Thursday, November 02, 2006

Random Musings

Howdy folks,

I have a few yeasty ideas fermenting, but need a bit more time in order to distill them into the high quality feature-length posts that you've come to expect from yours truly. So in the interim I would like introduce a concept that is brand new to the world of blogging. I call it (drum roll please) ... "Random Musings". Think of this revolutionary format as a couple* (* this time, just to give you a "taste") of "mini-posts" in one convenient offering.

So here goes.

You've probably been wondering what exciting and mystical new adventures and experiences I've encountered during the past two weeks (and if I've been alive to enjoy them). During which time, I've managed to extrude only two new posts. Well wonder no more! Today I will share some truly amazing observations from the "Great Southwest" version of The Odyssey.

***

Observation #1: Tightly focused business concepts may be viable in today's "boom" economy.

This morning I was snugly ensconced* (* love that word, BTW) in stop-and-go traffic, when I noticed a white commercial van for a company called, "Dryer Vent Specialists". Needless to say, I was enthralled (I am "cat-like", that way). Who knew that the seemingly trivial and oft-overlooked world of dryer venting could produce a vertical market worthy of at least one commercial van roaming hither and yon, tending to its needs? Certainly not this pug.

Makes me wonder if there are other mechanical orifices that could justify other start-ups. Other than ductwork cleaning, of course, which is already taken. Ditto for chimneys.

How about tail pipes? I already know a whole bunch of folks I'd like to see sucking on one. Why not hire them to perform this task as part of their job description, and therefore benefit in no less than TWO ways?

***

Observation #2: It pays to pay close attention to radio commercials.

I've been getting more into radio commercials lately as a form of mental exercise in order to combat the effects of automotive solitary confinement. I evaluate them against a proprietary multi-layered assessment model and once the various metrics are carefully weighed and tallied, assign a grade which I almost immediately forget.

But there was a commercial today that I vowed to remember for this post. It was for Wrangler Jeans, with the tag line, "Wrangler Jeans: the official jeans of Dale Earnhardt, Jr.". This got me to thinking, what if I HADN'T paid such close attention? Quite possibly I would've missed the "Jr." at the end of Dale Earnhardt, and assumed that Dale Earnhardt Sr. (who I'm guessing didn't go by "Sr." until "Jr." was born) was the official endorser of Wrangler Jeans.

Then I wondered what THIS incorrect assumption would imply. That he was buried in a pair of Wranglers? Frankly, this scenario would creep me out. A decomposing body in a pair of Wranglers would leave me hesitant - at best - to run to WalMart in order to snap up a pair, despite my love of "Forensic Files" and "Psychic Detectives".

Or rather, like the deity that many NASCAR fans project him to be, did he rise from the dead in order to shill for one last staple from redneck culture (Obligatory Disclaimer: I own approximately 5-pairs of Wrangler Jeans, enough to outfit the entire starting unit of the Memphis Grizzlies if they ever go line dancing)?

It's a moot point for this particular radio LISTENER, as I conclusively know that his SON is the Wrangler Jeans official endorser.

***

Stay tuned for future "Random Musings", and thanks for watching!

.

45 comments:

Little Lamb said...

Wow, Pug! I didn't know Dale Jr wore Wranglers. It does kind of make you wonder if Dale Sr. did too.

flic said...

Be sure to never listen to the radio (commercials) for an extended period of time without a tin-foil beanie covering the crown, forehead, back and temples of your head.

Pud said...

I like the musings. Keep it up because it is the only way we get a glimpse into that mind of yours.

puerileuwaite said...

Little Lamb - It sure does. I barely slept at all, as my mind continuously raced through the entire gamut of denim probabilities.

***

Flic - I'm with you on that one. Plus, I find that other motorists give me a nice "cushion" when I do have it on. Our society, despite the erosion of morals in general, seems to still have a healthy reverance for scientists.

***

Pud - Thank you sexy. I much prefer your approach to the one where people want to drill into my head.

miss_lissa said...

Down in the States, you guys have these 24 hr Wal-marts (which btw we Canadians think is quite the novelty. It's what keeps us crossing the border) anyway, back in July when things were good with my old roomie and I, we went across the border on a Fri. night to have a night out somewhere different and ended up strolling into one of these Wal-Marts somewhere round one in the morning.
Of course I'd been drinking... so it was quite the experience. :)

Anyways, we were quite taken away with how obsessed with NasCar you guys are and apparently it gets worse the further south you go. We saw jr on a display for Wranglers and we even bought bakes beans.. BEANS!! with nascar dudes on em. (we bought the beans because it made me feel trashy. lol)

anyway, the point I'm getting at is...
do you really buy your jeans at WalMart?

/t. said...

wow,
miss lissa's
story is so engaging,
and all i have to offer:

dale who?

/t.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

the official jean of a sportsman who sits on his ass! maybe theres a dovetail here in jean wearing and pipe sucking. now dickies jeans have good spokesmen: bull riders!

