Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Writer's Block Continues

Hello, it's me -

I thought I would go with that greeting for variety, and also because I love that song by Todd Rundgren. "It's important to me, that you know you are free." For the longest time, I hadn't a clue as to what he meant. Now I do. It's an oblique and therefore classy way to get rid of someone, while convincing them that it's really their idea. Brilliant!

Well, the writer's block continues, hence the unimaginative title. Fortunately, though, it may have dawned on me WHY I have been in this funk. The torture weasels running this place have been forcing me to spend time thinking about work-related matters, thus depleting my natural reserves of witty introspection.

Also, vendors have been calling to vie for my attention, without offering any swag of note as fair compensation for feigning interest in whatever they sell. One guy had the absolute goofiest title for his software product. Whoever came up with that doozy should be calling Betty Ford to see if the extended stay suite is available.

How can I let him know, without actually saying it, that - for this week, not every one - I just want to be left alone to blog and generate carbon dioxide for local plant life? But these vendor dimwits are totally inept in the fine art of interpreting subtle hints.

In good times, I probably would've considered a pity purchase. But these aren't, so I see the sales guy quickly (and involuntarily) moving on to the next phase of his "21st century Willy Loman*" (* from "Death of a Salesman", I threw this in as a homework assignment so that you could Google SOMETHING other than your own damned names for once) career progression as a telemarketer. He will, of course, then make a point of calling me once again with yet another exciting new offer, continuing the circle of jerkiness.

Another culprit that may be contributing to my blockage are the phrases that have become lodged sideways into my already misshapen brain, interfering with those few precious neurons that carry sane and practical thoughts. Phrases such as "frame of reference", "if I frame it this way", and "cheeky bounder".

"Cheeky Bounder" in particular has been driving my up the wall. It sounds cute, like "wanker", but probably is equally insulting. I even got off of my lazy ass (well, technically I didn't, but I was too lazy just now to come up with a more accurate phrase that would properly illustrate the pain that the gesture caused) to actually Google it. I received 881 hits, but the first 10 were articles that would force me to read more than two sentences, so no thanks. I'll make this YOUR homework assignment, instead. Yet another opportunity to remind me that you know more than I do.

"Frame of reference" and "framing" concepts in general are phrases that my boss likes to sprinkle liberally throughout conversations. For instance, a typical comment of his would be: "Well, it's really not so major of a setback if you "frame" it this way ... (then he describes the way that it could be alternatively framed). I can only sit there and fantasize about a scenario where he is convicted of a homicide, and shortly thereafter I visit him in prison and console him, agreeing that yes, indeed he was framed.

It makes me wonder what phrases people use in your daily lives that drive you nuts. Let's compare and contrast, shall we?

29 comments:

Mayden's Voyage said...

Phrase that drive me nuts...

"I could care less"- when he/she means "I COULDN"T care less"

;)

puerileuwaite said...

FM, perhaps it because they could care less about how they say it.

I'm going to do my best today to validate this phrase through serious reflection on those things I could (and possibly should) care less about.

I need to shed some concerns as I head into my weekend ;-)

jmeped said...

Well it appears that since I moved from the west coast to the south I have MANY!!!!! I will refrain and give you the biggest, say you are asking someone if they want to go to the movies or such, the answer I get more often than not, "We might could do that"



I have to curl up and cry now.....

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped, you should do a post on it. The south should give you enough material for a book, if you're so inclined.

Well, I'd like to comment further, but I'm fixin' to go back to work ;-)

jmeped said...

Here's another, although not southern, when you tell someone thank you and instead of saying your welcome they say no problem. Like what they did for you was an inconvenience

puerileuwaite said...

Oh, jmeped, you don't even want to go there. Interpersonal manners are a MAJOR pet peave.

What's even worse is when they respond "ungh-ugh". They may as well be saying "f*ck you". If I were the Incredible Hulk, this alone would turn me green and angry. And after coming to, they would find themselves on the other side of the wall, peering back at me through the newly created "shortcut".

