Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A Special Post for Virginity


U.K. schoolgirl loses ‘virginity ring’ court battle
Lydia Playfoot says ring should be exempt from school ban on jewelry


LONDON - A teenager whose teachers had stopped her from wearing a “purity ring” at school to symbolize her commitment to virginity has lost a High Court fight against the ban. Lydia Playfoot, 16, says her silver ring is an expression of her faith and had argued in court that it should be exempt from school regulations banning the wearing of jewelry.

“I am very disappointed by the decision this morning by the High Court not to allow me to wear my purity ring to school as an expression of my Christian faith not to have sex outside marriage,” Playfoot said in a statement Monday. “I believe that the judge’s decision will mean that slowly, over time, people such as school governors, employers, political organizations and others will be allowed to stop Christians from publicly expressing and practicing their faith.”

Playfoot’s legal challenge was the latest in a series of disputes in British schools in recent years over the right of pupils to wear religious symbols or clothing, such as crucifixes and veils. Last year, the Law Lords rejected Shabina Begum’s appeal for permission to wear a Muslim gown at her school in Luton. That case echoed a debate in France over the banning of Muslim headscarves in state schools.

Playfoot’s parents are key members of the British arm of the American chastity campaign group the Silver Ring Thing, a religious group which urges abstinence among young people.

Those who sign up wear a ring on the third finger of the left hand. It is inscribed with “Thess. 4:3-4,” a reference to a Biblical passage from Thessalonians which reads: “God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin.” During the case, Playfoot’s lawyers argued that the ban by her school in Horsham, West Sussex, breached her human rights to “freedom of thought, conscience and religion” which are protected by the European Convention on Human Rights.

Lawyers for the school denied discrimination and said the purity ring breached its rules on wearing jewelry. They said allowances were made for Muslim and Sikh pupils only for items integral to their religious beliefs and that, for the same reason, crucifixes were also allowed. But it argued that the purity ring was not an integral part of the Christian faith.

Playfoot said in her statement she would consult her legal team to consider whether to appeal.

***



The Pug Responds

I would like to start off by thanking Puerileuwaite, my "brother from another mother", for allowing me the use of his blog in order to express my outrage. This time, my target is the aforementioned Reuters story from today's MSN. Now open your hymenals to page 69.

To begin, what kind of name is "Lydia Playfoot"? You're putting me on, right? Or, since you're from England, rather should I say, "What's all this, then?". Thanks but no thanks to that name. Not when "Linda Lovelace" is already a firmly entrenched part of the Pug's daily lexicon. And what is the origin of "Playfoot", anyway? I can't avoid the image of that erotic Jennifer-Beals'-footsie-teasing-the-man's-groin-under-the-table-scene from "Flashdance" as I read your surname, Lydia.

And let me be among the first (of many to follow; of that I am quite sure) to conversely impart my disappointment in your desire to wear a ring as a symbol of your aversion to sex. This is an affront to the multitudes who haved EARNED that right through the sanctimonious binds of marriage.

Hold on un momento: did you actually disparage the fine human beings who serve as school governors, employers and in political organizations? Just because lions were once turned on the Christians for savage amusement, it doesn't mean these folks' lion-sized appetites for illicit sex will result in a renewed open season on Christians. In fact, many of these same upstanding and perfectly erect citizens may be church members, elders, priests and pastors that you embrace. You never know.

Now I don't want you to think that the Pug is a hardass. Even though I don't hold your beliefs, I will defend to the death your right to argue them with me over a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 in a secluded conversation spot. Of course I debate much better when my body's vital pathways are not constricted by items of clothing most likely produced by non-Christian heathens in hedonist countries. There. That's better.

Anyway, as I was saying, I would allow any kook to wear or do any damned thing they want. Take Shabina, for example. I'd go as far to say that I'd personally enjoy nuzzlin' that Muslim. And why? I like her name. Shabina. Why, she could be the object of desire in a vintage 50's doo-wop song. "Sha-bina! That scarf makes you too mean-a. Come and be my Queen-a. Let me introduce you to my w ... ". Anyhoo, you get the point.

Oh, and the following line from the article is priceless: "PlayFOOT’s parents are key MEMBERs of the British ARM of the American chasTITy campaign group the Silver Ring THING". Did you spot ALL of the various embedded body parts? (Tip for undiagnosed dyslexics: LIVER is not one of them. Go get help.)