/grrrr

limpy99 said...

I for one will not wear any jeans that are not endorsed by a race car driver.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I took a few classes in dryer ventology when I was in college. I dropped out after I flunked the midterm on lint.

puerileuwaite said...

Miss_Lissa - To yours truly, Walmart is a litmus test for the type of drinking you've been doing. You see, Walmart is for the "energetic" drunk. Someone with nervous - still looking to get laid that evening - energy that is further boosted by the alcohol.

One needs that energy and angst in order to stumble along the 1/4 mile or so from the nearest parking spot into the store. Once inside, it's at least another 1/4 mile from Item-A to Item-B, then another 1/8 of a mile to checkout.

Since Canada is "metric", this throws everything off completely. Hence the reason that Walmart has yet to go "third world" into England-West.

Personally I think NASCAR is incredibly tedious. But as a placebo for the redneck masses (BTW this reminds me how glad I am that the rest of us don't have placebos), I suppose it does have merit. Less cows get tipped, and there are likely far fewer hunting accidents as a result.

Congratulations are in order for discovering my secret for long car trips: beans. We could be making some beautiful music together.

I only purchased my Wranglers at Walmart, which are low cost jeans that are ideal for dirty jobs, such as working on cars, construction, working outdoors, and reading YOUR blog. I wear Levi's for dressier occasions, and I also have Carhart insulated* (* they're lined with flannel! warm and comfy!) jeans for cold winter days and nights.

***

./t - Simply asking "Dale who?" in some southern states (and Lamby's town) would likely result in your lynching.

***

k9 - But then, one would HAVE to be a tough S.O.B. to wear Dickies. Or at least be immune to the incessant double-entendres. I'm just not man enough to confidently wear them. I can tell that you are a true salesman and/or marketeer by virtue of your use of "dovetail".

***

Limpy - Bold statement! I'll go even further than that. I will not purchase any soiled jeans on eBay that were not worn by Danica Patrick.

***

Mighty D - Don't beat yourself up over it. Many of us were screened out during the lint midterms. Carbon Monoxide took care of the rest. Dryer venting is not for the faint of heart.

Anonymous said...

Radio commercials are a major source of brain damage. I suggest you desist for the sake of your sanity. If you find yourself humming jingles for no apparent reason, then it's definitely time to turn off the radio.

Little Lamb said...

/t. just better not ask any of Dale Sr's fans.

leelee said...

Dear Pug...it's officially time for you to invest in satellite radio for your car...once you subscribe i guarantee you will never listen to commerical radio again. You KNOW I am a big fan of XM.

Is NASCAR those fast car races? I see people with those 8's and 3's on their cars. I always wondered..

puerileuwaite said...

Lexcen - Fortunately my brain has already been cauterized from countless hours of talk and sports radio. So I am fairly immune to commercial jingles. On the other hand, I do hum "Rock and Roll, Part II" constantly. Which some people find annoying.

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Yes, that would be them. Dale Sr. was number 3. They didn't want to mentally challenge race fans too much, so Dale Jr. went with "8", which simply requires the completion of two ovals. Or, as I like to call them: laps.

You may also see the occasional sticker of Calvin (from that godawful Calvin & Hobbes comic strip) on the same back window as the 3 or the 8 (real fans will have the three in the left corner, and the 8 in the right). Calvin will either be pissing on a Chevy, Ford or Dodge symbol; or praying at a grave.

At that is basically all you need to know, in order to spot "free-range" NASCAR fans in the wild.

jmeped said...

I like your little musing. I don't think walmart jeans make my ass look good....

leelee said...

I've seen that Calvin guy peeing on things....what gives? Does he pee before or after praying?? So many questions!!!!

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

your description of a free ranging NASCAR truck is inspired. dead on funny. never thought about why the placement of the numbers were so uniform. never occurred to me it was a *thing*

you could say ive been cauterized (good one PW) on truck emblems....i forgot all about the calvin praying now im all focused on the sticker with the coon hound climbing up a tree.

/grr

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped - Then we'll have to remove them immediately.

***

Leelee - Presumably he prays afterward. If it is before, then hopefully he washes his hands first.

***

k9 - Thanks. I haven't spotted the coon hound climbing a tree yet. I'll keep my eyes peeled for it.

Enemy of the Republic said...

This is a fine way to write. I just started it myself in previous posts, using the third person. Right now my thoughts are too focused on my workload to be random. I look forward to freedom.

puerileuwaite said...

Enemy - I had/have to do something in order to find a way to be more consistent. Besides, it seems that the less effort I put into my posts, the better they are received. But that may just be my laziness talking.

Bella Page said...
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Bella Page said...
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Bella Page said...

