. Why not? Canada is a lonely place. Anything goes ;-)

/t. said...

but not
all press is good,
pug -- sometimes press
can be just plain mean,
you know? nobody like to be strung along, or made fun of, especially in public

am i right, little lamb?

/t.

Little Lamb said...

yes, you're right, /t.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - I understand. I think I lost yet another blogger as a result.

Little Lamb said...

Who did you loose?

/t. said...

or in front
of your friends, eh?

that's probably the worst

lost a blogger?

/t.

Crashtest Comic said...

Congrats, Man. You deserve it.
Nothing better than taking that long walk into the Office & telling your boss you're gonna be a lame duck for the next two weeks.

Clean out you desk & have a few beers.

puerileuwaite said...

Okay, now I don't know if you two are teasing back, or if you're really hurt by anything I've written (I hope not). If there's one thing I've learned abouit blogging, it's, "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug (that gets smashed by the windshield)".

You "guys" are good sports.

Crashtest Comic said...

You don't know who Kubla Kahn is?

As far as naming the next tour, I've been keeping a theme of terribly wrathful, destructive things that come from afar, ravage the city, and disappear (ie Godzilla Rising, Hurrican X, Jack the Ripper, and Kubla Kahn.)

Although I loved Venus vs Uranus. (still laughing dude.)

/t. said...

nah,
you gained
a blogger, dude

it's crashtest comic,
the funniest guy this side of genocide!!!

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

And of course you are my friends! (Why do i suddenly feel so dirty?)

Little Lamb said...

good question, pug

/t. said...

what do you mean?

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Crash - Thanks. I can't even try to accurately convey the level of stress I've been under during the past couple of months. It's so good to finally close this chapter and prepare for the next one. Whiskeys all around!

/t. said...

maybe
the pug
has fleas...

he needs a bath...

/t.

Little Lamb said...

shall I bathe him?

puerileuwaite said...

Sorry you two. I couldn't pay you a compliment without adding an insult. It's just my way. I'm damaged goods. Just strip out the insult. Or the compliment if you prefer.

/t. said...

i love it
when you talk dirty,
little lamb

/t.

Little Lamb said...

when its fitting, ok

puerileuwaite said...

Crash - Sorry to rain on your tour, but wasn't it "Genghis Khan"?

(Maybe Kubla was his brother ...)

/t. said...

hey,
little lamb,
wanna go over
and heckle K9?

his link is at top of this post...

/t.

Little Lamb said...

Only if he's only online and will talk to us

RevRee said...

I feel like I've just enterd the twilight zone...

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - The vision of you bathing me is both tender and erotic. I'm starting to view you in a different context, my little Q-Tip of forbidden desire.

/t. said...

hi rev,

the pug
hates us, too

/t.

Little Lamb said...

I'm glad pug, its about time. Now maybe we can do some serious flirting and you can still flirt with whoever you want, jsut don't leave me out.

puerileuwaite said...

Hey Rev! What's shakin' baby? Join the party. I think there's still some Sterno left ...

puerileuwaite said...

It's a deal, Lamby. Show me what you've got under that coat.

Little Lamb said...

you;re a dog, come and look

RevRee said...

hi puerileuwaitedkfhskfhsf darlin,

Where's the hot tub?

/t. said...

revree,
a dog & a lamb
in a hot tub...

too weird for me, folks -- bye

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

I like it, Lamby! Sheared smooth. Why, it's like a 2nd nose at the far end! Who knew?

puerileuwaite said...

Rev - The hot tub? Oh, /t. 's using it right now. See? I even placed a TV on the edge so he'd be entertained. Whoops! Don't worry, I purchased an extended warranty. Will SOMEBODY please reset the circuit breaker and call 911?!

Little Lamb said...

ok, now its time for your bath pug

RevRee said...

ummm, nevermind

puerileuwaite said...

