Writer's Block Continues

Hello, it's me -

I thought I would go with that greeting for variety, and also because I love that song by Todd Rundgren. "It's important to me, that you know you are free." For the longest time, I hadn't a clue as to what he meant. Now I do. It's an oblique and therefore classy way to get rid of someone, while convincing them that it's really their idea. Brilliant!

Well, the writer's block continues, hence the unimaginative title. Fortunately, though, it may have dawned on me WHY I have been in this funk. The torture weasels running this place have been forcing me to spend time thinking about work-related matters, thus depleting my natural reserves of witty introspection.

Also, vendors have been calling to vie for my attention, without offering any swag of note as fair compensation for feigning interest in whatever they sell. One guy had the absolute goofiest title for his software product. Whoever came up with that doozy should be calling Betty Ford to see if the extended stay suite is available.

How can I let him know, without actually saying it, that - for this week, not every one - I just want to be left alone to blog and generate carbon dioxide for local plant life? But these vendor dimwits are totally inept in the fine art of interpreting subtle hints.

In good times, I probably would've considered a pity purchase. But these aren't, so I see the sales guy quickly (and involuntarily) moving on to the next phase of his "21st century Willy Loman*" (* from "Death of a Salesman", I threw this in as a homework assignment so that you could Google SOMETHING other than your own damned names for once) career progression as a telemarketer. He will, of course, then make a point of calling me once again with yet another exciting new offer, continuing the circle of jerkiness.

Another culprit that may be contributing to my blockage are the phrases that have become lodged sideways into my already misshapen brain, interfering with those few precious neurons that carry sane and practical thoughts. Phrases such as "frame of reference", "if I frame it this way", and "cheeky bounder".

"Cheeky Bounder" in particular has been driving my up the wall. It sounds cute, like "wanker", but probably is equally insulting. I even got off of my lazy ass (well, technically I didn't, but I was too lazy just now to come up with a more accurate phrase that would properly illustrate the pain that the gesture caused) to actually Google it. I received 881 hits, but the first 10 were articles that would force me to read more than two sentences, so no thanks. I'll make this YOUR homework assignment, instead. Yet another opportunity to remind me that you know more than I do.

"Frame of reference" and "framing" concepts in general are phrases that my boss likes to sprinkle liberally throughout conversations. For instance, a typical comment of his would be: "Well, it's really not so major of a setback if you "frame" it this way ... (then he describes the way that it could be alternatively framed). I can only sit there and fantasize about a scenario where he is convicted of a homicide, and shortly thereafter I visit him in prison and console him, agreeing that yes, indeed he was framed.

It makes me wonder what phrases people use in your daily lives that drive you nuts. Let's compare and contrast, shall we?