Thursday, August 24, 2006

Billboards We'd Like To See - Part III

Back by popular demand! Enjoy!












74 comments:

Paula said...

PW- you crack me up!

puerileuwaite said...

Well I do need a purpose in life. I suppose this will have to do for now.

jmeped said...

I always knew something wasn't right about spam. One of my mothers husbands use to eat fried spam sandwiches with inch thick mayo! ULCK!

puerileuwaite said...

Well now you know the horrible truth.

leelee said...

The FUN just never stops here at PW's..

puerileuwaite said...

Oh, it stops alright. Usually when I have to come up with another post.

leelee said...

lol P...you've created a monster with your creativity...we must be fed regularly!!

btw..I appreciate all you do to make my day brighter..

puerileuwaite said...

Your kind words mean a lot. Same here, Leelee. Need to relieve the stress in some way. And right now I'm REALLY feeling it. Trying my best to stay upbeat. Cross your fingers for me.

jmeped said...

Don't be stressed P, drink some warm milk, curl up to a good movie, and snuggle your pug.

puerileuwaite said...

No, no, no, jmeped. Your new icon simply will not do. I want the old one back. Now "cut the crap" and give it to me.

Pud said...

I can't believe people eat Spam! Love all the billboards!

leelee said...

fingers are crossed..and I'll work on the toes as well.

ok now take some deep cleansing breaths.....

doggerelblogger said...

HAhahahahahhhaaaaa!

Where the hell do you find those damn things?!?

Little Lamb said...

I never know what to post on my blog.

puerileuwaite said...

Pud, thanks. Well, it's not midnight yet where I am, but here's my midnight confession: I had it several times as a kid. Reports later claimed that it can cause dementia, but I haven't noticed anything. And I'm sure that none of my readers have either ... right? Right?

puerileuwaite said...

Better now, Leelee. Glad to have you (and my other blindly loyal readers!) in my virtual life.

Leave it to an anonymous group of strangers to prop up my sanity!

puerileuwaite said...

Doggerel, oh I'll never tell ... oh, shit, the website is stamped on each photo ... there goes my "street cred" yet again!

puerileuwaite said...

Little Lamb, I just go with whatever inspires me. Occasionally, I steal if I have to (like today's post, for instance ... also known to my regulars as "phoning it in"). I try to be original with most of my crap. If I do use headlines, I try to spin them from my warped perspective.

But everyone has their own style. Get me, writing advice like I know what the heck I'm talking about! Tell you what, I'll take you under my wing and keep anyone else from shearing you. I wouldn't want you to lose your way.

Paula said...

Your sacrifice will be noted.

Little Lamb said...

Thank you, I appreciate that. I was going to write about my co-workers and tell all, but I feel I shouldn't tell everything.

Malnurtured Snay said...

A+ on that last one!

puerileuwaite said...

PJ - and so it has!

puerileuwaite said...

Little Lamb, I frequently get the urge to write about my coworkers. By documenting and amplifying their insanities, I can temporarily create the illusion that I'm normal by comparison. Here's a few guidelines that I use. Most of them are plain common sense.

1) Do any of your coworkers know that your blog exists? If not, then good. Otherwise it's a good idea to not write about work. Or anything else where you don't want your coworkers to know too much about you and your "deepest thoughts".

2) Don't write anything that could get you fired in your boss or a coworker discovered it. Stay very generic, so that your musings could be about ANY company or set of coworkers. Let's face it, every place has similar types of employees (hence the "Finding The Right Employee" post), politics, customers, and daily situations.

3) Again, stay generic. This is SO important, that I'm compelled to mention it a second time. If a coworker were to stumble across your post, would he/she be able to get enough specific information so that there's no doubt that it's about him/her?

Hopefully this advice is useful to you. I don't mean to come across as "The Blog Professor" (as opposed to that "Video Professor" guy from TV).

puerileuwaite said...

Thanks MSnay. Glad to have you back. Hope your vacation was relaxing.

GirlGoyle said...

Well hello my long lost friend. As fate would have it...getting ready to blog. Took the day off. It's raining so I got nowhere else to go. I have my coffee ready. I've got the topic in my head. My fingers are itching to go and...www.blogspot.com
> enter
"Sorry! Service is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later."

No! No! Seriously....WTF!!! I've been looking forward to this and now...
I'm breathing deep, counting to ten, biting my nails, cursing under my breath....anything from keeping me from "calibrating" my PC. So, this is so you know I tried. I miss you all...I guess I'll try again later. ARRRRRRGH!!!

Easy Ed! EEEEASY!!!

GirlGoyle said...

Well hello my long lost friend. As fate would have it...getting ready to blog. Took the day off. It's raining so I got nowhere else to go. I have my coffee ready. I've got the topic in my head. My fingers are itching to go and...www.blogspot.com
> enter
"Sorry! Service is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later."