Okay Lamby. Climb in with me so we can play "Voyage to the Bottom of Depravity".

puerileuwaite said...

Rev - Wait, don't go. There's a bed with a pile of coats in the other room.

Little Lamb said...

ok, but remember we're in here to get clean. But we can still have fun. You'll have to show me how to play that game.

Little Lamb said...

You have 2 women and only one you. What is a pug to do?

puerileuwaite said...

Okay, but just remember: you have to be dirty first, in order to get clean. The game has multiple stages. Stage 1 is called, "Loofah or Body part?" It's a guessing game.

RevRee said...

wool makes me itch

Little Lamb said...

body part

Little Lamb said...

rev, you're with pug under the coats

puerileuwaite said...

i dunno. 20-thousand leagues under the sea? Raise the Titanic? Goliath Awaits? Free Willy?

Lamby, having "never been in that situation before",

;-)

I wouldn't know. What would YOU suggest that the 3 of us do?

Little Lamb said...

We could chat

puerileuwaite said...

Gotcha Lamby! The key is to pay attention to the squirting pattern. The "body part" has a more "focused" trajectory.

puerileuwaite said...

I was thinking of a pug sandwich.

Little Lamb said...

your male organ

puerileuwaite said...

Rev - I would scratch that itch. With my teeth.

Little Lamb said...

A pug sandwich of course you were.

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, you had me LMAO with that comment! You rock!

Little Lamb said...

which comment?

puerileuwaite said...

The male organ comment, you racy little thing you.

Little Lamb said...

I guessed right didn't I?

puerileuwaite said...

Okay Lamby, you win this round. But since it's best 20 out of 30, I'll get my chance to score.

Little Lamb said...

Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.

Willo Keays said...

Hi Lambo - Hi Rev!

pueril - what a nice blog you have here! Sorry about your hot tub - I have one in my backyard that I never use. You can have it.

The pile of coats - did Lambo get wool all over them?

Should I even ask about the loofah vs. body part comment?

Willo Keays said...

OH! duh!

congratulations on the new career move! Doesn't it feel great to walk in and say "I QUIT" ... then know that the next two weeks you can do whatever you want and no one can stop you!

Crashtest Comic said...

(no whiskey for me, dude.)

btw...yo mama jokes at my blog.
bring your best stuff, dudes!!!!

puerileuwaite said...

Willo - I may have to take you up on that someday. As long as /t. isn't floating in it. Oh, and don't mind the talk about coats and loofahs. We were trying to figure out the logistics of tub sex with Lamby in parallel with "under a bed of coats" sex with Rev. Then while I was busy trying to talk Lamby into a 3-way, I lost Rev to demands of the modern workplace in conjunction with an aversion to wool.

As far as quitting goes, unfortunately in my case the opposite may be true; as I'll likely have to work my ass off to extricate myself from this place.

puerileuwaite said...

Crash - Meet you there for a quick one. Then I need to turn in. Mondays are rough.

/t. said...

pug,

meant to say
on that first comment,
great post -- heckle & jeckle :)

perfect!

cool, too, about your job situation -- enjoy it & all best

/t.

GirlGoyle said...

Good for you Dear! I have to say that short of sex, quitting a crappy job and planning it and replaying it in your head a million times is the best feeling! Those who don't want you don't deserve you. When I told my old boss to go phuck himself I got in the car and sang the whole way home; school's out for-evah!! School's out you phuckah!!! At least you had the decency to give 2 weeks...I walked in, gave my resignation and said "I quit!" I still regret leaving them my old microwave. I should've taken that with me, and then a-la Office Space had a bash.

Pud said...

Just think of your new job as "fresh meat"...just think of all the new ladies that you will get to hit on and get all new restraining orders against you.

Good Luck!

DykesDog said...

Yeppie for you Puggy! A new Dog pound to errrr, ummmmmm ... well mark all over as your territory! You are such a better dog then I am ... I have had three jobs in all my doggie years ... I walked out on two and will die in the third ... I will never experience the thrill of walking around for two weeks barking my heart out!