Anyway, I think I made my point. Allow me to leave you with this (potentially legs) parting final thought: if - heaven forbid - you die while still a virgin, AND Al Qaeda turns out to be right, you will be aiding and a-bedding a terrorist, ringo.

***

(Disclaimer: this blog and it's owner do not necessarily agree with, or endorse, the Pug's rebuttal. But we will fight to the death his right to sway the occasional virgin. However, if any readers do agree with the Pug and want to show your support, purchase, wear and frequently use one of those novelty ring whistles on the middle finger of either hand.)

.

67 comments:

Mighty Dyckerson said...

What a waste of a fine looking piece of ass. One night with Dyckerson and her playfeet will be in the air while I pop her cherry.

tfg said...

I'm thinking of geting a Purity Prince Albert.

Pink said...

I used to have one of those rings in high school.

But I lost it.

Well at least they can't take away her right to wear her chastity belt.

My dad got me one of those right after I lost my ring. But then he's as clumsy as me.

He lost the key.
xx
pinks

/t. said...

pug,

again
picking on
the religious right...

you'd best be praying they're the religious wrong

you can't help but wonder; who do these folks pray to?

the lord of the rings

go forth my children and be as pioneers on the plains...

in case of attack, form a ring of purity with the wagons

(pinks, ha ha!)

/t.

Serena Joy said...

I can't keep up with rings and keys and things, so this won't affect me. Oh, wait, I didn't promise anything anyway.

It's Me... Maven said...

This is an affront to the multitudes who haved EARNED that right through the sanctimonious binds of marriage.

Amen... preach on brothah pug... preach it!!!

I was listening to that sanctimonious bullcrap this morning in the lab before I gave blood this a.m. Yeah, sluts, that's what's wrong with the world, us and our dag-gumb vaginas!

It's Me... Maven said...

PS: I think it would be a better use of the ring to have it as a clitoral hood piercing, keeping her vulva partially closed, yet free enough to let urine and menses pass through. Just you wait... some a-hole will have this done. Ready the rusty straight pins pa... the sluts must be stopped!!!

Corn Dog said...

The Pug is correct-a-mundo. As always. Hail to the Pug! Damn Limies.

puerileuwaite said...

Mighty D - You've answered no less than two lingering questions:

1) What is their REAL motive for avoiding sex?

2) Why are so many children afraid of clowns?

***

TFG - If it helps you to "keep the sardine in the can", then I'm all for it.

***

Pinks - Did you check the "Lost and Found"? They do occasionally sweep under the bleachers. Maybe it turned up after all.

Fortunately you've come to the right Pug for help. Not only am I a certified locksmith, but I also am an accomplished tattoo artist. So I can make good use of my time down there by multi-tasking.

And just in case I can't pick the lock, I'll bring along my bolt-cutters which have a solid track record for getting me into many a storage locker.

***

puerileuwaite said...

/t. - Hey, THEY started it! But just to be safe in public, I will forsake my favorite ("Lord, protect me from your followers") bumpersticker.

I don't know about circling the wagons, but I'd sure enjoy FIXING Pink's wagon. Whatever that means. And kudos to you for evoking memories of a favorite "Far Side" cartoon, where the Chief is lamenting that his braves are circling the wagon train in the wrong direction. Good stuff.

***

Serena - You gave me the biggest smile so far with THAT wicked comment! Surely, we will burn in hell together, my little Hell's "Angel".

***

Maven - You make an excellent point. But do you know what would REALLY repulse potential male fornicators? If the labial ring ALSO had a realistic looking severed finger running wearing it! Okay, so maybe it wouldn't work on every horn-dog. Certainly not yours truly. But it would be funny!

I do like the ring down-under idea, because the Pugz-in-da-Hood would be justified bringing his lucky magnet along on dates. By the time she realized that a scientific experiment was being performed, it would already be too late to keep opposites from attracting.

FInally, your rusty nail idea is primo. Not just for the piercing, either. I think two rows of rusty nails making it look like a Venus* (* or the other word) Fly Trap would repel even the most determined intruder.

***

Corn Dog - Hey you! Thanks! But let us not forget that the article DOES point to the good ol' U.S. of friggin' A. as the origin of this wackiest of movements.

And the funny part is how I actually AGREE that schools need to back off a tad from their Zero-Tolerance / Zero-Intelligence attack on individuality and personal freedoms.

***

Anyway, this topic was a last-minute inspiration, and to me at least, a refreshing and risque change of pace.

puerileuwaite said...