My Studly Puggy! I missed you so while I was gone. We have a Speedway here in Kansas City. Those Nascar people drive me nuts when they are here! They are talking about building a Wal Mart next to the Hooters that is already by the Speedway! Who says that Kansas isn't a progressive state! I like this posting idea, BTW.

puerileuwaite said...

Bella - Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I get that a lot. Usually by people trying to convince ME to go absent for awhile. Just don't admit that you cheated on me while you were gone. It would "crush" me (just like in that Dave Matthews Band song; the name of which escapes me at present).

A speedway, Hooters, AND a Walmart? To heck with the Catholics! To us heathen rednecks, THAT is the Holy Trinity.

Bella Page said...

Puggy, You know that I would never, never, ever cheat on you with any man, err, Pug. I so forgot to mention to you, that I love that you started this post with, "Howdy"!

/t. said...

UPDATE

ok, i saw that ad
for wrangler jeans
with dale e jr while
watching decorating shows on hgtv

shades of ralph kramden, he's a bus driver from florida!

/t.

limpy99 said...

You can have Danica's jeans as long as I get her frilly unmentionables. And "free-range NASCAR fans"? That idea gets me hot. Where's my pistol?

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

you sure get a lot of wimmen over here...with great lookin avatars. (soft) grrrrr.

/grrr

puerileuwaite said...

Bella - Thanks. It's so good to have you back.

***

/t. - I haven't seen that one yet. I must be watching the wrong shows. But on ESPN they have a segment where he's under the counter in a cube, attempting to add more horsepower to a computer.

***

Limpy - As long as you don't attempt to actually wear them, I don't have a problem with it.

Be careful with those free-range NASCAR types. Rather than get into specifics, I recommend that you watch the original "Walking Tall" with Joe Don Baker; just so you know what you may be getting into.

***

k9 - My theory? They come here for the soft* (* meaning fur, not the private parts), cuddly and non-threatening banter that this pug is able to provide on demand. I'm approachable, yet cruelly inaccessable.

Bella Page said...

Our electric bill would be low!

leelee said...

VOTE!!

leelee said...

VOTE!!

freya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
K9 said...

/bark bark bark

oh man i loved walking tall with joe don baker. where in the hell did they find the people who played the "bar folk" in that movie? good - lookin bunch. probably YOUR wal-mart pug. or extras off the set of deliverance. /howl

I'm furry dammit! but also not soft /howl

/grrr

jmeped said...

This Yeast has been fermenting so long we could have beer and bread by now! Where are you?

miss_lissa said...

Funny Puggy,

nice joke on my site btw. It gave me a giggle.

So beans hey? well thats cool. I eat a lot of bean varieties (eyebrow raised) due to the fact that I don't eat a lot of red meat. However "out of a can" is generally applied to chick peas only. In fact, I think I still have one of those walmart cans kicking around in the cupboard.

I was very drunk that night.
And I bought a lot of useless shit... like the beans, sugared cereal, some weird looking juices and Pirates of the Caribean fruit snacks...

oh and the coolest things ever:
Rainbow coloured goldfish crackers.

So not only are you feeding your kids that cheese flavoured cracker goodness but you're stuffing them full of food dyes.

America is such an amazing country!

oh and rrrrrrrow fleece jeans just make a Canadian girl so hot!!

(or not...)

Anonymous said...

Pug- Yeasty ideas??? (something on the rise???
Sucking tailpipes? (ewwww)
Dale Earnhardt, Jr ??? (he's cool)
I'm "Amused" by the "Randomness" of this post :P

About the pooch-
K9 has a soft place behind his ears :)
(soft)/grrrrr :)

puerileuwaite said...

Bella - The idea of low electric bills totally turns me on. We'd be way to busy generating our own heat to worry about bill paying, anyway.

***

Leelee - I did! Waited over 2-hours in line for the privilege, too. Straight Democrat, baby! Yeooeooeooeooeooeh! Howard Dean lives!

***

k9 - I have absolutely no idea where they found all of those handsome devils. Canada, perhaps?

***

Jmeped - Ever since finding out how loaded (3-TV sets? One a whooping 65 inches!? Who ARE you really, Ellie Mae Clampett?) you are (in addition to being stacked), I've been working around the clock in order to impress you with my material wealth. My blogging has suffered, but what really counts is impressing you with my wad (of cash).

***

Miss_Lissa - It might be a good idea to stay well under your red meat quota until I come to visit. Oh, and go light on the beans as well.

***

Fair Mayden - I'm glad you liked the post. But I'm not entirely comfortable with your "soft in the head" comment at our dear k9's expense. I'll go ahead and assume you were joking.

leelee said...

WAY TO GO PUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

miss_lissa said...

Duly noted.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

pug check your email

/grrr

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Thanks

***

Miss_Lissa - Alrighty then

***

k9 - I did. THAT was priceless. Thanks!

Bella Page said...

You need to carry your little Puggy legs to Kansas and kill my little friend!

puerileuwaite said...

Bella - If I go that far, I plan on going farther than that.