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - I'm glad you liked the post. Thank you for the kind words.

Girlgoyle - I vividly remember what you went through, and was so happy for you when you were finally able to escape. Now that I've given notice, the spell that I put myself under (in order to cope with the shitty aspects of this situation) has worn off, and I can't get out of here quickly enough. But then I'll have to ignore the countless phone calls (to my home) for help, that are sure to follow. Right now, I prefer the gratification of fleeing this place to sex. And that in itself is a depressing thought! And finally, who knows? Perhaps your microwave will render all users' genitalia inoperable for pleasure!

Pud - I sure do like the way you think! So many women, so many restraining orders, so little time.

Dykesdog - I want the same thing (or at least I THINK I do). To ride out the rest of my career climbing the ladder in the same company. But it seems so tough to find one of "those" places these days. Way too many exploiters, inept managers, and disfunctional environments. But this new place at least holds promise, as it is a small, family run company with many long-time employees with low turnover. So we'll see.

Pud said...

So has your job counter-offered or are they telling you don't let the door hit your furry ass?

Party Girl said...

well, that is just most excellent! Excellent, I tell ya! Congrats, big time congrats!!!!

puerileuwaite said...

Pud - It's been quiet so far. They know very little about technical matters (and - despite my past efforts - cannot be brought up to sufficient speed), so it's always been difficult for them to accurately comprehend my value. They do realize they'd be (even more) foolish to not take advantage of my 2-week notice. Meanwhile, no response. And no apparent planning taking place, to prepare for life after my departure. In other words, picture Dilbert's boss. What these ostriches don't "get" is that once I'm gone, I won't be taking their calls. Not even for money. People can be so stupid. But one week from Friday, this will no longer be my problem!

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you, Party Girl. First Girlgoyle gets a new job, then you get a promotion and big salary increase, and now me. It pays to blog with the right crowd!

/t. said...

all i got
from blogging
with this crowd
is a rash

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Be grateful that's all you get. Some of us are DMV-positive.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

youd die for me /t??? hell, i got some dangerous tree work that needs attention. how are you with a chain saw at 130 feet in the wind??? (probably pretty good as all canandians are lumberjacks, eh?)

PW you all over it? like an untrained puppy on paper!

yeah i had a career change recently too. now im an "artist".... (unemployable)

if the new bob's respond with sexual favors i expect pictures. hi res por favor.

/grrr

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

i just read the thread. DO NOT allow the LAMB into a hot tub. dudes, you do NOT want to smell hot wool.

/grrrr

DykesDog said...

Puggy ... had a meeting with my Operations Dir today ... he is a ass ... I thought of your post while his anus hole moved while he talked to me ... just couldn't work myself up to the sexual favor request he made!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

85 comments??! What the fuck is all this horse shit?? Lambo and /t suck. The rest of you should be posting on MY blog!

puerileuwaite said...

K9 - We'll see. I can only "suggest" they perform oral sex on me. It doesn't mean that they will. But one can fantasize. And you're right about Lamby. Last time she got wet and sank right to the bottom under that weight. We were all drunk, so for awhile we thought somebody threw a large bath mat into the tub. Whew! Lucky she's still alive.

Dykedog - What happened? Did the jerk REALLY sexually harrass you? Just say the word, and we - your "SuperBlogFriends" - will converge on the "Show Me State" like stank on poop, and sodomize him with a broomstick. (I'm stuffing Kleenex into my shirt to make myself look more formidable ... whattayaknow ... I have enough left over for my pants ... this time I'll stuff it towards the FRONT ...). No one is allowed to harrass you unless it's me or a cute lesbian that we can double up on.

puerileuwaite said...

Why be jealous of your own affiliate? Clown, you should be proud of my popularity. Okay, I'll try to convince some of my readers to stop by your place with some pity comments.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

i did tivist your moneky allilfate but the flashing lights triggered my dyslexai.

