Sunday, July 16, 2006

My First Meme!

Hi All,

Courtesy of Blackbird, here is my first meme. And if I embarrass myself enough, it is likely my last!

GRUB-OLOGY

• What is your salad dressing of choice?
> It's a tie between Oriental Sesame Ginger and (REAL) Blue Cheese.

• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
> Wendy's.

• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
> It varies. Right now I'm jonesing for Ranalli's Pizza on Clark Street (Old Town) in Chicago. The best pizza on the planet.

• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15 - 20%.
> 20%, at least, always. Unless the service was REALLY BAD or VERY UNFRIENDLY (I do factor in how busy they are, or if the wait staff is dealing with issues beyond their control); then I usually say something, yet still give 15%.

• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
> This is a tough one. Two safe choices are good pizza, or good Mexican food.

• Name three foods you detest above all others.
> Head cheese (mom used to buy it; WTF is IN it?!; I'd never touch it; do they even still make it?), cow tongue (yuck, I'd rather French-kiss a live cow; mom had weird eating habits), liver (had to eat it once a week as a kid; at that time it was supposed to be good for you ... rich in iron; now, it evokes images of Hannibal Lechter ... maybe if I had it with a glass of Chianti ...).

• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
> Dun Show Ping, my favorite waitress! She love me long time. Okay, you want SERIOUS answer. Okay, then. Schezchuan (i.e. - Kung Pow Beef or Chicken).

• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
> I'm a plain cheese guy. As for toppings: veggies.

• What do you like to put on your toast?
> I alternate. Either just butter, or with grape or strawberry jelly. I like to live on the edge.

• What is your favorite type of gum?
> Trident Sugar-Free Whitening: Cinnamon, Spearmint, Peppermint or Winter Fresh.

BI-OLOGY

• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
> Stop! There may be kids reading this! Okay, I'll go with a socially-acceptable answer: my general physique (6'1", 185 lbs).

• Are you right handed or left handed?
> Right-handed. But for some off-handed reason, I shoot pool - and rifles, usually from office buildings - left-handed.

• Do you like your smile?
> It's okay, I guess. I don't spend a lot of time in front of a mirror, so I don't have a strong opinion on this topic. Crocodiles always smile back at me, for what it's worth.

• Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
> BESIDES my soul? Not voluntarily. But who knows what happens during my frequent alien encounters? I am likely THEIR version of the "Operation" game.

• Would you like to?
> Well, I just watched "TransAmerica" the other day, so it got me to thinkin' ... what is SO important about being able to stand up to urinate?

• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
> Wow, there's FIVE? I gotta get out more ...

• When was the last time you had a cavity?
> Mid-'80's. Not big on dentists, so I take care of my chompers. Whew! Thank God you didn't add "search" after that question!

• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
> Well, there still may be a few underagers reading, so I'll go with my tool case. Oh, and weights.

• Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
> Yes. I am only semi-conscious right now.

MISC-OLOGY

• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
> No way. The suspense would kill me! Make it a surprise. Oh, and make it quick.

• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
> Right now, I'm thinkin' "Superfly". But it varies with mood. In fact, I suggest that first names SHOULD be changeable to reflect current state of mind (example: "Asshole Smith, party of one").

• How do you express your artistic side?
> I "tag" railroad boxcars.

• What color do you think you look best in?
> Natural flesh tones ;-)

• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
> It depends on whether I play "hard to get". The courting ritual alone could take 6-months.

• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
> Well, I HAVE dined at Taco Bell in the past, so I'm going to assume that I have.

• If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
> Well, if I were from the south, I would argue with the "bound by society's conventions" statement. But I'm from the north, so I'd say Uncle Ernie.

• How often do you go to church?
> This is the proverbial can of worms. NEVER, if I can help it. Let me say that I am very open-minded, and am always researching and seeking divine enlightenment. Having been raised as a Catholic, I WANT to believe. I also think that we shouldn't be pricks to each other for the majority of the time, just to behave in a special building for a few hours out of each week. Earth should be an extension of heaven, not a morally barren place full of judgemental, self-absorbed and materialistic assholes. Organized religion, in general, has a manipulative agenda all its own, one that is exclusive from the Supreme Being's (assuming/hoping there is one). But hey, if it works for you, then great. I believe that at some point this should become an educated, individual journey. If some of us wind up in the same building, and do no harm to others, then, okay. End of cuckoo rant.