( "running wearing it"?

oops, I left "running" in during final edit! )

Little Lamb said...

What can I say? I see nothing wrong with one keeping one's virginity. I think its an admirable trait especially in these days.

There I said it! I feel better abotu it, too.

Serena Joy said...

I don't mind a little fire. I'll bring weenies.:-)

puerileuwaite said...

Little Lamb - I agree. And that is one thing among many (except for the misguided Republicanism) about Lamby, that makes you adorable.

But this was an easy article to poke fun at, so I did. And who knows where the Pug would be today if he managed to NOT treat his body like an amusement park? He might be the OWNER of a REAL amusement park.

***

Serena - I thought YOURS TRULY was supposed to bring the ... oh, nevermind!

leelee said...

"brother from another mother" ;-)

I always wonder why anyone gives a crappola about anayone else sexuality or lack there of..

Where the ring baby...why the need to tell everyone about it?

Great post puggles, great comments all...I'm still smiling..

Scary Monster said...

A Christian named Lydia playfoot.
Wore a ring to keep boys from a good root.
At the high court's discression
she lost her possesion.
And now services boys at recess- yum!

STOMP.

RevRee said...

Playfoot? There's a person with the last name Playfoot??? Really?

kate said...

OMG I am still loling at Scary Monsters poem! hehehe

Tell her to keep he legs closed it works better than the ring. Although there is a certain fun one can have with rings I hear...

How about getting a tatoo... or as Pink said, a belt! What makes her think that anyone wants her goods anyway... Its not all about sex is it? lmao

limpy99 said...

You just know she's blowing the captain of the rugby team under the bleachers.

RevRee said...

....I was a virgin once...

Pink said...

Ooooh. A tatoo! Ouch.
xx
pinks

Serena Joy said...

Oh, you're right, Puggy. If you're up for it, I'll bring the buns. And marshmallows.:)

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - You always make me smile. And damn it if you aren't right again. So henceforth I shall only be preoccupied with my own sexuality. In fact, I'm enjoying a personal game of ring toss as I write this. How cool is that?

***

Scary - Well crafted, my green goblin. But why would Lydia lie-do-ya? (and us)

***

Rev - Apparently there is. And yet, that wasn't enough. She also needed the prestige of being a virgin. We need Scary to throw her into a volcano.

***

(Bear with me. More replies in the AM ...)

puerileuwaite said...

Kate - I just worry that as a result, today's woman will be expecting an engagement ring for EVERY area she wants pierced.That could make it difficult to sew up the deal.

And you have a point. There is more to life than sex. So I've been told.

***

Limpy - As long as it isn't the captain of the cricket team. Because them would be some pretty low standards. Meatloaf didn't write a song blending cricket and sex for good reason.

***

Rev - No offense, but people embellish their resumes all the time. And with access to the Internet, almost any document can be forged. But as a friend, I'll chose to believe your insertion, er, assertion.

***

Pinks - At least if it's an image of the Pug, we should be able to keep it at only 2-inks, maybe 3. No pain, no gain.

***

Serena - It's a deal. This should be one hellava "moveable feast". I'll even show you how the Pug makes smores.

***

leelee said...

Oh PUG!!

:o)

Scary Monster said...

Iffin ya want a virgin sacrfice to appease the orange soda drinking gods the ya better choose a different monster to take her up the volcano. Her crater will be filled with molten lava well before we get to the top.

SHTUP!

Sassy Blondie said...

Those things are just kids' way of convincing their parents to believe their own hype. Whatever. I actually had a 6th grader that turned up pregnant, still sporting her lil trinket ring. I'm sure her parents thought it was immaculate conception...because that's so common and all.

kate said...

yip, there is more to life than just sex... ummm

...I just cant, for the life of me figure out what that is! Oh ya, dishes and laundry.... perhaps paying bills?

I think you men are onto something. Life is a lot more fulfilling if you just think about sex all day long!

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - ;-)

***

Scary - Well there should be more than one way to sacrifice a virgin. I'll do some research and then share my findings over a Netmeeting (oh crap ... did I just mention Netmeeting? Damn, I HAVE been working too hard ...). Okay, nevermind. I'll just consult The Scorpions instead. They'll know what to do.

***

Sassy - First off, WELCOME aboard! I don't buy the Immaculate Conception story either. Why, based on my studies alone, conception is never immaculate. Especially not if it's done properly, so at least one participant enjoys it.

