Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Writer's Block

Hello everyone,

I trust that you are all doing well. Actually for most of you, I know this is the case, since I've been spending more time lately on your blogs than my own. Easier to comment than create, or so I've read.

Well, since my Internet connection is thwarting my efforts to upload pictures for a post that I'm working on, I may as well go heavy on the verbose for this one. However there is a slight problem. I have writer's block! It's true. I cannot think of a single coherent topic to ruminate upon. And yes, I AM capable of coherency! Codependency too. So pipe down. Or better yet, hold me.

And yet, hungry verbiage vultures that you are, quotas must be met. I have fallen victim to your expectations of high volume at low prices. So I have no choice but to "wing it" with whatever comes to mind. Sure, I could've surrendered my will to the considerable power of the meme, but I'm trying this foreign approach known in some circles as abstinence. I've been told it makes the heart grow fonder. And yet, I've never been fond of women who force it upon me. Go figure.

I guess that it was unavoidable: I would eventually have to post on mundane details and musings from my marginal existence.

So, what to do. Wait, a thought just occurred to me. Don't you HATE mosquitoes? Those little pests are everywhere right now. I can't even go for a run, which I wanted to do instead of posting. I read somewhere that "lemon eucalyptus oil", whatever that is, is a natural repellent. Is there such a thing as a lemon eucalyptus? I thought the two were mutually exclusive, much like me and popularity.

And where can I obtain this oil? Would it be in the same aisle as frankincense and myrrh? And what would I smell like with it on? Would I smell like hippies do when they wear that chulupa oil? Do they still call them hippies? Or is it no longer hip?

This reminds me of an old SNL Weekend Update joke, as follows: "Liza Minelli had hip surgery earlier this past week, which is the first time in 20-years that the words "Liza Minelli" and "hip" have been used in the same sentence.".

By the way, now is probably not the best time you inform you that I plan to launch a second blog. That's right. Apparently I am way too prolific, and have an overabundance of great material for just one URL to safely contain. Okay, I'll come clean. The REAL reason is because I have ideas and topics that really aren't appropriate for this forum. For point of illustration, this blog is meant to display all of the shiny, tasteful(?) tschotschkes that I polish and set out for company to fuss over and become enamored of.

The "other" blog is to be the black sheep that I hide in the back room until company leaves. Then I have my way with it. Just kidding. It's a metaphor, people! A better description is that it represents all of the crappe that I quickly cram into drawers (cramming crappe into drawers? that doesn't sound right either) and closets while the doorbell is ringing. Anyway, stay tuned. I'll let you know when it's ready, if anyone is desperate enough to be even remotely interested.

On another unrelated topic, I was able to get in a solid workout today, despite the fact that, due to fate's cruelty, "The Big Cheese" (nice man, a millionaire too, though I regret to inform that his management style closely resembles that of Dilbert's boss) is in town. So it was either flee the scene, or get tapped to count the number of toilet paper rolls hung improperly throughout the campus.

For the majority of my time there, the weight room was empty. So I could focus with laser precision on my routine and bask in the solitude. I love solitude, and wish you all could've been there with me to enjoy it.

To further isolate, I listened to my iPod. Most of the songs are fairly innocuous, classic rock fare. But since headphones are involved, no one needs to know (much like my secret fetishes for Kuchina Dolls and Faberge Eggs) what I'm into. Don't ask, don't tell, don't sing along.

As a result of this freedom from drive-by criticism, I always sneak a few guilty pleasures into the mix. Right these would include "Cruel, Cruel Summer" by Bananarama, "Toxic" by Britney Spears, "Uncontrollable Urge" by Devo, "I Got You, Babe" by UB40 and Chrissy Hynde, and a couple of Joni Mitchell tunes. I've really been on a Joni kick lately. I know why, but I can't tell you, since I know that you're all good for shit at keeping secrets. There's more, but these should arm you with enough arrows to shoot back my way.

Thank you for helping(?) me through this. I hope to start thinking again real soon.


jmeped said...

Thanks for stopping by, I keep my black sheep out front for everyone to see, then again people don't visit long. I too have bananaramma on my ipod, shhh.

Party Girl said...

The lack of posting, creativeness and lack of comments on my part? All do to creative seepage from being brain sucked from school.

I am right there with you. I am reading all your and everyone else's posts. Just might not be commenting. I can only say, "nice" "classic" "good one" so many times before I start to sounds like an idiot.

Oh, wait.


Malnurtured Snay said...

I just bought a Dell DJ Ditty and I am having the most difficult time getting it to work. MP3 players are fucked up.

JustRun said...

Ahh, Joni Mitchell has taught us so much about angst and love, you really can't go wrong with her.

GirlGoyle said...

For someone with writer's block u sure got a lot to say. LOL And I'm so with you on the solitude thing. I'm on the phone and yacking all day long. After work, leave me the hell alone. Don't you hate those phucksticks at the gym that come up to you and have conversations when they SEE you have your headphones on. Hellooooo!!! Arrrgh. As for mosquitoes....run faster...they can't keep up with you. Or use Off. Nothing hip about smelling like a hippie.