/howl

puerileuwaite said...

K9 - Perhaps it's better this way. Hope your writing recovers.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

nice dig!!!!
grrrrrrherherhaha



/grrrrrr

Little Lamb said...

Why should I post on Wimpy's blog?

Willo Keays said...

Can't I just stalk you both peacefully - without all the jealousy?

RevRee said...

Dear lord, what have I done...

Crashtest Comic said...

grrrrrrrrowl

puerileuwaite said...

Hey guys and gals.

leelee said...

reading these comments is rather like a Fellini movie..I'm a big fan of Fellini by the way.

Oh and congrats on the new job P..

RevRee said...

Don't speak to me

Little Lamb said...

Hi pug!

What's the matter Rev?

puerileuwaite said...

Hi Leelee - I learn something new every day on the blogs. I thought Fellini was a little fall, in Italian.

Thanks Leelee. I'll fill you in later on the specifics.

puerileuwaite said...

What's wrong, Rev? Is it me?

Willo Keays said...

I think it's me, pueri.

puerileuwaite said...

How do, Lambycakes!

leelee said...

[scratching head, looking confused] hmmmm...well it seems then you HAVE learned something new on the blogs today..I could enrich and enlighten :-)

Yes do fill me in on the specifics..I'm happy for you.

puerileuwaite said...

I have enough love to go around, ladies!

Little Lamb said...

I'm sure you do pug. You are adorable

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Usually the only thing I can get enriched around here is my bread! And don't be confused. All you have to do is open a can of paint thinner and set it close to your keyboard. Soon you will sink down to our level of enlightenment.

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, it looks like it's just you and me, babe.

Little Lamb said...

just the two of us

puerileuwaite said...

So, what are you wearing?

Little Lamb said...

my jammies you?

/t. said...

a flea collar?

Little Lamb said...

possibly, but what else?

tfg said...

Word to the wise--don't ever consider a counteroffer.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - No offence (note the funky Canadian spelling) dude. But everytime you jump in when I'm casting my spell on Lamby, I have to restart the "Let's Get It On" record. Isn't there a curling tourney you could be watching?

puerileuwaite said...

TFG - Good to hear from you, especially on this topic. No friggin' way I'd do that. They had MANY chances to secure my long-term loyalty (which I would have preferred. The trust is gone. Plus, once I accept an offer, my word is my bond.

Little Lamb said...

Aren't you scared to leave?

puerileuwaite said...

Jammies sound ... so ... sexy? Me? I'm wearing my lambs' wool slippers, English Leather, and nothing else.

Little Lamb said...

You don't know what the future holds, but if someone offered you a job and it sounds like they did, go for it. Just don't burn any bridges.

puerileuwaite said...

No. Not in my situation. It's extremely clear this is the right move, for many, many reasons.

puerileuwaite said...

No, I haven't burnt my bridges. In fact, I'm still working as I'm writing this comment. The tough part will be totally freeing myself of this place.

Little Lamb said...

And it sounds like you're leaving the right way. Good dog.

Little Lamb said...

You're at work still?

/t. said...

what about
the english lather?

are you shaving?

/t.

RevRee said...

ha ha ha it's not you puerileuwaitesjdkjfs or you willo. (why the hell would it be???)

I've had a very unpleasant day. I hate everyone today!

Kiss my half black ass!!!!!!

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - Why, thank you. Yes, I'm still here. At least for the next 15-minutes or so.

/t. - No, it's English LEATHER. Don't you remember the classic commercial (they sometimes replay it on Nick At Night)? A hot blonde purrs, "All my men wear English Leather, or nothing at all". Geez, and here I thought Canadians were extremely sophisticated.

Rev - With pleasure, babe. Then let me turn the other cheek and repeat the process. (See my response, BTW.)

Little Lamb said...