No! No! Seriously....WTF!!! I've been looking forward to this and now...
I'm breathing deep, counting to ten, biting my nails, cursing under my breath....anything from keeping me from "calibrating" my PC. So, this is so you know I tried. I miss you all...I guess I'll try again later. ARRRRRRGH!!!

Easy Ed! EEEEASY!!!

puerileuwaite said...

Admit it, Girlgoyle. Even though you wrote "miss you all", you REALLY meant to write "miss you MOST OF all". Am I right? Just admit it. Don't run from your feelings, because your heart always tags along.

Also, what does "It's raining, so I've got nowhere else to go." mean? That I am your last option? Oh, I feel so exploited and vulnerable right now.

But on the other hand are you hitting on me with the "Easy Ed" signoff? I'm getting mixed signals ...

Pud said...

I didn't mean to skip you on my shout out list. I will go back and fix that. I was just saving the best for last ;p

puerileuwaite said...

Thanks Pud. 98% of it was me pulling your leg and playing the martyr (something that I've NEVER done before ;-)

Besides, you had a lot of comments, and I know what it's like to get lost in the wave of popularity.

For instance, I know that Catherine Zeta-Jones is truly way too busy to return my emails, voicemails, and respond to the letters that I tape to her gate. So it pays to be patient and maintain my "balance". I know that one day my time will come, and that ridiculous restraining order will be lifted.

AeroAangel said...

omg! that's freaking hillarious...thanks for making me laugh today.

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you for your visit, aeroangel. I love getting new commenters, especially if I manage to make 'em laugh.

Little Lamb said...

My cowrokers do not know I have a blog. I did write about some of them, but not in great detail.

puerileuwaite said...

You are a smart little lamb.

Little Lamb said...

It might even be kind of boring.

puerileuwaite said...

I'll be the judge of that!

Crashtest Comic said...

The other day I was eating my grilled-spam & cheese sandwich and I swallowed an engagement ring--

now I know why.

puerileuwaite said...

Crash, and you probably thought only cereal came with free prizes!

DykesDog said...

Doggie loves her spam!

puerileuwaite said...

Dykesdog, please tell me that you don't actually eat that stuff!

Little Lamb said...

On my blog I was referring to a coworker called "Slacker."

Bur I digress, I'm posting off topic.

I used to eat spam on occasion growing up. I wanted to know what it tasted like.

ThursdayNext said...

PW ~ The Army one is the best, hands down! Thanks for the smile! :)

Little Lamb said...

Interesting billboards.

He fathered two children with two differnet females within two days of each other.

Little Lamb said...

Why do I have the compulsion to tell private things about this person? He doesn't like to be reminded of his children that he never saw and doesn't care to see.

puerileuwaite said...

Hi Thursdaynext. Glad you found one that you really liked. People really seem to enjoy these billboards.

puerileuwaite said...

Little Lamb, if only you knew how much you've been cracking me up. Well I guess now you do. I'll continue the discussion on your blog.

Little Lamb said...

You do make a good "Dear Abby"

You can delete any of my posts you want, but all I ask is you read them first. :)

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, do you mean that I have that level of editing control over your blog? I can delete any of your posts? Kewl !

And of course I want to read them. I have to study all shapes and sizes of the human animal if I want to be a Therapist someday.

Little Lamb said...

No, not on my blog. You can delete whatever I post on your blog. :)

puerileuwaite said...

I knew what you meant, lamby. I was just messin' with ya. And so far since starting this blog (knocks on wood) I've only deleted a couple of my own comments.

Little Lamb said...

I really have to learn to kid around more and not take everything so seroiusly.

puerileuwaite said...

I'll loosen you up, lamby. I'll get you to where the wool relaxes so much that it straightens up and falls out on it's own.

jmeped said...

I can't believe I leave you alone for several days and you piss all over my favorite pants and the remote. Your not getting your treat now......

Party Girl said...

I really, really, really wish billboards were actually like this. Much better reading while you're driving.

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped, I knew you'd be mad (see how I'm already cowering in the corner?), so I did a little research over the weekend.

Dogs do not hold grudges. We chew and pee on your things because we miss you very much. We want to savor your scent (thus, the chewing) and combine ours with your own (thus, the peeing) to reinforce our bond.

I just thought you should know. So where's my treat (wagging my tail as I write this)?!

puerileuwaite said...

Well, PG, if we have to have any at all, these get my vote as well.

jmeped said...

You can have my gym socks. I heard you like smelly too.

puerileuwaite said...

So is this your day off (already!?!), or are you at work and slacking (again ... already!?!) ?

And the promise of your gym socks has me excited. But then I find myself wondering if you've ever used 'em.

jmeped said...

You know me all too well. Although I do use them when I play tennis. Which is tomorrow, yeah! Very few things make me so happy.....No, two of the three jobs is freelance, and the other I don't know for sure. I got sucked back into the vortex!

jmeped said...