But I have heard of girls getting knocked up from toilet seats and bathtubs. So I do my best to avoid women who expose themselves to those items. Usually it limits me to cruising carnivals.

***

Kate - That's a myth, actually. Sometimes I get hungry and think about food. In fact, right now I'm thinking about a taco. Mmmmmmmmmm ...

Pink said...

again. may i say. ouch!

I met two pugsies today - charlie and herbert. Herb is 18 months and charlie is a 9 month baby. They were sweet.

I wanted to say - I love your pugsy photo - those eyes - swoon!
xx
pinks

Serena Joy said...

The very mention of smores moves me to think of, you know, feasting. You can give me your recipe any time.:)

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - What did I tell you about consorting with other pugs? Thanks for noticing. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so there you have it.
:-)

***

Serena - You have a gift for thoroughly confusing me in the area of double-entendres. Are we REALLY talking about smores, or IS there something more?
;-)

Serena Joy said...

There is an art to concocting truly delectable smores that tease the senses and fool the stomach into thinking it's filled. Still, there is always something more.:)

Pink said...

pup,

you have a beautiful soul

xx
pinks

Sassy Blondie said...

Awww..I have a pug. I just noticed your picture is of a pug. (Yes, I'm a true blonde.)

puerileuwaite said...

Serena - Un momento! Maybe "smore" IS short for "something more"! I like your optimism, lady! Normally I get a lot of "is that all there is"?

***

Pinks - Oh crap, what did I do now? Or is this similar to telling me I have a "nice personality"?

Seriously? Thanks! That is high praise indeed from someone as sweet and giving as you.

;-)

***

Sassy - Just to bring you up to speed, the Pug in my avatar is my alter ego. Unfortunately he died unexpectedly several months ago, but his spirit carries on through yours truly.

Needless to say, I will always own a Pug. Great minds obviously think alike in that area. I'm assuming that somewhere in your blog you have a pug pic posted. Otherwise I'd love to see one sometime.

Finally, I WAS wondering if you were a natural blonde, and how I could determine if you weren't. It's like you read my mind! Just like the hapless adults in "Village of the Damned", I'll have to be careful with my thoughts!

Pink said...

Pugsy,

Seriously.

But that does NOT mean I'm going to put out on our match date.
;)
xx

limpy99 said...

I don't know, I think Meatloaf could do a lot with a cricket player.

"Cricket" does rhyme with "Lick it".

Serena Joy said...

There is a fine line between optimism and stupidity. Every now and then I land on the correct side of the line and capture the smores and sometimes it's just a toss-up.:-)

Little Lamb said...

That is a cute little pug there in your post.

The Lone Beader said...

What??? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Well, both actually: a Purity ring, and teachers put a ban on it. What is wrong with this world...

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - Putting out on our first date would make us both winners in my version of "Match Game 2007". Not only that, it REALLY would up the ante for our second date! Just sayin'.

***

Limpy - Good point. Plus it would tie in nicely with his "Bat Out of Hell".

***

Serena - Perhaps it's not so much where the smores land, but who winds up with the least indigestion.

***

Lamby - As reward for your attention to detail, I'll let you in on a little secret. Are you ready? The pug in the post is NOT "THE Pug". It was his older girlfriend (she's 6-years old and in good health). And yes, she IS cute, but she can be a b*tch, too.

***

Lone Beader - Welcome! You echo my sentiments EXACTLY. Now you know why I picked "Why oh why ..." for my blog name.

Serena Joy said...

Well, yes, there is that, Puggy. Thank God for Zantac.

Pink said...

Thats really true, Pugsy. It might force YOU to put out on the second date ;)

xx
pinks

Enemy of the Republic said...

Good God, or perhaps that was in ill taste--oh, I'm really digging myself in! Having taught middle school, I know what teenage girls dress like and I cannot believe that a school is going to this much trouble for a f@#@#$ purity ring. We always had to send girls home or get their parents to bring them clothes that actually covered a minimal amount of body. I just can't believe this stupid shit!

Enemy of the Republic said...

/t's comment is awesome.

Scary Monster said...

Hey pug just read yer comment on The Dyck's vote. Good reasons, all!

STOMP.

puerileuwaite said...

Serena - I hear ya. Though during flea season I mostly say "Thank God for Zodiac".

***

Pinks - That's quite alright, because it won't be putting me out at all.

:-)

***

Enemy - I know. Why can't both sides meet in the middle? For instance, why not provide a ring IF they get naked and earn it first?