You are a workaholic

puerileuwaite said...

No Lamby, not hardly. But my current work situation is rather unusual.

Since I need to use my Internet connection for something else, and alos turn in, I'll say goodnight. See you in the AM, Lamby, Rev and the rest of my favorite peeps.

Little Lamb said...

good night pug, see you tomorrow.

Bella Page said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
puerileuwaite said...

Un momento! I saw that! Who are you, mystery woman who goes by the name "Bella Page"?!

Bella Page said...

LOL shhhhh it is a secret!

Bella Page said...

Let's just say DykesDog sent me over ... so you would not be a confused lesbian anymore :)!

puerileuwaite said...

Bella, why do I suddenly feel like the Richard Dreyfus character from "American Graffiti", trying to track down that elusive blonde in the T-Bird?

puerileuwaite said...

Au contrare, my sweet Bella. I've been practicing on ice cream cones. I'm a confident lesbian!

Bella Page said...

Awwwwww, and I bet you can make them melt in your mouth. What a sweet lesbian you are!

puerileuwaite said...

Well I DO have my moments. Just once it'd be great if I had a witness in the room. And I don't mean that Amish kid from the movie, "Witness", either.

Ice cream cones are naturally frigid, so I truly believe I'm ready for the real enchilada.

puerileuwaite said...

Oh, and I was really bummed when I found out Sarah Mclaughlin was straight. So that should be good for a few extra lesbian "authenticity" points as well. Just sayin'.

puerileuwaite said...

Oh shit. I drove her away with my Sarah Mclaughlin comment. I'm an IDIOT!!! (Shouted as I violently turn my head to the right, just as I've seen Napolean Dynamite do. I suppose I could've done worse. Lucky I didn't lead with, "Yeah, two of the gangs here at school wanted me to join, because of my well-known mastery of the nun-chucks".)

miss_lissa said...

Dude, you totally cheesed out on the Sarah comment but you know... it'll stay with just the two of us. ;)

Damn- looks like I'm the one who missed the party...139 comments later.

Well Pug, congrats on the big fuck you! you handed your company.
Feels good don't it?

& Yeah, it's too bad I'm not blogging over here on blogger anymore.. but I have a new home now. All the cool kids know the link.

Willo Keays said...

Rev - I'll hug your half-black person - but I'm not kissing your bum!

{{{{{REV}}}}

My daddy always said a good bear hug heals all!

leelee said...

VOTE FOR PEDRO

DykesDog said...

LOL, Puggy she only comes out at night, after a couple glasses of wine ... and Sarah Mclaughlin is a lesbian ... she only married so that people would THINK she was like all of you!

puerileuwaite said...

Miss_Lissa -

I'm not too worried about the comment. Relationships take work; lesbian relationships more so, as one also needs proficient prop-handling-skills.

You're never too late for my parties. We're just sobering up for the next round of debauchery.

And yes, it does feel good. Not that I'm deluded into believing that the morons at the top truly give a shit, one way or the other. They just make the little people down below suffer and absorb any blame. But it is nice to be (almost) free of them.

Re: your new home: as one of the cool kids, I knew that. But somehow I seem to have "misplaced" the link. Oh well, I'll be on the lookout for it.

puerileuwaite said...

Willo - Way to make up. Can I film it, if things start to get racy?

Leelee - Pedro offers you his protection.

Dykesdog - I only pretended to be gay, so I could be like all of you! This is SO like trying to nail Jello to the wall. People, would you please TRY to agree on what you want? Geez. Why I even bother is beyond me.

Pud said...

Gonzo!

puerileuwaite said...

Gonzo, indeed!

Party Girl said...

us black sheep are good together.

puerileuwaite said...

Party Girl - That, we are. I was wondering when you'd get around to noticing. (Now was this a pick up line ... or not? I CAN be pretty dense.)

Little Lamb said...

So pug, what bloggerz do you think you lost?

puerileuwaite said...