You must be good luck I just got a call back for the third job! I have to go in tomorrow at 11am to wow them.

puerileuwaite said...

Remember to use me as a reference!

Pretend I'm your CURRENT employer (Vandalay Industries). I even have a killer line worked out: "We hate to lose Ms. Jmeped, but you know what they say ... sometimes the best addition IS subtraction.".

And when they ask you if you've ever been convicted of a crime, be sure to say: "Convicted? No, never CONVICTED.".

Of course I'm sure you know I got that line from "Stripes". But what you didn't know ('til now) is that I used it during AN ACTUAL JOB INTERVEW! How cool (or dorky) is THAT?

BTW, I just received an email that I'm still in the hunt as well! Your karma is rubbing off. So keep rubbing.

puerileuwaite said...

Oh, jmeped, I almost forgot another interview tip!

If the interviewer asks if you have any children, wink at him/her slyly and say in a husky voice: "None that I know of".

Mayden's Voyage said...

Ok- just one more...

A billboard with a picture of a hearse with a luggage rack and stuff piled on top~

The ad reads:

Family Friendly Funeral Home, our hearses have luggage racks...NOW
YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU!!!

I am sorry to say that came to me over the weekend with my husband :)
Lol :)

puerileuwaite said...

FM, you spent the weekend with ... your husband? Oh, how scandalous! I'll do my best to keep it out of the tabloids, but no promises ...

BTW, here's a teaser that ties into your comment: my next "Creative Business Ideas" post may have a funeral home in it.

leelee said...

Your blog sure gets alot of staying power PW...63 comments! You're da man! or da pug anyway.

puerileuwaite said...

That's an inflated number, Leelee. At least half are my replies. But I am happy with the blog buddies that I've met.

leelee said...

:-)

Little Lamb said...

I'd like to have this many replies at my blog.

puerileuwaite said...

Well Lamby, the first thing I recommend is to turn "Comment Moderation" (CM) off. I don't like visiting blogs that have it enabled. Like yours!

CM kills the gratification of seeing one's comment posted right after submission. It's like getting REALLY excited, and then having to pause and run to the drug store for condoms! If someone posts a comment you do not want on your blog, you can always delete it.

Then show more of your personality. Posts with no pix that are 1 or 2 sentences long are annoying (to me). Don't expect visitors to make any more of an effort than you have.

Cutting and pasting of crap from other sources (such as THIS post!) with none of your own commentary is incredibly tedious. I'll go to Yahoo or MSN for that stuff, if I want the news.

Finally, I am grateful enough to personally respond to EVERY comment that I receive. If soemone cares enough to comment, I feel they deserve a reply. When I get blown off* on someone else's blog (* where I comment, and they don't acknowledge it), I tend to stop commenting there. It's arrogant.

BTW, the biggest reason why the turnout has been so good, is that I'm long overdue for a new post. So I've been unintentonally milking the comments with this one.

(Get me! A blogging expert after only 2-months! Am I full of it, or what?)

Little Lamb said...

The reason I have comment moderation is because of Mighty Dyckerson. Some of his posts really get my blood boiling and he knows it. He knows I've deleted some of his posts already and have not published them all.

The blogs I visit are much more interesting than mine. I want to be more like the blogs I post at. Maybe I should start making up stuff, but I don't know what to make up.

Yes, I should post pictures and comment on the news I post.

I should also be willing to be teased with what I post.

I saw a cute T-shirt at work today, so maybe I should post what it said.

I'll let you know when I'm done and I'll take the moderation thingy off if I can remember how I did it.

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, I look forward to your t-shirt post. It's good to take chances.

Little Lamb said...

No, you won't. I couldn't get any pictures on the site. Gotta work on that.

I'm boring. Oh well. I'm me, what can I say. I'll keep trying, Rome wasn't built in a day.

My post is done, if anyone wants to check it out.

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, you're an excellent "straight man". No wonder the Clown teases you.

Can I say something without hurting your feelings? You remind me of Latka Gravis' (played by Andy Kaufman, of course) wife "Simka" (played by Carol Kane) on the old "Taxi" sitcom!

You're so cute, I want to pinch your little cheeks (I'll even let you pick WHICH 2)!

I liked your new post.

Little Lamb said...

I feel honored I remind you of Simka. I loved Taxi and was in love with Andy Kaufman. He was one original guy. He would make you laugh and then make you mad, all at the same time. Andy was my hero.

He thought wrestling was phony and it is and he made it known it was phony, and that upset Jerry Lawler. And so those two get in the ring together and battle it out and Jerry ends up breaking Andy's neck. Andy was ready to sue Jerry.

Andy wanted to teach Carol Kane his foreign talk so they went out to dinner and that's all the talk she was allowed to say, so she could learn his language.

puerileuwaite said...

Lamby, all I can say is WOW. You know your Andy Kaufman.