I do have to admit my total disapointment in finding out that I had talked myself into believing that you were my long lost evil soul mate until I read the secret repertoir of music you listen to. Britney?? Did you say Britney??? I almost choked! Who are you and what have you done with cynical uncle Puerly?????

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped, just by virtue of your Mighty Blog comments and your own blog posts, I could tell that you are a kindred spirit. Wow, sheep AND Bananarama mentioned in the same comment. I'm too excited to get back to work now! Thanks for the return visit.

puerileuwaite said...

PG - nice.

Just teasing. I understand. And I take solace in the belief that in my small way, I'm putting (up with) you through school.

puerileuwaite said...

MS, my first player was not an iPod. It was clumsy, not nearly as seamless as the Apple. Wish I could've warned you in time.

puerileuwaite said...

JR, so true. She's one of those artists who's work resonates with me on an almost subconscious level, if that makes any sense.

puerileuwaite said...

GG, it occasionally happens. I don't mean to be rude, but working out is my time to get the **** away from people and their ******* agendas. There! How's that for evil? So unless the building is on fire or my car is getting broken into, save it for another time.

And that's just my luck. I lure women in to th point of tepid curiosity, then I do/say/write something to push them away.

In the interest of salvaging your mild disinterest, here are the possible reasons for listening to Britney on my iPod:

1) Though she has never been very attractive or talented, the extensive image manufacturing machine through which she has been processed, produced one song that I really like (Toxic), and a second one that is above-average (Oops! I Did It Again!).

2) The Toxic video was way cool.

3) Toxic reminds me of someone that I was "fond" of. Kind of a "what might have been" tribute.

4) I am not unlike that sect of medievil monks who walked around smacking themselves with boards as atonement for their sins. As a 21st Century masochist, I use Britney's music for this purpose.

5) Because I like to pretend that I am this ultra-cool James Bond character that she is pining for.

6) Finally, because my PowerBook is currently in a coma, so I can't replace her song with the one that I prefer. The song that - this is true, BTW - reminds me of you, GG: "Punk Rock Girl" by The Dead Milkmen.

7) Oh, and because I really don't believe that I should have to give reasons why.

Paula said...

Will the new blog be scary? Scary things on the internet creep me out. Black sheep okay, scary, just scary.

I hope you're feeling unblocked soon.

puerileuwaite said...

Hi PJ. No, I don't intend make it scary (though I'm not sure what your definition is, as it can vary substantially from person to person) by design. I just think that there are some things that I would like to write about, as part of the self-discovery-through-stream-of-consciousness blogging process, that I don't want to do here.

Why? Because I really like the way that this one is turning out. I am happy with the flow, and I'm also delighted with the audience that I have been able to attract and maintain (for the most part). I laugh as I'm posting the stuff, and it amuses me to banter in the comments. This blog is me, ~80% of the time.

But there is the other ~20%. The serious side, where I can rant about politics, religion, or whatever I feel the need to vent about. Then there's the occasional crude or weird tangental material. Basically, if there is any post that I believe would disrupt the rhythm of this blog, then it goes there. Anything that I deem too tawdry (but not too vulgar, although I will be more liberal over there) to post here, goes to the new "after-hours" blog.

You see, I am very eclectic when it comes to people that I like to socialize with. You mentioned recently that I run from A to Z. This is so true. I could never throw just one party and invite all of the people that I find interesting. You would likely see tight pockets of small groups that have enough things in common to coagulate, with large empty space in the middle of the room.

So, in essence, these blogs represent two different parties. Everyone is invited to both, but some may find that only one is their cuppa tea. And it won't hurt my feelings.

Whew! Hope this helps to clear any confusion. BTW, did you notice how some of my comments are posts unto themselves?

Mayden's Voyage said...

I have another blog too- but I haven't really let it out of the bag...

It's dark- and sappy. Who needs such a thing? For now it will continue to be my secret...

Out of curiosity- how far are you from me? 2 hours? Maybe 3?
Just wondering :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

Nevermind on location...I was wrong...I should have re-read your info page before I asked. Sorry :)

puerileuwaite said...

Fair Mayden, what is this? "Catch and release"?! First you snag me with your hook ("How far away are you?"), and then you coldly toss me back ("Nevermind ... sorry")?

I shall probably never know what you meant, or what your other blog is.

Why are women so cruel when all I want is to be loved? I know what it is ... I'm not dark or mean enough ... this is why I need the "other" blog. Same reason, I suppose, why Bob Saget became a dirty comic after years on cutesy-pie sit-coms and funniest video shows.

That's it. Loveable loser, no longer.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Forgive me- I am a goof :) OK?
Catch and release? Never.
Loser- I don't think so...
I don't read "loser" blogs! :)
-Cora :)

GirlGoyle said...

I can live with options 4, 6 & 7. In particular 6 cuz it's all about ME. And 7 cuz it's the answer I'd probably go with...my typical..."If I cared for your thoughts ont the matter I would've asked your opinion. I didn't did? So go **** yourself." Aaaah! I feel better. :)

puerileuwaite said...

And you can tell everybody, this is your song.