They all seem to be accounted for. I must have been delirious. Most likely as a result of your shameless flirting, Lamby.

Little Lamb said...

I'm so sorry. I won't let it happen again. :(

If you should loose any bloggers you can always still visit them.

Little Lamb said...

I guess with me being the 150th poster does't earn me anything does it?

puerileuwaite said...

Unfortunately not, Lamby. You see, much like in the case of the clown's Google ad fiasco, you don't get anything for cheating. As you and /t. are perhaps responsible for 50-80 of these comments, you both are not eligible for any prizes. Other than the ultimate prize of getting to interact with yours truly.

/t. said...

and
that's enough,
right little lamb?

thank you, pug!

thank you!

/t.

Little Lamb said...

I suppose so. Gee I thought you'd at least make mad passionate love to me for 150 minutes, but your loss.

/t. said...

or maybe
not enough

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - It's so refreshing to FINALLY get some appreciation around here.

Lamby - I'm disappointed that you would limit me to ONLY 150 minutes. Together we could generate offspring at a much quicker pace than the illustrious Mr. /t.

/t. said...

let me guess...

weeks vs months?

/t.

DykesDog said...

LOL, Puggy you are so adorable! I love that you are a puppy that is not afraid to be your puppy self! You can be like me all you wanna be! I in turn will try to be more like you, well minus some subtle body parts! Vote Pug!

Little Lamb said...

/t. knows how to satisfy me.

/t. said...

and
for $10CDN
sent to the
address on my blog
mo'po i am willing to tell all

/t.

miss_lissa said...

next round of debauchery~ yer my kind of pug!
yeah relationships do take work so does avoiding them though... its loose loose no matter how you look at it.
Lesbian relationships are actually easier than you'd expect but thats just you looking in. If I didn't like men so much I probably would bat for the other side. (again)

and regarding my new home: "misplaced" my ass!! lol

puerileuwaite said...

Da pug is back in da house! Sounds like something Crash would write, no?

Well, why SHOULDN'T I steal from him? I stongly suspect his next show (Kukla, Fran and Ali?) will be crafted(?) entirely from my material. Oh course they'll insist on a 6-drink minimum. And use of restraints.

Is there a lawyer in the crowd? No, I mean a REAL Attorney. Not one of us "clubhouse lawyers". I need to know: is it possible to sue for "blog copyright infringement"? How about for theft of "intellectual material" (before you insult this remark, you may first wisely choose to comply with the aforementioned 6-drink minimum).

I've been thinkin' that perhaps we can all just live in my comments section. Oh, I see some of you already are. When's the last time you people actually WASHED those sleeping bags?

Well, I see you've been busy further defiling my blog in my absence. So allow me to catch up.

***

/t. - "Weeks" is right. I'm a free-range heartland sexual dynamo. All of those incessant 4-H activities and fairs have honed my skill set to the extent that I can spot ovulating livestock from the dirt road leading in. Let me tell you. It's paid tremendous dividends in the product of my prodigious ability to multiply. The subtraction of a conscience in addition to my sociopathetic compulsions quickly yields fields of offspring. Whew! I think I need a cigarette now! (Not really)

Dykesdog - Do you know what you've DONE?! I am now compelled to light candles and pleasure myself to Peter Frampton's "I'm In You" while I keep re-reading your last comment. (Truth or Dare: "Does yours truly really like that sappy song? --- Truth! I do! Really.). I think that we should encourage our molecules to merge through epidermic friction while listening to The Eurythmic's "We Too Are One". We can rewrite the song to include Bella, if need be.

Lamby -

S
t
o
p

playing

w
i
t
h
my

h
e
a
r
t
!

I know you're just trying to make me jealous!

/t. - Wouldn't it be easier if I just ordered a plate of French cuisine, and rearranged it in an even more non-sensical pattern? Then photographed it, ran it through an algorithm along with the image of plane wreckage, and then posted it in your honor? Customs is a bitch!