And you can't have "witty" without /t. Well, maybe without the / and the .

***

Scary - Thanks. I had to. All that evil needs to grow, is for good Pugs to remain silent. Or something along those lines.

puerileuwaite said...

BTW, has anyone noticed that I'm too damned lazy to post something new? Boy, is it friggin' hot.

Serena Joy said...

I prefer Frontline myself. I do plan to buy the 'Zodiac' DVD, though. Yes, BTW, I have noticed the dearth of Puggy Postings. Get a fan!:-)

Pink said...

you know you just stole my thunder.

I was giving you a little grace because of those puppy dog eyes of yours.

But now you've gone and done it, by taunting us with your lethargic ways...

NEW POST!!!!!

GirlGoyle said...

Damn you are insightful! I hadn't thought of the consequences of dying a virgin. Must rectify immediatley!

puerileuwaite said...

Serena - Then you need to try the NEW Zodiac Flea Collar on your pets. It just came out. It uses Nano-assassins that are programmed to determine the sign of each flea, and then it kills them in sequence, repeating the process until they're wiped out. Then it notifies the newspapers and authorities of its deed with cryptic messages that must be decoded. Plus, it's good for 12-months!

***

Pinks - I'm so tired. It's like I travelled to Africa and back home TWICE in the same year. Maybe I'm the Paul Simon of Blogland. Only taller and more talented. But of course, you wouldn't understand.

***

Girlgoyle - You may be in luck. The Pug has seen enough of those "Why go to the gym, when you can own one!" commericals, that he is inspired to offer something similar for virgins.

Pink said...

Suck it up Puppy.

Fame is a tough mistress. Your fans await. (none too patiently)
xx
pinks

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - Speaking of cruel mistresses ...

;-)

Pink said...

Pugs - you've blown my cover!

Did we meet back in my new york days? I did spank a few bad dogs back then ;)

cathy said...

OH BOY! Look at the fun you are all having whilst I'm away from play!

What! Just one virgin in the entire school?

Do boys get to wear these rings too???

And finally will someone please tell my hubby that he has this the wrong way round, sheesh! I thought it was platinum!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Don't feel pressured to post. I
will still keep visiting you.

Pink said...

Enemy is sucking up.

Feel the pressure...feel the pressure....

;)

she said...

dunna dunna dunt dunt
dunna dunna dunt dunt
dunna dunna dunt dunt

MY SHABINA!

let her keep the ring. and, lets slaughter some goats in class too! i mean, here is a perfect hands on opportunity for a comparative religion study. wait. ive got the perfect complimentary solution! muslim foot washing ritual. now everybodys happy!

open your hymenals? grrerhaha
actually that ring is a stamina enhancing tool for her futbol coach. *shhh* don't ask. and damn show dont tail!

she needn't worry though. go ahead playfoot, and play foots. cause once you get the OTHER ring you'll be sex free guaranteed. grrrherhaha

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - That's one comment I couldn't take sitting down!

***

Enemy - I knew I could count on you. Seems everybody else wants me to produce. Some even want me to REproduce. It never ends.

***

Pinks - I LIVE for pressure, babe. Oh, and friction too. I live for that as well.

***

She - All of the activities that you mention can be efficiently accomodated with the proper curriculum. For instance, make sure the next class using the "goat slaughter" room is either Home Economics and/or Greek Studies.

And the "Muslim Foot Washing" dove-tails perfectly into "Sex Education". At least it would I YOURS TRULY were in charge of morality.

How's THAT for placing the proverbial shoe on the other foot?

puerileuwaite said...

Oops, typo alert! I meant IF yours truly was in charge of morality.

Or is it "were" in charge? My brain is fried!

Pink said...

Well then...pressure and friction...i think I can accommodate. Mistress Pinkachoo to the rescue.

NEW POST!

NOW!

(bad dog)
xx

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - I've been doing some research, and apparently too much friction is bad too. And what is wrong with THIS post? Can't you be loyal? Why does the thrill of a new post on the horizon lead you to infidelity? Inquiring Pugs want to know.

Pink said...

All things are wonderful with this post.

However, Pinks needs some new giggles...the kind that only bad dogs can dream up.

Pink is true blue...er...pink...in her infidelity... ;)
xx
pinks

Pink said...

Stompy got you but good :)
hee
xx
pinks

puerileuwaite said...

Pinks - Your wish is my command, m'lady.