• Have you ever saved someone’s life?
> Probably. Every time that I successfully fight the impulse to push someone in front of a train, I feel that I'm doing my part. Oh, and stay away from Taco Bell! There, I just saved at least one of you.

• Has someone ever saved yours?
> Yes. This story is personal, though.

DARE-OLOGY

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
> Absolutely. But first, show me the money. No "I-owe-you's" like last time. Let me know in advance, please, so that I can start my Enzyte and Viagra training regimen.

• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
> Only on weekends, as part of my second line of work. Oh, and not on the lips. I don't want to fall in love like "Pretty Woman".

• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
> I can get reimbursed for these activities? Cool.

• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
> Well, I have until Friday to come up with the money. So we'll see.

• Would you never blog again for $50,000?
> Who put you up to this? Is there really a collection going? C'mon, my blog can't be THAT bad.

• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
> Sure. They do still publish "High Times", don't they? I'll be the "before" shot for the Enzyte ad.

• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
> What do YOU think?! Duh! In these parts, we call this drink the "Flaming Sphincter".

• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
> No. Thou shalt not kill.

• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
> You betcha. Throw in a double-date with Sinead O'Conner, the singer from "Live", and one of the Manson girls, and you've gotta deal, pardner.

• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
> Okay, who put you up to this? Why, this reminds me of the time on "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", where ...... oh, never mind. Sure, okay, I'll do it, you sadists. If there's no better way for you to get yer jollies!

Thanks for the meme - ories.

18 comments:

leelee said...

OOOH, I want to play..may take some time..I'm right on it!!

puerileuwaite said...

Okay, leelee, but no "fluff" answers. I want to see the real you, as disturbing as that may be.

Paula said...

So, when you tag the boxcars are you right out there or all furtive like?

puerileuwaite said...

PJ, it's not a challenge unless they're moving. Suction cups and stealth, m'lady.

leelee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
puerileuwaite said...

Leelee - Good answers! And some of them got me so excited, that I'm ready for the nude walk down the public street now ...

BTW, you fell into my evil trap! You are helping to confirm my theory that most women CAN be attracted to someone from the same sex, given the right conditions. Not true for most men, though, priests and scoutmasters being the exception to the rule.

And of course you can say anything here! In fact, the waxing paragraph has me ready to wax the ol' surfboard.

And yes, those are my height / weight dimensions. I'll let you in on my little secret ... that really isn't my picture.

The post was unscheduled, BTW, but way too fun to pass up. Memes are neat. If fact, I already have plans for a followup ...

leelee said...

ohhhh, that ISN'T your real picture??

Honestly I thought perhaps you had mixed up the dimensions and you actually meant 6" 1'

As far as my answers go..it seems the OLDER I get, the more things I actually WOULD do for money..hmmmm interesting.

blackbird said...

You could just pee sitting down ya know.

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee, my "things I'd do for money" graph would be an inverted bell curve: more willing when I was young, and also now that I'm getting older. Interesting ... and disturbing.

puerileuwaite said...

BB, I need to start thinking things through a bit more often. Okay, I'll cancel the surgery. But the boobs stay.

leelee said...

Interesting and disturbing yes, but..I used to do crazy stuff for the hell of it, now, money sweetens the pot...lol..wait, wait that didn't come out right....not that I actually DO "stuff"...this is all hypothetical right...hey you started it!

leelee said...

ok...I see that I am the only one who played meme with you...was I supposed to put that on MY blog? and not answer here?

puerileuwaite said...

Leelee, the truth comes out! This meme really seems to have struck a chord with you.

And I think you are on the verge of spilling the beans about something wild that you feel guilty about ...

And yes, while it was nice for me that you did your meme in the comments of my post, you should also post it on your blog.

Party Girl said...

I would like to take this opportunity to say; I love your wicked smart-ass sarcastic wit.

It's very fun.

also, thanks for some insight into you. Nice.

puerileuwaite said...

Thank you PG. Normally, being a smart-ass garners me scorn, not praise.

leelee said...

Gulty about a past wilding???...never, I don't do guilt...but I also will never tell ;-)

GirlGoyle said...

You seem to like cheese and pizza a lot. :)

At work and bored...I'll give it a whirl....hope you got time.