This is yet another good post topic. Damn, woman, you're good!

jmeped said...

The fact that you used the term interpersonal manners let alone the fact that you know what they are makes me question your gender! Most men I know, southern or not, go to camp scratch and sniff for lessons in manners. Your "mamma" done did good. ;-)

puerileuwaite said...

Thanks! (Please don't respond with "No problem"; it would crush me.)

I do pride myself as being somewhat of a "Renaissance Man".
(picture me looking up and slight off to the left with a pensive look at the distant horizon while rubbing my knuckles against my chest).

I TRY not to be a TOTAL oaf. To hell with being a "man's man", I want to be a "woman's man" (unless of course we're role playing as part of fantasy night).

jmeped said...

How about uh huh. J/K your welcome. You lost me on the role playing do you like to dress up like a girl when you play house? I'll be the mean mister and you can scrub the floors! You missed a spot.

puerileuwaite said...

Jmeped, I am putty in your hands (and yes, I DO know that I'm opening myself up to at least one joke here). You can pretty much mold me into anything you want. When a woman says anything better than "just make it quick, and clean up after yourself", I am more than happy to cooperate with any twisted ideas that she may have.

jmeped said...

How about wake me when it's over? That's just one up from "make it quick"

puerileuwaite said...

You had me at "wake me". I am a sucker for sexy pillow talk!

jmeped said...

Well if that gets you off how about, "is this an ingrown hair, or a pimple?" I have a whole list, I won the clowns heart with offerings of bleach! =)

puerileuwaite said...

No, that one doesn't do it for me. I'm jaded on that one, as I've heard it way too often. And yes, I'm sure that you have an entire arsenal of cruel come-ons. The Clown has trained you well, grasshopper.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I hate it when girls say "Please stop, you're hurting me!" I'm so sick of hearing that nomenclature, I could scream.

puerileuwaite said...

Excellent use of nomenclature in a sentence, mighty d. Ethan would be beaming with pride.

GirlGoyle said...

I'm going to refrain from any comments because the ones that I would post would not be very "chipper" per say. I'm in a homicidal mode, let's leave it at that. Just wanted to say hi.

jmeped said...

I am sorry. No one should be asked to look at bodily "stuff" That's just wrong. =) Thanks for playing see you monday.

puerileuwaite said...

No problem, little ladies.

See you Monday, jmeped.

GG, I hope everything is okay. If you want me to rough somebody up, just say the word.

Party Girl said...

"I could give a fuck."

It actually means, you don't give a fuck."
And how much does a fuck give?

jmeped said...

if a wood chuck could fuck wood?

puerileuwaite said...

Wow, ladies! I can tell that the weekend is almost at hand for you two. I don't know if I should envy the men that cross your paths tonight and tomorrow, or if I should pity them. Perhaps both!

jmeped said...

bwhahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!

Party Girl said...

I'm actually in a really good mood.

I am eagerly anticipating leaving work and replacing the keyboard with a vodka cranberry.

puerileuwaite said...

I love good vodka. Grey Goose is my brand, when I do drink it. I don't - much - during the summer (which SHOULD be the best time for it), because it makes me tired.

So during the summer I am a whiskey drinker. Current favorite? Knob Creek (you know, for "knobs" like me). Gooood stuff!

Drink a toast to me, tonight, would ya?

Paula said...

PW
I thought you were the boss.

puerileuwaite said...

PJ, well if I were in charge, than I'd make sure I was the boss. Read that back to me. Wait, that sounded like shit. Damn you, writer's block!

Party Girl said...

mmm, I drank for you, me, and all the trees on Friday night. I started around 3, finished around 3.
Hmmm, well, when I word it like that no wonder I was, "all of a sudden drunk."

puerileuwaite said...

Ah, Party Girl, those were the days ... I remember them well. Now that I think about it, actually I don't remember them at all. And it is probably a good thing that I don't.