It's me again. And I've been doing some more thinking. Since a few of you said that the practice might do me some good. Bastards. Oh, not you nice folks, I have one of those Sunday morning political shows on.
Before I get started with today's post (that makes THREE posts in THREE consecutive days, people, so the "slacker" comments must stop), I must apologize in advance for the dark nature of these new business ideas. Apparently I'm dealing with a current bout of mean-spiritedness in response to a cruel and unforgiving world. I should be better than that. So maybe with this one last purge, I will be done with it, and resume my usual "happy-go-get-lucky" demeanor.
Either that, or the rain and fog that we've had all weekend - which I should be glad about because the moisture is sorely needed - has cast me in this funk.
Or perhaps it is also due to "the man" (and by this, I mean my fellow bloggers and their evil commentary) trying to "keep me down". Jealous of my modest talent and even more modest success, some of you (who - since I am a professional, dammit - shall remain nameless) are doing your best of turn me into the blog version of "Joseph and his coat of many colors" (from the Bible ... don't you people read ANYTHING that is NOT in blog format?!), and are doing your darndest to cast me into a pit of despair in order to sell me into emotional slavery. In a manner of speaking.
Okay, for those of you (what? only one person left? traitors!) who truly are appreciative of my efforts, and are eager to embrace my ideas, here are several more business concepts.
"Get Bent". A yoga center for Type-A, hard chargers. For those high-energy yuppies out there who let nothing - and no one - stand in their way. Wreaking havoc and hatred everywhere they go, yet striving for inner peace. Those fingers extended to them from vehicles that they cut off serve as constant reminders of their standing 1PM yoga sessions.
"Good For Sheet Music". A humble, old-timey emporium for any form of music that can be transcribed onto paper. From ABBA to ZZ-Top, we have it all. Yanni, pan-flute solos, there is nothing that we cannot provide. Attractive females are welcome to ask about our lay-a-way plan for expensive out-of-print music.
"Mechanic Depressive". An automotive repair center for us emotional roller coaster types. Upset about your latest breakdown? So are these folks. Steamed about the bill? They are equally out-raged. Delighted about the quick turnaround? As you will note by the free-flowing alcohol throughout the shop, so are they. Despondent that the automakers just don't make 'em like they used to? Why, they are downright suicidal.
So, whatta you think?
13 comments:
I like them all...do you think Mechanic Depressive could be franchised?
Way ahead of you on that one, leelee. I'm already busy thinking about the official logo. So far the best one is a Beetle in the valley of an up-and-down road as viewed from the side in one-dimension. But I am excited and know that I can do better. No, wait, I can't do any better. Now I'm getting all bummed out ...
you're gettin warmer...
Auto Erotic: 15 minute oil change -
with strippers.
Sit n'Pick - dermatology AND massage.
I had a friend who years ago had a "business" he called TSL inc.
It stood for The Skys the Limit cuz he'd do anything for money. You're not him are you?
And bb- sit and pick? ewe. :)
BB, I LOVE the Auto Erotic idea, and wish I'd thought of it. Sit n' Pick? I'm going to have to give that one some thought ...
PJ, yes, too often I do feel that way ... especially in today's economy where employers are holding more of the cards than in good times past.
GG, I was particularly slow on the uptake today, so I'm glad that I waited awhile before posting my reply. NOW I get it! And I like it. I like it a lot. You are wise, but there's a scary-ness to your wisdom, GG.
I wasn't asking in the figurative sense, I mean are you him. Did you ever own a business named TSL inc.?
PJ, no, wrong guy. But then most times I'm not myself, even.
I am LOVING that you used the term "hard charger" in a sentence.
Did you know that I bought a "Sports Racer - What's Your Powermove?" T-shirt? And that I posted R's powermove on YouTube?
I am a Ze Frank addict. Seriously.
You're dead-on, doggerel. I shamelessly admit that I totally ripped off "hard charger" from ze.
But that's okay.
As loyal ZEalots, we MUST do his bidding and push ze-isms into the public lexicon.
And just think (or better yet, let ze do it), I owe it all to you, d, for turning me onto his madness.
I am hooked as well, and have been using my weekend dSL to wade through his clips.
*** For anyone else reading this comment and feeling confused, go check out www.zefrank.com/theshow ***
BTW, I love the comment that you just left. His hotel rooms do look the same (and I feel creepier just writing that last sentence)! I wonder if there's a Chuck E. Cheese's restaurant just off of the lobby.
I will go search YouTube for R's powermove.
Good choice on the shirt. My future shirt? The red one with white Sports Racer and duckie. And for one lucky lady? Either the Fabuloso or "I like little duckies" models.
Welcome back, d!
I've been lurking...sorry! I keep thinking that I've left a message, and I haven't.
I like your yoga idea :) But can you imagine being in a room full of people like that?
Mechanic Depressive...in the little gumball machine, you could have Wellbutrin, or Prozac :)
Good point, Mayden, but think about it ... if you can find tranquility in a room full of these life forms, you truly would be a zen master.
The gumball machine is an excellent idea. In fact, let me see if I can get one for my office.
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