A Special Post for Virginity

U.K. schoolgirl loses ‘virginity ring’ court battle
Lydia Playfoot says ring should be exempt from school ban on jewelry

LONDON - A teenager whose teachers had stopped her from wearing a “purity ring” at school to symbolize her commitment to virginity has lost a High Court fight against the ban. Lydia Playfoot, 16, says her silver ring is an expression of her faith and had argued in court that it should be exempt from school regulations banning the wearing of jewelry.

“I am very disappointed by the decision this morning by the High Court not to allow me to wear my purity ring to school as an expression of my Christian faith not to have sex outside marriage,” Playfoot said in a statement Monday. “I believe that the judge’s decision will mean that slowly, over time, people such as school governors, employers, political organizations and others will be allowed to stop Christians from publicly expressing and practicing their faith.”

Playfoot’s legal challenge was the latest in a series of disputes in British schools in recent years over the right of pupils to wear religious symbols or clothing, such as crucifixes and veils. Last year, the Law Lords rejected Shabina Begum’s appeal for permission to wear a Muslim gown at her school in Luton. That case echoed a debate in France over the banning of Muslim headscarves in state schools.

Playfoot’s parents are key members of the British arm of the American chastity campaign group the Silver Ring Thing, a religious group which urges abstinence among young people.

Those who sign up wear a ring on the third finger of the left hand. It is inscribed with “Thess. 4:3-4,” a reference to a Biblical passage from Thessalonians which reads: “God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin.” During the case, Playfoot’s lawyers argued that the ban by her school in Horsham, West Sussex, breached her human rights to “freedom of thought, conscience and religion” which are protected by the European Convention on Human Rights.

Lawyers for the school denied discrimination and said the purity ring breached its rules on wearing jewelry. They said allowances were made for Muslim and Sikh pupils only for items integral to their religious beliefs and that, for the same reason, crucifixes were also allowed. But it argued that the purity ring was not an integral part of the Christian faith.

Playfoot said in her statement she would consult her legal team to consider whether to appeal.

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The Pug Responds

I would like to start off by thanking Puerileuwaite, my "brother from another mother", for allowing me the use of his blog in order to express my outrage. This time, my target is the aforementioned Reuters story from today's MSN. Now open your hymenals to page 69.

To begin, what kind of name is "Lydia Playfoot"? You're putting me on, right? Or, since you're from England, rather should I say, "What's all this, then?". Thanks but no thanks to that name. Not when "Linda Lovelace" is already a firmly entrenched part of the Pug's daily lexicon. And what is the origin of "Playfoot", anyway? I can't avoid the image of that erotic Jennifer-Beals'-footsie-teasing-the-man's-groin-under-the-table-scene from "Flashdance" as I read your surname, Lydia.

And let me be among the first (of many to follow; of that I am quite sure) to conversely impart my disappointment in your desire to wear a ring as a symbol of your aversion to sex. This is an affront to the multitudes who haved EARNED that right through the sanctimonious binds of marriage.

Hold on un momento: did you actually disparage the fine human beings who serve as school governors, employers and in political organizations? Just because lions were once turned on the Christians for savage amusement, it doesn't mean these folks' lion-sized appetites for illicit sex will result in a renewed open season on Christians. In fact, many of these same upstanding and perfectly erect citizens may be church members, elders, priests and pastors that you embrace. You never know.

Now I don't want you to think that the Pug is a hardass. Even though I don't hold your beliefs, I will defend to the death your right to argue them with me over a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 in a secluded conversation spot. Of course I debate much better when my body's vital pathways are not constricted by items of clothing most likely produced by non-Christian heathens in hedonist countries. There. That's better.

Anyway, as I was saying, I would allow any kook to wear or do any damned thing they want. Take Shabina, for example. I'd go as far to say that I'd personally enjoy nuzzlin' that Muslim. And why? I like her name. Shabina. Why, she could be the object of desire in a vintage 50's doo-wop song. "Sha-bina! That scarf makes you too mean-a. Come and be my Queen-a. Let me introduce you to my w ... ". Anyhoo, you get the point.

Oh, and the following line from the article is priceless: "PlayFOOT’s parents are key MEMBERs of the British ARM of the American chasTITy campaign group the Silver Ring THING". Did you spot ALL of the various embedded body parts? (Tip for undiagnosed dyslexics: LIVER is not one of them. Go get help.)

Anyway, I think I made my point. Allow me to leave you with this (potentially legs) parting final thought: if - heaven forbid - you die while still a virgin, AND Al Qaeda turns out to be right, you will be aiding and a-bedding a terrorist, ringo.

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(Disclaimer: this blog and it's owner do not necessarily agree with, or endorse, the Pug's rebuttal. But we will fight to the death his right to sway the occasional virgin. However, if any readers do agree with the Pug and want to show your support, purchase, wear and frequently use one of those novelty ring whistles on the middle finger of either hand.)

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