GRUB-OLOGY

• What is your salad dressing of choice?
> Why complicate things...Italian or a vinaigrette.

• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
> I don't eat at fast food - I'd rather starve.

• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
> Even if I told you...you wouldn't know what I was talking about. Plus...best place to eat is right in my kitchen.

• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? >15 - 20% but will not shy giving less if the service sux. Oh...and if it does suck, don't worry it usually is mentioned.

• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
> Lobster. I'm a simple girl with expensive taste so what?!

• Name three foods you detest above all others.
> I eat it all except for cow brains, pickles and peanutbutter. Not a big fan.

• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
> Tappas. I mean, Fried lice with som-yunguy

• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
> plain margarita is best.

• What do you like to put on your toast?
> Dunno...whatever is around. Eggs, ham, cheese, butter, jelly - anything.

• What is your favorite type of gum?
> Huh? It's gum...

BI-OLOGY

• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
> I thought it was my brain, however it has been brought to my attention many times that some prefer to omit that particular and focus on the breasts. So, based on popular demand...boobs it is.

• Are you right handed or left handed?
> Depends.I would say I'm a bit ambidextrous.

• Do you like your smile?
> Yes. Again...have received more than one comment on it. I suppose all those years wearing braces paid off.

• Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
> Like what? An alien protrusion? No...well this one time...at band camp...i had a wart removed. Does that count?

• Would you like to?
> I'm all for liposuction. You live only once. You might as well look your best.

• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
> My common sense. LOL - couldn't resist.

• When was the last time you had a cavity?
> a new one? a while tho the dentist is like the mechanic. any time you go he'll find something to drill.

• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
 > water buckets, hay

• Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
> No,but i have thought of doing it to others. Mia culpa!

MISC-OLOGY

• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
> Hell yeah. At least I'd know when I can quit this job, tell my boss what i think of him, kiss a random hottie on the street, dance on a pole, go fishing naked, and all the other improper things one would like to do but doesn't.

• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
> Off the top of my head like this...i'm stumped....humm...something cool like Vega.

• How do you express your artistic side?
> I blog, I talk, I rant, I rave and I paint

• What color do you think you look best in?
> Ceranwrap clear

• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
> Tough question...though I assure you I woulnd't go down without a fight.

• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
> I swallow and it's no mistake. Ok, I'll be serious: one time on a trail ride I was coughing and swallowed a fly.

• If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
>Hell no. Tho I have a friend with a hot cousin..does that count?

• How often do you go to church?
> I try twice a year but before I do, I put my right foot in. I put my right foot out. I put my right foot in and I swirl it all about. This is to make sure that I don't go up in flames. Figured if I go toe first I'll have enough time to put the fire out.

• Have you ever saved someone’s life?
> Yes, drowining victim

• Has someone ever saved yours?
> No...I can swim just fine.

DARE-OLOGY

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
> Yeah!

• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
> Nah...not enough money. unless ofcourse she's the likes of Angelina Jolie. And def not if she's anything like our admin girl. BARF!

• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
> I guess tho I'm not sure I'd know what to do.

• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
> I got 9 more. And with some of that money I could get it reattached.

• Would you never blog again for $50,000?
> Yep - sorry guys...I'm cheap!

• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
> Hell yeah. Though I can't imagine the reputation of a magazine that pays so little for nude pics.

• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
> I'd give it a try...not sure I could survive this one.

• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
> Only one life?! Damn!

• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
> Well...I'm half way there. All I need is to shave my head.

• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
> Easy! I don't watch more than 1hr of TV a day anyway. No biggie.

PHew! Done! Now i'm tired.

puerileuwaite said...

GG,

Great answers on "way too many levels" to comment on in this space.

You are tough-as-nails fun and scary all rolled into one (I seem to *attract* "challenging" women ... for some reason ... it's a gift/curse ...).

You remind me of 2-lines from "The Simpsons" (sorry ... my gut says that you're probably NOT a Simpsons fan ... nevertheless ...):

Scene: 2-boys are sitting on a split-rail fence watching Lisa gallop past.

Boy #1: "Look how she tamed that horse!"
Boy #2: "Yeah, but can any man tame her?"

I envy your future mate ... but, strangely, I pity him too ;-)
He'll never be bored, that's for damn sure.