Miss_Lissa - A very astute observation. This is why - just like in politics (an equally disgusting venue) - somewhere in the middle is the lesser of all evils. Why not have a psuedo-relationship? Here's how it works. Have one night stands with anonymous good-looking* (*which can be compensated for with alcohol and poor lighting) strangers. While you're intermingling precious fluids through the process of reverse and conventional osmosis, think about bloggers that you'd prefer to hook up with (ahem); but prefer not to because the inevitable back end of the relationship bell-curve will render future blogging with them ... both tedious and annoying.

Note to self: NEVER comment after a few whiskeys.

Little Lamb said...

Pug you're right to tell me to stop playing with your heart. I don't know what I want from you and whatever it is you may not be able to give it to me. Tell ya what. We will stay friends. But maybe that's all it should be. I gotta be me and yuo gotta be you and there's no changing that. We have the blogging buddies we hav and we want to keep each one. I don't know if any of this is making sense or not. Let's just see what developes naturally between us. I do have mixed emotions concerning you . Friends?

/t. said...

a
dear john
blog
from a lamb
to a dog

i laughed, i cried, two thumbs up for a gripping performance

/t.

Little Lamb said...

He's not getting a dear john letter from me.

/t. said...

he just did
little miss
"let's be friends"
.
.
.
the poor pug is probably crying his soft big brown eyes out even as we speak, if he isn't licking his butt or doing something even more disgusting...

sorry, pug, poor little guy...

/t.

Little Lamb said...

No, he didn't. I'm not saying I'm leaving let's be friends. I'm staying and he and I can be friends.

/t. said...

good luck

/t.

Little Lamb said...

thanks

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby - Of course. You are a good blog friend. That's all I'm "in the market" for, anyway. I like my anonymity. And I look forward to visiting with my blog buds every day. It obviously fills a need that real life doesn't (but it shouldn't be a substitute, either).

/t. - So what if it's self-serve at the Quickie-Mart again tonight?
Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can.

Little Lamb said...

Am I getting to mushy?

miss_lissa said...

Pug: I've done that.
After my marriage ended I was a major slut.
See~ I have enough self confidence to call myself that. S'all good.

I love the scientific attempt at having sex with strangers... osmosis... you're silly.

right now I'm in a *well* truly I don't know what the fuck to call it. No seriously, it's fucked up. I'd love to share the det's with you but I'm sure you truly don't care.
hahahaha....

fuck, thats sad.

Oh and yay booze- high five on that one- I've got my handy wine glass here. It's nearing empty though.
Maybe the whole drinkin my misery thing away isn't so hot.
Oh look... I'm blabbering on your blog.
annoyed yet?

miss_lissa said...

oh and I'm completely insulted you didn't touch "my ass" comment last time there.

and now hahaha I just said touch my ass...

uhh, I should go.

puerileuwaite said...

No Lamby, you're okay. I just don't want to lead you on. But you are sweet, and you make me laugh.

Willo Keays said...

Lambo - Pug fed me the same line this morning.

But I have to tell you - virtual buddies are some of the best. Though ... many are VERY confusing.

I've given up on virtual relationships myself. Men in general are Pigs ... I think I'll just purchase a home in the Biltmore Forest and become a Hermit.

Hmmm ... this would all make a good blog topic ... let me stop befor eI give away all my material - Pug might steal it and commit Copywrite infringment.

/t. said...

willo
knows it...

all men are pigs!

i know it... and i'll bet there's plenty of others out there who are in total agreement -- a quick tally, then -- all in agreement -- can we have a quick show of tits...

/t.

/t. said...

stole that
from some poor,
hard working sob
of a comic...

/t.

Bella Page said...

I have a bottle of wine here, the
Eurythmic's and a couple of candles lit, but no puggy :(

puerileuwaite said...

Miss_Lissa - Well this is rather awkward. Me feeling like I should apologize for NOT making a comment about your ass! I think I glossed over it because I was a little hurt that I wasn't invited to the new place. But if I AM invited to touch your ass, then I forgive you.

As penance, I'll listen to Joanie Jett's "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" five times in a row. Kind of a rock 'n' roll rosary for our crowd.

And I must admit that I AM curious about what you're "in" right now. So don't hold back because you don't think that I'd care. But you may not want to share because I'm me. But then again you may want to, because I'm the next "Dear Abby" of the blog world, and you can proudly boast that you were one of the "first ones whose life I ruined".

Drinking and blogging do seem to go together nicely. I should be there, drinking YOUR booze and touching YOUR ass (instead of my own, on both counts).

Good night. Sleep tight.

Little Lamb said...

Hushie, it's lamby not lambo. lamby lamby lamby

Pug is full of lines and is a flirt. Aknd I better not start flirting with him again so soon after I said we'd be friends.

Hushie, I have found what I'm looking for online in /t. But don't tell him that.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - This isn't like you at all. You're acting only 3-dimensional! BTW, men can be PUGS, too.

Bella - You're just like those cheerleaders at school who only pretended they wanted me. They'd get naked, and then quickly get dressed again. This is upsetting. We could be practicing the "Eurythmic method". Oh, now you've done it. I'm getting emotionally distraught. Damn! Here comes the rain again!

puerileuwaite said...

Hey Willo! Can I come visit you in the forest sometime?

puerileuwaite said...

I need to do a new post ...

/t. said...

new post --

GREAT!

good time to plug
for the competition...

apocalypse now
playing at k9's

end of the world
as you never imagined


SPARRING K9

we return you now to regular programming

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - You killed me with that one! Same as it ever was ... same as it ever was ...

/t. said...

i got
a million
of them...

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - I'm sure you do. But must you try to use them all on one post? ;-)

jmeped said...

I don't have time to read this bs comment section. WTF? 189? Anyway congratulations on finding someone who is not immune to your bs! Hope the job goes as you hope it goes. Maybe there could be a lap dancer in the break room....

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped, it's a quaint(?) little flower shop in Georgia. From what I hear, there a sexy new chick there who takes care of the break room duties that you mentioned ;-)

Glad to have you back.

Little Lamb said...

Yes, pug, you need to do a new post and I won't post so much with your next one.

Little Lamb said...

Or at least I'll try not to,if that's what you want.

/t. said...

i can
pick up
the slack,
little lamb

my last vacation to podunk, saskatchewan was amazing -- i have 1,500 pictures of the grain elevator, and all different(!) -- will be happy to mesmerize readers of this blog with my penetrating descriptions and cryptic wit

/t.

Little Lamb said...

That's not up to us, /t., this is not our blog. This blog belongs to pug. You'll have to ask him what he wants.

Should we take our show on the road?

What do y'all think?

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - You had me at "grain". Since I figured (and hoped) the next word would be "alcohol".

Lamby - You two have grown on me. Comment away!

/t. said...

we go
where
our unique
qualities & talents
are appreciated, little lamb -- the pug is coming around, and in time, his readers will come to adore us, too

oh, hey pug

/t.

Party Girl said...

*hits you in the forehead with a boob*

Um, yeah, it was.

puerileuwaite said...

Yes! I FINALLY got Party Girl to hit on me! We'll have to give Jay and Trapped their walking papers.

(Twirling around the room, singing "Fell in Love with a Girl")

Okay, I'm back.

It was my NEW job, wasn't it? You now see me as less of a schlep, don't you? Why didn't ANYBODY bother to tell me how hot women are attracted to money and power?

And here I was, working on my blog and developing my personality; thinking that's ALL I needed. What a colossal waste of time!

Thank you, Party Girl. I needed that. See you at your blog.

leelee said...

200...wow I always wanted to do that

Deb: And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon Dynamite: I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.

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